Teenager
10-25-2005, 09:07 PM
MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME . .or maybe it was my sisters......anyway I certainly remember hearing most of these and applying some of them myself.......
1. My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."
4. My mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC:
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case
you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY:
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST:
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER:
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times... Don't
exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father."
15. My mother taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in
this world who don' have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION:
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about! RECEIVING:
"You are going to get it when you get home."
18. My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE:
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP:
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR:
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT:
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS:
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS:
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM:
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE:
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out to be just
like you."
1. My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."
4. My mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC:
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case
you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY:
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST:
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER:
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times... Don't
exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father."
15. My mother taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in
this world who don' have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION:
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about! RECEIVING:
"You are going to get it when you get home."
18. My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE:
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP:
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR:
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT:
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS:
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS:
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM:
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE:
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out to be just
like you."