Internet Advertising | Loans | Mortgage Calculator | Personal Loans | Bad Credit Mortgages
What Would Jesus Drive? [Archive] - FreeConservatives

PDA

View Full Version : What Would Jesus Drive?


Eagle1
09-29-2005, 07:10 AM
Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?". But the
initials really have been changed to stand for "What would Jesus
drive?".

One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth
because the Bible says, "God drove Adam and Eve out of the
Garden of Eden in a Fury".

But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo.
The passage urges the Jesus to "pursue your enemies with your
Tempest and terrify them with your Storm".

Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers
are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds
a long blast".

Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to
talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel
where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own
Accord..."

Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced
by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph
is heard in the hills".

Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler:
"Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land". And,
following Jesus' lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda...
"The Apostles were in one Accord."

Patriot Heart
09-29-2005, 08:52 AM
:hahaha: :hahaha:

Peachdiane
09-29-2005, 08:58 AM
Too funny!!!! But, I think he'd be one cool dude in a F350 diesel. ;)

Wyatt_Junker
09-29-2005, 10:12 AM
Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers
are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds
a long blast".

I agree. It was probably a Dodge Ram Bighorn. Probably didn't jack it up though, cause that's only for guy's with small dicks and narrow shoulders.

And since He was a contractor, I would imagine something utilitarian like a truck would suit Him. And He would most certainly upgrade it for the Hemi and the 4X4 even if He didn't really need it since He could just as well aim His hand towards the ditch He was stuck in...

Now that I'm thinking about it, that would be a killer Dodge commercial. God driving a Dodge. White robe caught in the door, flying out the side of the window. He pulls up on the top of Golgotha, parks, and after a couple of donuts, takes out the lumber for the Cross. Well, you know what comes next...The Ram of Abraham...