New heavy element found: Governmentium

[Pennville_Bill]

<hr style="color: rgb(153, 153, 153);" size="1"> <!-- / icon and title --> <!-- message --> A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science.

The new element has been named “Governmentium”. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as “Critical Morass”.

You will know it when you see it.

[DoctorDoom]

There is a much denser element known as Liberalium (aka Stupidium), a deadly isotope formed by the decay of Governmentium. Note that in defiance of physical laws, the more Governmentium decays into Liberalium, the more its mass increases.

Liberalium has no known worthwhile function. It exists only to counteract or alter the properties of the rapidly decreasing amount of Constitutium (discovered in 1787) that was once found in large quantities when useful Governmentium was first synthesized.

It is believed that a compound of Conservatium and Revolutium will restore the system to its original chemical balance, but the latter has not been found in the US since its supply was exhausted in 1783.

[DesertFox]

Liberalium's function, discovered from detailed study of chaos theory, has just been discovered: It is to increase entropy wheresoever order is found, such as those environments initially rich in Constitutium. It normally concentrates in black holes, aka "govt programs," after forming accretion disks of decayed Governmentium, stray bits of morons and the tattered remnants of peons. Playful physicists have also styled these accretion disks "useless shitium."

[Pendragon_6]

Socialitium>Communitium>democratium>liberalium=random misfiring neuron morons