NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!!! ALL ARE WELCOME! OPEN TO MEN ONLY!

[Suzie]

NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!!! ALL ARE WELCOME! OPEN TO MEN ONLY!

Evening classes for men. Starting this month!

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty of their contents,
each course will accept a maximum of eight participants each.

Topic 1. How to fill ice-cube trays. Step by step with slide
presentation.

Topic 2. Lavatory paper rolls: do they grow on the holders? Round-table
discussion.

Topic 3: Differences between the laundry basket and the floor. Pictures
and explanatory graphics.

Topic 4. The after-dinner dishes and silverware: can they levitate and
fly into the kitchen sink? Examples on video.

Topic 5. Loss of identity: losing the remote to your significant other.
Help line and support groups.

Topic 6. Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right
place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. Open
forum.

Topic 7. Health watch: bringing her flowers is not harmful to your
health. Graphics and audio tape.

Topic 8. Real men ask for directions when lost. Real-life testimonials.

Topic 9. Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel
parks? Driving simulation.

Topic 10. Learning to live: basic differences between mother and wife.
Online class and role playing.

Topic 11. How to be the ideal shopping companion. Relaxation exercises,
meditation and breathing techniques.

Topic 12. How to fight cerebral atrophy: remembering birthdays,
anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you're going to be
late. Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.

Upon completion of the course, diplomas will be issued.

Register now!

Contact your the nearest Society of Typical Men (STM) branch at
1-800-IAM-AMAN now!

[DesertFox]

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon133.gif

[Greymon]

This sounds like a very difficult course. I'm not sure I could complete it. Will there be anyone there to help me (preferable young and nice looking and female, of course)? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon51.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Drops outs are welcome to register for the Jan 4th class, His needs - her needs

Good one Sooz.

Forget Topic 1, some woman figured out that was a lost cause and invented automatic ice makers. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon1.gif

[CaliGirl]

Thanks Suzie!

I printed them out for CaliBoy.

Should I hang a copy in each room?

[Greymon]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Should I hang a copy in each room?


[/ QUOTE ]

Why? None of us can read can we?

[Peachdiane]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Topic 3: Differences between the laundry basket and the floor. Pictures
and explanatory graphics.

[/ QUOTE ]

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon133.gif My favorite!

Good luck men!

[Radical-Conservative]

There's a difference???

[Peachdiane]

Rad, you scare me! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

[Radical-Conservative]

yeah?

Gimme a break I'm a single male /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[Greymon]

Let this old married man help you Rad. If your clothes are dirty, they go on the floor. If you're not sure if they're dirty or clean then they go into the basket, except on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. They go on the floor those days.

If your clothes are really dirty, they go into the basket, except of course, when there is a full moon, then they go onto the floor.

I hope this helps.

[Peachdiane]

::shakes head:: Uh uh, nope, that's no excuse! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon129.gif

[Suzie]

You mean yours actually notices when you hang things on the wall? I put a new picture on the wall one day and it took mine a year and a half to notice. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif

[Suzie]

OK, just to be fair I had a buddy send this to me responding to the above which I forwarded him in an E-mail....


CLASSES FOR WOMEN..

Women think they already know everything, but wait...training courses
are now available for women on the following subjects:

1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before

2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits

3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits

4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game

5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too

6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His

7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First

8. Communication Skills II : Thinking Before Speaking

9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging

10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire

11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up

12. Introduction to Parking (hahahahahahaha)

13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space

14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat

15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter

16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption

17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People

18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully

19. PMS: Your Problem . . . Not His

20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To

21. Classic Footwear: Wearing Shoes You Already Have

22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice

23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together

24. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both

25. TV Remotes: For Men Only

[Peachdiane]

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon133.gif

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption

[/ QUOTE ]

Nor pets, even. My dogs REFUSE to come near the stuff.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I'm gonna read all of this when I finish scratching and grunting.

[Peachdiane]

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Welcome to FC!

Di

[Timberwolf]

My sides, my sides!!! ROTFLMBO!!!!

Both lists are fantastic!

[TSawyer2112]

I would like to add a couple of courses to the list for women:

26. The Concept and Operation of a Thermostat-Taking advantage of their automatic temperature control feature. Would include a breakdown of the meaning of the word Thermostat.

27. Avoiding the Female Television Magnet-How women can prevent being magically attracted to that area directly in front of the television. This class would include a discussion regarding the direct proportional relationship between the importance of the activity on TV to the male (ie bottom of the 9th, 2 outs, 3-2 count, Game 7 of the World Series) and the strength of the magnet phenomenon.

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

[Peachdiane]

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon133.gif

Those are great TS!

I have one more for women:

26. "Do these jeans make my butt look big?"
Learning why men lie. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

[TSawyer2112]

That is a good one Peachdiane.

"'Do these jeans make my butt look big?'
Learning why men lie"

At least those of us that don't want to sleep on the sofa /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon16.gif

[blakjaque shelac]

Are you a character-homosexual and don't know it?

Course introduction : In the sixites we heard "Why can't men be more like women?" In more recent decades many men have taken to treating their women friends as buddies. This course looks at that growing segment of the population that seems to want a partner that is same-gender in character but with opposite-gender private parts. We'll explore why some women consider "lady" a slur, and how their rejection of lady-like behaviour lead to the much bemoaned dearth of gentlemen. Laboratory work will include comparing men's attraction and behaviour toward female figure skaters versus female hockey players, and women's attraction to sensitive guys versus real men. The final exam will be waived for any female student who declares that her husband also has a right to his definition of clean being taken into account, or any male student who can show receipts for flowers three weeks in a row.

[BuckeyeMike]

[ QUOTE ]
Suzie said:
You mean yours actually notices when you hang things on the wall? I put a new picture on the wall one day and it took mine a year and a half to notice. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

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Hell, I had a full beard and mustache and it was three weeks before my wife noticed I had shaved it off! Dayum!

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