Hope You All Had a Better Holiday Than I Did

[Beowulf]

Well, I always dread the holidays and after yesterday I don't intend to go to the "House of Chaos" (my in-laws home) or anywhere they plan to gather. Besides that, I may not be the most welcome guy around after I made my feelings known, feeling I held back for years.

My stupid sister-in-law shows up with her new boyfriend, both of them strung out on dope of some sort and smelling of liquor. He wasn't so much an issue but she was a bitch and causing her usual turmoil. Couple that with people couldn't co-ordinate and meet a one time. By the day's end, my wife winds up in a fist fight with her own sister (yes, my before mentioned SIL) and people are arguing. Somehow, we managed to eat some dinner and then leave.

Of course, I finally spoke up and asked of my in-laws how long they plan looking the other way about the SIL's problems? How long they plan on picking her up again for the 1000'th time after she has again fallen due to her bad decision making? I had a few more thoughts related to this. Now you all know why I hate the holidays and have so for the last 15 years.

The wife and I haven't discussed it as she was too upset yesterday but the time is coming for that. I think she finally reached her breaking point. I did tell her of a solution I have (feel free to laugh): DrPhil.com

So, I hope you all had a better time than I did.

[ronin9]

good luck man.sometimes it's impossible to make people see what you see-they just see what they want.:laugh@sad

[nene]

Life is too short to be unhappy. You and your wife should be able to enjoy your holidays.

[TheRealLobo]

When we were younger, we were told we couldn't pick our family.

Maybe not, but we can certainly pick the one's we want to spend time with.

I've have similar experiences, and some others here, have had them too.

Spend your time as you wish, but don't feel bad if you don't wanna spend time with folks that act like that.

[kate]

I'm sorry to hear about those happenings, Beowulf. I hope, you're wife will feel better soon and you'll find a solution together. I hope things might get easier with your sister-in-law. Maybe breaking up contact to them would be a good idea. Then again it's also sad :/ Just tell your wife to keep her head up.

After all, after every rain shower there shows up a rainbow somewhere.

And nene: Life is the longest thing you experience..how can you call it short? :P

[Wolfcounsel]

YIKES! Sorry to hear that. Along the lines of Lobo, you can pick your nose and you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your friend's nose OR your family.:eek:

[nene]

And nene: Life is the longest thing you experience..how can you call it short? :P
I'm 36 and am about to turn 37. I feel like I'm 19 and I don't know what happened to my 20s. It seems like yesterday that my eldest son believed me when I told him that I had to tie down the turkey in the fridge because if I didn't, it would fly away, now he's 11 and I have to buy his shoes in the men's department. I look at my wife, and three sons and at times I don't believe what I'm seeing.

Kate, life is short, and it gets shorter every day.

I will not allow unhappiness to worm its way into my home. You can't control everything, but control the things your able.

[Wolfcounsel]

"Kate, life is short, and it gets shorter every day." --nene



The minute you're born, you begin to die.

[Beowulf]

The minute you're born, you begin to die.
LMAO!! I never thought of it that way!

Seriously though, I just spoke with the wife a short time ago after figuring out just what to say to her. She was in a good mood which helped. I made it simple, "I'm proud of you for taking a stand against your sister when no one else in your family would."

The more I thought about yesterday, how it all happened and how her sister has always been this way, I felt maybe it was the right thing to say...to the wife anyway. I think she's going to give her Mom an earful as neither of us really want to go over for X-Mas.

Oh wait! I don't have to anyway! I have to work!
*pumps fists* YES!!:cool:

[kate]

"Kate, life is short, and it gets shorter every day." --nene



The minute you're born, you begin to die.
I remember when I heard that on tv a few years ago and told it to my mom. :/ She said I should stop repeating such negative crap and go show her my homework. lol Not sure if she even remembers that. lol I still think the statement is true though.

[HomeschoolrsRUs]

Beo, my brother,

I can SO relate to what you wrote. Our Thanksgiving "celebration" was similar. My son was alredy at his Great-Gramma's house (where the whole family congregates for the holidays), and our car is broken down so my daughter had to ride with my husband's mother as our little Toyota truck is a 2-seater. My Mother-in-Law (who lives behind us), my Sister-in-law and Nephew (who live behind my MIL), and my daughter all left to go up about 15 minutes before my husband and I. When Bubba and I got there, my son was on his way out the door, didn't even say "hello" to me, but instead grabbed his Dad's arm and said "Dad, I have to talk to you outside." We should have just packed up the kids, made them ride in the back of the truck and come straight home. My son told his Dad that his grandmother (my husband's mother) had IMMEDIATELY upon arrival putlled him aside and told him he had better play with his cousin (the aforementioned nephew, who is a spoiled-brat and considered the golden-child) instead of his OTHER cousins, OR ELSE. This child constantly does things to get in trouble and frames my son. Even when he doesn't make the effort to frame my son, my son is ALWAYS the one who gets blamed. My husband had had enough --- he told me there would be no more attendance at family functions, that we would go up separately and at different times than his Mother, Sister, and Nephew. We didn't have any fist-fights or physical violence, but I can see how it could have escalated (most especially if my son had told ME first instead of his Dad, LOL).

The only bright spot was the day AFTER Thanksgiving -- I shopped til I dropped. Left the house at 5:10am got back home at 10:17pm last night! Had a GREAT time and didn't think about my in-laws once, LOL. Unfortunately, Bubba is laid up in the bed with the flu, so I guess every silver-lining has a cloud, LOL.

Beo, my prayers are with you, hun. Just remember what the holiday is all about, being thankful. Hug and love the ones that mean the most, and know God loves you always!

[Rink]

My old man had a surefire solution to problems such as these.... and that is.....
Stay Home on the Holidays!!!

Thats what we as a family always did.

I guess my old man was wise enough to wanna stay home and eat his wife's own good cookin and enjoy a good day watchin football and enjoyin a quiet time together with the family.

[Beowulf]

If only it were that easy, Rink. If only.

[Rink]

Hey Beo yer the Man of the house, and the man of the house is the Head of the house, so since the Head of the house has the LAST say, and if ya wanna stay home, Say it and dont budge heh! :D

[Longhorn_Platinum]

:unsmile: My holiday went okay, except that my closet-liberal father had purchased a copy of (I kid you not) Fullofshit 9/11, & insisted on showing it in his living room. I think he was steamed because I stayed in another room. He says he just wanted to hear both sides, but I see precious little evidence that he's ever listened to our side.

[SunnyBrook]

Oh my, Moo!! Yours is the worst story of all!

Actually, we had a not-so-great T day as well. First of all, my husband's Great Grandfather died on Tuesday, so the funeral would be Friday, so we were all a little sad, even though he was quite old and we knew he was about to die.

Thursday started out fine with lunch with my family. Later in the afternoon, DH took the kids on over to his sister's house. This is her first time to ever host T Day. I stayed at my parents' house to see my sis for a couple of hours longer. By the time I arrived at my SIL's house, she had been "offended" by her father, her other brother (not dh) and his wife and kids, and had locked herself in her bedroom. She never emerged until the very end of the evening. Meanwhile, I and the other DIL had to prepare the meal in dear SIL's kitchen. She had no hot pads, no drinking glasses, no ice, very little silverware, no serving dishes, and had prepared no food for the occasion. Of course, we had expected no more from her than this, so we managed, but...I have to admit I am thoroughly sick of the petty, self-centered, spoiled brat nut-case who lives off of daddy and welfare and expects everyone else to cater to her every whim. Did I mention that we are raising her oldest child? She "gave" her to us 3 years ago.

DH & I have already pretty much decided that Christmas, we will invite them all to come to our house for a gathering. If they don't like the idea, we'll stay here and have a nice cozy family day like Rink suggests! It would suit me just fine!

[Wyatt_Junker]

Did I mention that we are raising her oldest child? She "gave" her to us 3 years ago.


...and may His grace always sustain you, as no doubt it will. I'm always more than impressed with some of the members here.

[GenuineGRITS]

Our thanksgiving was decent, as we stayed home and watched the parade and football and ate 'til we couldn't anymore. Also had sil over, as her dh was out of town on business.

Yesterday was just a disaster, though. We went to my parents for Thanksgiving. I had fixed dinner but was told not to bring it, they had already had too much Thanksgiving food and we'd have snack food. No problem. Except for my mom spent most of the afternoon with my two oldest showing them pics of Aunt ... and Uncle ... and nephew one and nephew two, saying "This is Aunt ... at my house for Thanksgiving, this is Uncle ... at my house for Thanksgiving, this is your cousin ... at my house for Thanksgiving." You get the drift. Finally my seven year old asks why she didn't have pics of him at her house for Thanksgiving and she says "WELL, you didn't come to my house for Thanksgiving, YOU stayed HOME." What she left out was that, as a family, we had agreed we weren't having Thanksgiving at her house this year because my dad is recovering from surgery and is still required to take three naps a day. I didn't even know that my brother and his wife were going up and taking their children 'til the day before Thanksgiving and I was uninivited to come because all the children being there would tire dad. I was told we could come Saturday for our Thanksgiving. It became crystal clear that mom considered us a nuisance Saturday, though my dad enjoyed us there. Dh nearly burst blood vessels during the picture show and we ended up leaving early.

I'm used to mom thinking I'm useless as I'm a daughter, but was infuriated that she would treat my children as inferior to my brother's children. At least my dad and my brother aren't like this - mom nearly had a stroke last year when brother insisted his family was coming to my house for that Christmas. Mom had told him that I really didn't want his family at my house, as it would be inconvenient, and had told me that my brother didn't want to come here because I had a cat and he doesn't like them. Brother found out what she did and announced I was hosting Christmas and she could come if she liked. Sigh. Love my family, but won't tolerate mom making my children feel like the begger taken in, as I felt my entire childhood. Christmas should be interesting.

[Peachdiane]

Family!!!

dP and I celebrated Thanksgiving with his friends and their family. I made 2 sweet potato pies and 2 bourbon pecan. Yummy!

His children see me as the cause of the breakup between him and their mother even though the problems started long before I came in the picture. So they aren't talking to him and asked him to stay away which is a shame 'cause he's always been there for them. Their loss!!

Beo, I remember last Thanksgiving was bad too. I'm so glad you spoke up!!!!! In-laws need to learn 'tough love.'

[SunnyBrook]

...and may His grace always sustain you, as no doubt it will. I'm always more than impressed with some of the members here.
Actually, Wyatt, I was starting to feel like a whiner for even bringing it up here, but since the thread was created just for griping...LOL!

Anyway, His grace is sufficient only because I demonstrate such painfully inept weakness. The strength of His perfection is an ongoing process that has to be lived out. Believe me, my attitudes throughout this whole mess have often been less than impressive! Several years ago, I was pretty confident in my phariseical (sp?) self. Through my niece, I have had to confront the hidden ugliness within that rose to the surface when the waters of my life were troubled. Purification is not a pretty process! My hope is the glory that is yet to be revealed--shining, golden glory of Christ bursting through my frailty with His power. Even so, come Lord Jesus!

[Faithful_Servant]

Sorry to rain on everyone's parades, but I had a great Thanksgiving!!

My wife, son and I drove up to Couer D'Alene Idaho to spend the holiday with my mom. We had dinner at her brother's house and had a great spread, watched a little football and had a great time. The next day, we did a little shopping. looked at a bunch of old (200+ years) family pictures. We found a picture of my great-granfather John Allen that looks just like me (except for the chin), that my wife was utterly fascinated with. That evening we went downtown (Couer D'Alene sits right the lake and is just about the prettiest town I'v ever seen) and watched fireworks from the balcony of a 5 star hotel (the best fireworks I've ever seen) and then got to see all of the downtown Christmas lights all come on together, including a bunch of lighted figures on the marina. It was probably one of the best I can remember.

[Rink]

Sorry to rain on everyone's parades, but I had a great Thanksgiving!!

My wife, son and I drove up to Couer D'Alene Idaho to spend the holiday with my mom. We had dinner at her brother's house and had a great spread, watched a little football and had a great time. The next day, we did a little shopping. looked at a bunch of old (200+ years) family pictures. We found a picture of my great-granfather John Allen that looks just like me (except for the chin), that my wife was utterly fascinated with. That evening we went downtown (Couer D'Alene sits right the lake and is just about the prettiest town I'v ever seen) and watched fireworks from the balcony of a 5 star hotel (the best fireworks I've ever seen) and then got to see all of the downtown Christmas lights all come on together, including a bunch of lighted figures on the marina. It was probably one of the best I can remember.
Hey FS, is Couer D'alene lake as nice as it used to be? with the little dock and shop for fishing and boats to rent? I visited that place long ago during a family reunion, lol o and one thing.... does that lake still have snapping turtles in it?

I once caught one there off that lil dock, the shop manager swore that lake doesnt have snapping turtles but i caught one with my fishing line heh.

Glad ya had a good Thanksgivin.

[CaliGirl]

We took CaliBoy's parents out to Home Town Buffet around 1pm. His dad has Alzheimer's, so we were entertained with the same story over and over and over again. We visited with them for a few mintues at our place, and then CaliBoy took them home.