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The difference between a cat and a dog [Archive] - FreeConservatives

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nene
09-13-2005, 03:56 PM
Got this in an email:

DOG:

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!

2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!

7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

As seen in a cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continued to
taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat
dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope
of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the
furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their
feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this
at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors,
I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair
must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in
an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and
to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and
condescended about what a good little cat I was.
Hmmm, not working according to plan...

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could
hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard
that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing
"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my
advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than
happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and
speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every
move. Due to his current placement in the metal room,
his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter
of time