DoctorDoom
04-23-2005, 07:29 PM
You've been online too long when...
• Your wife drapes a wig over the monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
• You check your mail. It says "no new messages" so you check it again.
• You name your children Eudora, Mozilla, and Dotcom.
• All of your friends have an @ in their names.
• You get a tattoo that says, "This body best viewed with Internet Explorer 6.0."
• You ask the plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of the computer with a toilet.
• You start tilting your head sideways whenever you smile. :-)
• As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.
• You're on your fifth keyboard.
• Your username gets 15,000 hits on Google.
• You look for the Enter key on your typewriter.
• You identify people by their ICQ numbers.
• You go into withdrawal during a power outage.
• You seriously contemplate connecting a modem to your cellular phone.
• You're amazed to find that some CDs actually have music on them.
• A store clerk asks if you need help and you say, "No, thanks, just surfing."
• You're convinced that your microwave quit because of a virus.
• You try to enter your password into the microwave.
• You try to double-click the station's logo while watching TV.
• You tell your wife the VCR is set to download your favorite show while you're out.
• You call erasing old video tapes reformatting.
• eBay has a special day in your honor.
• Your spouse names your ISP in the divorce suit.
• You pass on and your ISP retires your IP number.
• You know every one of the Windows errors by heart.
• The floor plan of your house is on your computer so you know where the other rooms are without asking your mate.
• You wonder what it would take to replace your car's steering wheel with a mouse.
• You installed software that downloads whole websites for offline viewing but you haven't had the chance to see if it works.
• The phone rings and you ask, "What the heck was THAT?"
• AOL calls YOU for tech support.
• You have a webcam on your dashboard so you can see where you're going on your laptop screen.
• Your wallpaper is a photo of your kids so you remember who those annoying little people are.
• Your idea of a vacation trip is visiting tourism sites.
• You buy his and hers computers and talk with each other in chatrooms.
• Your concept of ending a relationship is deleting an entry from your address book.
• You stand in a checkout line at the market wondering if you can hack the store's computer to lower the prices on coffee and Twinkies.
• You're standing with your family watching a dazzling sunset, and you say, "Man, what awesome graphics!"
• You hand-write a letter, then scan it so you can e-mail it.
• Your wife asks where the stamps are and you ask, "What's a stamp?"
• You install automated-house software because you can't remember where the light switches are.
• You put your webcam in the fridge to see if the light really does go out.
• You wish the local pizza parlor had a website for call-in orders.
• You consider yourself bilingual because you can read HTML.
• Your idea of a birthday gift for your kid is his very own home page.
• You can quote MickeySoft's licensing agreement from memory.
• Your wife drapes a wig over the monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
• You check your mail. It says "no new messages" so you check it again.
• You name your children Eudora, Mozilla, and Dotcom.
• All of your friends have an @ in their names.
• You get a tattoo that says, "This body best viewed with Internet Explorer 6.0."
• You ask the plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of the computer with a toilet.
• You start tilting your head sideways whenever you smile. :-)
• As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.
• You're on your fifth keyboard.
• Your username gets 15,000 hits on Google.
• You look for the Enter key on your typewriter.
• You identify people by their ICQ numbers.
• You go into withdrawal during a power outage.
• You seriously contemplate connecting a modem to your cellular phone.
• You're amazed to find that some CDs actually have music on them.
• A store clerk asks if you need help and you say, "No, thanks, just surfing."
• You're convinced that your microwave quit because of a virus.
• You try to enter your password into the microwave.
• You try to double-click the station's logo while watching TV.
• You tell your wife the VCR is set to download your favorite show while you're out.
• You call erasing old video tapes reformatting.
• eBay has a special day in your honor.
• Your spouse names your ISP in the divorce suit.
• You pass on and your ISP retires your IP number.
• You know every one of the Windows errors by heart.
• The floor plan of your house is on your computer so you know where the other rooms are without asking your mate.
• You wonder what it would take to replace your car's steering wheel with a mouse.
• You installed software that downloads whole websites for offline viewing but you haven't had the chance to see if it works.
• The phone rings and you ask, "What the heck was THAT?"
• AOL calls YOU for tech support.
• You have a webcam on your dashboard so you can see where you're going on your laptop screen.
• Your wallpaper is a photo of your kids so you remember who those annoying little people are.
• Your idea of a vacation trip is visiting tourism sites.
• You buy his and hers computers and talk with each other in chatrooms.
• Your concept of ending a relationship is deleting an entry from your address book.
• You stand in a checkout line at the market wondering if you can hack the store's computer to lower the prices on coffee and Twinkies.
• You're standing with your family watching a dazzling sunset, and you say, "Man, what awesome graphics!"
• You hand-write a letter, then scan it so you can e-mail it.
• Your wife asks where the stamps are and you ask, "What's a stamp?"
• You install automated-house software because you can't remember where the light switches are.
• You put your webcam in the fridge to see if the light really does go out.
• You wish the local pizza parlor had a website for call-in orders.
• You consider yourself bilingual because you can read HTML.
• Your idea of a birthday gift for your kid is his very own home page.
• You can quote MickeySoft's licensing agreement from memory.