Let's Roast Dr. Doom!!!!

[brilliantLiberal]

There are a number of the Ask ____ Anything threads going around. On one of them someone mentioned that it might be fun to roast a member a week, or once a month. I thought, who better to roast than the ever humble, ever loveable, ever congenial, and ever self depracting Dr. Doom?

Certainly he is deserving of our attention, he can take a little humorous criticism, and besides that, better him than me!

So what say ye? Shall we put the good Dr. over an open fire and slam the lid on the roasting pan? I say, let the roasting begin!!

[Lestat]

This sounds like a fun idea. Will the member that is being roasted be able to defend himself in the same topic? That would be fun.

[Pendragon_6]

Sonny, best not mess with Doc.

[DoctorDoom]

Proceed, but remember that the DoomBots CAN track you down, and then ...

[Thunderclasp]

Yeah, out of all of the people in these forums, unfortunatly the last person I'm going to even try to roast is Doom. No offence DD, but the last thing I need is giving some old fogie a heart attack because of my intense roasting skills. :smirky:

Thunderclasp

[Teenager]

I'll start.

Doom, yer a wimp. Ya know why? Cuz you won't show yer face!!

Prove us yer not a wimp by showing us a real up-to-date photo of yourself.

:D

[nightshade]

does the roasting have to be funny?

[Beowulf]

I have to side with Teenager on this one. Doc, show your face!!

Teen, you do realize what we may be setting ourselves up for?

[nene]

Post a picture of yourself on the internet and it could end up anywhere and used for whatever purpose. I find it prudent not to post pictures of myself and family.

[Eagle1]

no need, i already found it
http://www.vintagephotos.com/Image%20507%20Funny%20face%20Man.jpg

good thing for the mask, huh?

[BeerRun]

I typed "angry old man" into Google images and got this:

http://spaightwoodgalleries.com/Media/Old_Masters/IDN/IDN_Angry_Man_signed.jpg

[Teenager]

Teen, you do realize what we may be setting ourselves up for?

Now that you mention it.....

[Logic]

When I think of doom, I picture some crazy old coot with a corn-cob pipe, a bottle of whiskey, and a crooked shotgun yelling at the 'puter screen and shootin' at 'possums.


That's just me though. :()

[Pendragon_6]

You just described me.
:hahaha:

[brilliantLiberal]

What you have to admire about DrDoom is the polite way he always treats those with whom he disagrees. Here are some examples:

Child, were you born that dense? Damn! Another 10% increase in density and you'll qualify as a singularity.

So do you ever actually think before posting?

Re dog and human zygotes, I know a lot of sons of bitches, but the term is rhetorical, not biological.

Under NO circumstances would I volunteer for that assignment. I'd sooner get a BJ from a rattlesnake.

That is rather like a skunk complaining about the odor of a fart. Foolish child, your clueless ilk routinely come and go here.

It must be a challenge to remain blissfully ignorant of reality in a world replete with information resources.

As for their debating "skill", it consists of chanting the standard "Darwin is God and I am his prophet!" mantras, mocking or ridiculing anyone whose lips are not surgically grafted to Chucky D's ass, and high-fiving each other about how oh-so-clever and witty they are. They wouldn't recognize real science if it came up behind them and punted their asses with a size 1000 boot

Liberal/atheist assholes can't lose gracefully. They MUST be right, even when they're so full of shit that their pupils look like sightglasses at the Hershey factory.

WTF kind of sick, degenerate sons of bitches will parade their sexual perversion down the streets of a city that is still reeling from a disaster? I say "mistake" the repugnant faggots for looters and machine-gun the lot of them. Then they can bring their "decadence" to hell, where it is appreciated.
Why does it not surprise me that TempestTot is defending the slut? ANYONE with 1000+ posts on DUh is a rabid leftist asshole. One must be reged at that sewer in order to search for member posts, and I refuse to sink to that depth, but I imagine that the whore's 1000+ posts reveal just another RAT android mindlessly running Loath-Bush/Hate-America v2.0.

I don't believe that shooting liberals is okay, but I don't want to "take away the freedom of those who engage in it."

Coexistence with cockroaches is not my idea of tolerance.

You cannot fathom the extent to which that knowledge elates me. To be the target of loathing by a gang of braindead heathen assholes is my calling in life.

Inasmuch as incarceration in lunatic asylums requires feeding and caring for them, that option is out. Nor do I support killing them outright unless provision is made for hazardous waste disposal of the corpses.

My solution is simple: tattoo "Allah rapes camels and eats pork chops!" on their foreheads and then airdrop them into Mecca during hajj.

Leftists are uniformly useless, mindless and soulless. They're parasites that need to be exterminated.

Kid, you are now a liar as well as a thief. You're a kindergarten drop-out, judging by the spelling and grammar in your posts on this and other boards...

[aaron11]

What you have to admire about DrDoom is the polite way he always treats those with whom he disagrees. Here are some examples:

Child, were you born that dense? Damn! Another 10% increase in density and you'll qualify as a singularity.

So do you ever actually think before posting?

Re dog and human zygotes, I know a lot of sons of bitches, but the term is rhetorical, not biological.

Under NO circumstances would I volunteer for that assignment. I'd sooner get a BJ from a rattlesnake.

That is rather like a skunk complaining about the odor of a fart. Foolish child, your clueless ilk routinely come and go here.

It must be a challenge to remain blissfully ignorant of reality in a world replete with information resources.

As for their debating "skill", it consists of chanting the standard "Darwin is God and I am his prophet!" mantras, mocking or ridiculing anyone whose lips are not surgically grafted to Chucky D's ass, and high-fiving each other about how oh-so-clever and witty they are. They wouldn't recognize real science if it came up behind them and punted their asses with a size 1000 boot

Liberal/atheist assholes can't lose gracefully. They MUST be right, even when they're so full of shit that their pupils look like sightglasses at the Hershey factory.

WTF kind of sick, degenerate sons of bitches will parade their sexual perversion down the streets of a city that is still reeling from a disaster? I say "mistake" the repugnant faggots for looters and machine-gun the lot of them. Then they can bring their "decadence" to hell, where it is appreciated.
Why does it not surprise me that TempestTot is defending the slut? ANYONE with 1000+ posts on DUh is a rabid leftist asshole. One must be reged at that sewer in order to search for member posts, and I refuse to sink to that depth, but I imagine that the whore's 1000+ posts reveal just another RAT android mindlessly running Loath-Bush/Hate-America v2.0.

I don't believe that shooting liberals is okay, but I don't want to "take away the freedom of those who engage in it."

Coexistence with cockroaches is not my idea of tolerance.

You cannot fathom the extent to which that knowledge elates me. To be the target of loathing by a gang of braindead heathen assholes is my calling in life.

Inasmuch as incarceration in lunatic asylums requires feeding and caring for them, that option is out. Nor do I support killing them outright unless provision is made for hazardous waste disposal of the corpses.

My solution is simple: tattoo "Allah rapes camels and eats pork chops!" on their foreheads and then airdrop them into Mecca during hajj.

Leftists are uniformly useless, mindless and soulless. They're parasites that need to be exterminated.

Kid, you are now a liar as well as a thief. You're a kindergarten drop-out, judging by the spelling and grammar in your posts on this and other boards...


DOOM!

Are you related to General George S. Patton buy any chance?:grin:

Great stuff, hall of fame material!:thumb:

[BeerRun]

Hey c'mon! That's not roasting, that's sucking up!

[PrezLeefun]

Hey if Dr. Doom weren't that honest no one would like him. (that is no one with a brain.)
And we all know liberals are thoughtless.

[Rink]

#1. Hey Doom do you work?? if so what kind of job ya do?

#2. Do you like it? and what was the best job you ever had, and #3. whats the job you most enjoyed?

#4. Doc Do you think Porcupines enjoy sex when mating?

#5. Doc who is YOUR hero that you admire and respect?

[Black Phoenix]

You creationist, liberal hating, anti abortion, Christian, conservative, over direct, Bush loving, Republican... Damn it, those are all compliments!:djd:


I HATE YOU!!!! I will find a reason for it some day!

(Who uses a comic book super villian as their online identity? Did you ever grow up? So, still having problems with the Fantastic Four? Still stuck in that dumb train station looking like a reject titanium statue?... No wonder he's not replying to this thread very often, must be awful hard to type.)

[Teenager]

I figured. . .

Doc?


(See, he is a wimp! :D)

[HomeschoolrsRUs]

Wake me up when the interesting stuff starts. http://www.freeconservatives.com/vb/images/icons/snore.gif

I don't think I would be very good at the "Roast." It's a lost art, IMHO. I remember watching all the Dean Martin Roasts, now THOSE were funny. To do it well, one must have at least a grain of truth within the humor, it must be biting, but not aggressively so, off-color is allowable, however, disgusting is not humor, and of course the mark should be of such caliber that the humor is not an assault but a reflection of the admiration s/he enjoys of his/her fellow roasters.

While I may think the Doc a wonderfully perfect target for such an endeavor, I doubt anyone will be able to do the art of Roasting justice on his behalf.

So Doc, I will appropriate some choice speach of anothers, as they most aportionally apply to his truly: :smirky:

He's the type who will cut your throat behind your back. - Leo Rosten
He may not always be right, but He's never wrong. - Samuel R. Goldwyn
He's not the kind of person who wears his heart up his sleeve. - Leo Rosten
That man is a real charmer, a regular Don Coyote. - Leo Rosten
One of the things you have to say for him: he doesn't mince his punches. - Leo Rosten

The Quotations Home Page - Miscellaneous Malapropisms- Series 8 (http://www.theotherpages.org/quote-08.html)


BTW, my FAVORITE roaster will always be Norm Crosby, :smirky:


Boy when I mess up I do it with style! Sorry Doc, I meant to quote your post, and ended up editing it instead, :icon126: (http://www.freeconservatives.com/vb/misc.php?do=getsmilies&wysiwyg=1&forumid=28#). Forgive me, sir -- PLEASE don't send the ocelots or the goons, PLEASE :crazy:!

[DoctorDoom]

I meant to quote your post, and ended up editing it instead ...Not your doing, gentle lady. I deleted it.

[Teenager]

Doc, how old are you?

[Wolfcounsel]

Let me begin by listing all the wonderful things the good Doctor has done for the internet. And then I'll finish by listing all the things that are true --

OH CRAP! I better run!:grin:

[Peachdiane]

Doom prefers blondes!! WTF is he thinking⁈⁈⁈

No offense to blondes of course! :D

[HomeschoolrsRUs]

Not your doing, gentle lady. I deleted it.

Whew! For minute there I thought you were gonna disappropriate myhttp://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:JRZVBzSR_2wJ:www.uk.pg.com/images/headAndShouldersPack_IL.jpg (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.uk.pg.com/images/headAndShouldersPack_IL.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.uk.pg.com/news/imageLibrary/personalAndBeauty.html&h=645&w=400&sz=34&tbnid=JRZVBzSR_2wJ:&tbnh=135&tbnw=83&hl=en&start=2&prev=/images%3Fq%3DHead%2B%2526%2BShoulders%26svnum%3D10 %26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26ie%3DUTF-8) http://www.freeconservatives.com/vb/images/icons/biggrin.gif

[Wolfcounsel]

Let me start over again. Doctor Doom is one of the most brilliant minds of the, what is this, the 21st century. He has single-handedly defeated almost to extinct --


DANG! The men in the white coats and butterfly nets found me again! Gotta run.

[Teenager]

I'm a blonde......

[Peachdiane]

You and Doom?? OK let me rephrase. He prefers blonde FEMALES. ;)

[Teenager]

You and Doom?? OK let me rephrase. He prefers blonde FEMALES. ;)


DANG IT!!

[dPrasse]

I'd roast him , but the Zeta Rays and the beams from the mind-control satellites are obviously very strong in my area .... I'm afraid to remove my tin hat ....

[aaron11]

Call out;


Sir Doom, Many people go through their lives believing they were born in the wrong era.

Q) Has this thought ever crossed your mind?

b) If so, what era do you think would be the best fit for you and what sort of life do you imagine for yourself in that era? Also, what would be one key factor that would be most important for you from one era to next?
c) If not, take a shot?
:smirky:

[dPrasse]

Aaaron ..Doom has been around for all of the Ages and eras .... he is never in the wrong era ....

[Peachdiane]

DANG IT!!

:hahaha:

:gar:

[aaron11]

Aaaron ..Doom has been around for all of the Ages and eras .... he is never in the wrong era ....


ooo000OOOO

Looks like i finally brought on our first roast post...:grin:

[Timberwolf]

Doc was old when dirt was young....LOL

[Nutrider99]

Perhaps I could answer a few questions you have about Dr. Doom.

Regarding his avatar, that IS his picture. The Dr. was horribly disfigured as a child in a freak spontaneous combustion incident with a manure spreader. That's the reason he is so adverse to all the flaming B.S. from the libs. It brings back bad memories.

Dr. Doom is the son of Glooman’ Doom and the lovely Meetcher Doom (often called Meetch). He was born in a hospital because he wanted to be with his mother, who was there at the time. Meetcher Doom breast fed her son for three months, but after that it simply hurt too much to boil the nipples. Like many of us, Dr. Doom never got over that abrupt change in his early life, and bottles and nipples became the focus of his post adolescent years.

When I first found out about the eight years Dr. Doom spent in high school I thought him a little slow. However, looking back at those years of budding womanhood I realized that I should have followed his example rather than wasting my time on college co-eds who had already learned that ingestion of testosterone had nothing to do with breast augmentation.

Dr. Doom attended the Fairbanks Alaska college. It’s was simply called F.AK college for short. When it became a university, they changed the abbreviation to FAK U. These days, when you hear Dr. Doom saying "FAK U" to some lib, he’s just being nostalgic.

Dr. Doom was "born again" when he was in his late thirties. According to his mother, it was more traumatic than boiling her nipples to breast feed him.

I am the absolute authority on Dr. Doom, having read at least a dozen of his posts. If there are any other questions about him that you may have, do not hesitate to ask me.

[nene]

When I first found out about the eight years Dr. Doom spent in high school I thought him a little slow. However, looking back at those years of budding womanhood I realized that I should have followed his example rather than wasting my time on college co-eds who had already learned that ingestion of testosterone had nothing to do with breast augmentation.
:hahaha:

[nene]

Dr. Doom was "born again" when he was in his late thirties. According to his mother, it was more traumatic than boiling her nipples to breast feed him.
SNORF!:hahaha:

[Pendragon_6]

:hahaha: :hahaha: :hahaha: :hahaha: :hahaha:

[Teenager]

Nutrider, dude! :hahaha:

[HomeschoolrsRUs]

http://www.freeconservatives.com/vb/images/icons/biglaugh.gifOkay Nut, you proved me wrong. I stand corrected, :smirky: . (Actually, I'm sitting, but that's irreverant http://www.freeconservatives.com/vb/images/icons/biggrin.gif )

[Teenager]

http://www.kutztownfestival.com/about/images/ox-roast.jpghttp://www.heart-health-diet.com/images/roast-chicken.jpg


Just roasting along....


Man, I'm hungry now.

[Nutrider99]

http://www.kutztownfestival.com/about/images/ox-roast.jpghttp://www.heart-health-diet.com/images/roast-chicken.jpg


Ok, to heck with the jokes. It's time to eat. Let us all join hands and thank God that were are NOT vegetarians.

[Nutrider99]

If there are any other questions about him that you may have, do not hesitate to ask me.
No takers?

[Peachdiane]

Ok, to heck with the jokes. It's time to eat. Let us all join hands and thank God that were are NOT vegetarians.

AMEN!!! :thumb:

[Nutrider99]

Hmmm. It would appear that this roast has concluded. Who should we roast next?

[Teenager]

Perhaps the ever-loving HMS? Or Wyatt? Or DF? Or the Warlady herself? Or you? Or Riverboat? Or Meat-eater Maggie? Mebbe our poster of month, PenDragon?

Take your pick.

[aaron11]

Damn Nut, your a funny f*ker...

:thumb:

[Nutrider99]

Perhaps the ever-loving HMS? Or Wyatt? Or DF? Or the Warlady herself? Or you? Or Riverboat? Or Meat-eater Maggie? Mebbe our poster of month, PenDragon?

Take your pick.
Warlady? Hmmm. Should we roast the warlady?

[dPrasse]

Warlady? Hmmm. Should we roast the warlady?

No Way ! That'd be sexist ! :thumb:

[Black Phoenix]

Roast me! C'mon, It'll be fun!

[aaron11]

No Way ! That'd be sexist ! :thumb:


Ouch...:boxer:

[whipped crème]

Do you have any children Doc?

[DoctorDoom]

Yep. And they're all right-wingers.

[Teenager]

LOL.
How many and how old are they?

[DoctorDoom]

Youngest is 23. And I'm a granddad five times over.

[dPrasse]

Youngest is 23. And I'm a granddad five times over.
Congrats !
is that 5x , as in 5 grandbabies or as in 5 generations ? :thumb:

[Teenager]

Youngest is 23. And I'm a granddad five times over.

HOLY SMOKES!!!

You weren't kidding when you said you're as old as dirt!


(Did I roast him?)

[DoctorDoom]

is that 5x , as in 5 grandbabies or as in 5 generations ?Five grandrugrats, one of whom just started high school.

[Trevelyan]

He, he's like old..............and stuff...

[Charity]

I really enjoy reading DoctorDoom's posts. :-)
I see him as a man who does not take garbage from any lib and I respect that very much. It's hard to roast someone as cool as DD. He's the lean, mean, lib killin machine.

[Geoffrey20005]

Hey DD, any of them single females, and if so are they cute? :D :) ;)
Its so hard to find a good conservative these days... :D

-Geo

[Beowulf]

Hey DD, any of them single females, and if so are they cute? :D :) ;)
Its so hard to find a good conservative these days... :D

-Geo

The Doc knows you too well. Do you really think he's going to fix you up with one of them? Of course, facing his wrath of DD wouldn't be fun at all.

[Peachdiane]

Hey DD, any of them single females, and if so are they cute? :D :) ;)
Its so hard to find a good conservative these days... :D

-Geo

Are you SURE?? Doom would most likely make you fill out this Application (http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Hills/3456/h_application.html) for permission to date his daughter/granddaughter. ;)
:patriot:

[DeclinetoState]

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER







<HR>




NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied
by a complete financial statement, job history, driving record, lineage, and
current certified medical report (including drug tests) from your doctor.

1. NAME _William Jefferson Clinton DATE OF BIRTH _August 19, 1946___

2. HEIGHT _6'2" WEIGHT 210_ I.Q _150_ G.P.A._4.0____

3. SOCIAL SECURITY # __Classified__ DRIVERS LICENSE #_None - use chauffeur

4. BOY SCOUT RANK_Yeah, I think they rank. Girl Scouts, on the other hand...

5. HOME ADDRESS _Up the road a piece CITY/STATE _Chappaqua, NY_ ZIP ___On my pants? It still works. Why?

6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?__Not anymore____

If No, EXPLAIN Dead___

7. Number of years your parents have been married __Does it still count if they're dead?____

8. Do you own a van? ___Yep___ A truck with oversized tires? __Nope____ A waterbed? __Been thinking about getting one of those things__

Do you have an earring, nose ring, belly button ring, or a tattoo? Not yet____

(If "yes" to any of #8, discontinue application and leave premises)

9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?_After 2 a.m. weeknights, 4 a.m. weekends. Why?_

10. In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?
_I dunno. She's got a rash?___

11. In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you? __Lay off the booze._(Guess Teddy Kennedy's out of the running here, right?)

12. Church you attend __ Baptist, Methodist(doesn't matter; it's the same God, right?) How often do you attend? __Whenever Jesse Jackson's preaching_

13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and priest/rabbi/minister? _Anytime Jesse's available (Mom and Dad are dead, you know)___

14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL answers are confidential (That means I won't tell anyone -ever- I promise.)

a) If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is_my penis_

b) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my _____ my nose_

c) A woman's place is in the (I'm taking no chances here) U.S. Senate_

d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is_marital status___

e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is her size__

( NOTE: If your answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue. Leave premises keeping your head low. Running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)

15. What do you want to be IF you grow up? The greatest ex-President of the United States.___

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT POKERS.

William J. Clinton, Esq.___________________________________
Signature (That means sign your name)

Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for
processing. You will be notified in writing if you are approved. Please do
not try to call or write. If you do attempt any communication before your application is approved, automatic disqualification will result.
If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases (You might want to watch your back).

Do you still want to date my daughter?:

__X__ Yes, please accept my application _____ I um, no, I uh, think I have the wrong house...

[DoctorDoom]

Hey DD, any of them single females, and if so are they cute?
Its so hard to find a good conservative these days...My daughters are married. My granddaughter isn't, but she might be a tad too young for you.

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v349/DocDoom777/Beth2.jpg" />

[Black Phoenix]

I'm trying, but I just can't see any resemblence...


http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2005-9/1084536/untitled.jpg


She's a lot prettier and a lot cuter. You're just kinda... ugly.
You sure she's yours?

(Why does everyone in your family always look so upset in pictures?)

[Black Phoenix]

well maybe if I....



http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2005-9/1084536/untitled66.jpg

Well, she does wear it better than you... but no, doesn't help, she's still too cute.

(Looks like now she can take care of herself!)

[DoctorDoom]

(Why does everyone in your family always look so upset in pictures?)They're conservatives, and there's not much to smile about these days. Still, to prove that they are not always dour ...

<center><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v349/DocDoom777/Beth.jpg"></center>

And I am indeed a proud granddad.

[Black Phoenix]

Hey, can we see the others? Course if they're boys, we may be able to guess from them what you look like!

[dPrasse]

And I am indeed a proud granddad.

ahhhhhhhhhh , watta cutie ! :thumb:

[grannygirl]

Hey Lib, at least he called me "lady" before he disagreed with me!

[Riverboat]

Why is it necessary to jump through a hoop, anyway? Didn't it used to be a separate thread that simply required the click of a mouse?
This isn't a roast, but a bouquet for the Doomster. Okay, I'm as shocked as the next old-timer, so let me explain. I was pulling hair out of my balding head trying to figure out how to get into the Flame War sub-forum so I could, well, flame the old boy some more on the thread about Israel and the Vatican. Problem was I could never find a way to get in. Suzie passed on my frustration to the one person, evidently, who could fix the problem. Voila! No more hoops! May the flames continue unabated!

[Bluemoon_Rising]

Originally Posted by Nutrider99 Dr. Doom was "born again" when he was in his late thirties. According to his mother, it was more traumatic than boiling her nipples to breast feed him.

Born again, eh? I'll take your word for it, Nutrider; obviously you've got the inside scoop. I would have never believed it otherwise; I mean, it just never occurred to me that Doc had ever been born at all. Doc as an infant? A toddler in short pants? A gawky teen? Nah. I've always assumed that he was instantly formed by the hand of God, fully grown and aged: a cranky, brooding, wizened old coot with fire in his eyes and thunderbolts flying from his fingertips, striking down leftist infidels with mere looks and devouring their corpses with a glass of merlot.

[DoctorDoom]

I've always assumed that he was instantly formed by the hand of God, fully grown and aged: a cranky, brooding, wizened old coot with fire in his eyes and thunderbolts flying from his fingertips, striking down leftists infidels with mere looks and devouring their corpses with a glass of merlot.Tch tch. That's an unwise revelation. Watch your driveway for a large, black, tinted-window limo, from which will emerge two fellows of questionable humanity. The larger of the two grunts to "Bruno". Note well the long bulges under their left arms. They are not caused by concealed French bread. :evilgrin:

[Bluemoon_Rising]

I am so warned.