DeclinetoState
10-28-2005, 10:44 AM
Hi, Mom & Dad,
Things are going well in college. I have a nice girlfriend. Her name is Salaam and she's from the Middle East. She's very modest, unlike some of the girls here. She always covers herself from head to toe in something that looks like a gunny sack. She calls it a burka. She's studying chemistry and political science, so she's very serious about her studies, but we do spend quality time together whenever possible. In fact, that's what I'm writing you about.
We're sharing an apartment, so she's also my roommate. Of course, as expensive as housing here is, we only have enough room for one bed, so we have to sleep together. Well, you can guess the rest. We're expecting a baby in about 8 months, so we need to get married ASAP. That's not a problem, except for her brothers--Abdul and Mohammad.
See, if she marries an infidel--meaning someone of my religion--she could be murdered. So I have decided to convert to Islam. That's no problem, except that I have to practice something called jihad to show my faith is real. So I'm going to have to head overseas for a few weeks before we get married. But they say it's not so bad in Baghdad right now, but they did suggest I write a will, just in case. So you'll be hearing from Kareem, their lawyer, in the next few days.
Oh, and one more thing. I have no girlfriend, and I'm not really converting to Islam. But I think you might be able to take the news better now that I'm getting a D+ in English lit and economics, and failing biology and German.
See ya soon!
Love,
Your son :D
Things are going well in college. I have a nice girlfriend. Her name is Salaam and she's from the Middle East. She's very modest, unlike some of the girls here. She always covers herself from head to toe in something that looks like a gunny sack. She calls it a burka. She's studying chemistry and political science, so she's very serious about her studies, but we do spend quality time together whenever possible. In fact, that's what I'm writing you about.
We're sharing an apartment, so she's also my roommate. Of course, as expensive as housing here is, we only have enough room for one bed, so we have to sleep together. Well, you can guess the rest. We're expecting a baby in about 8 months, so we need to get married ASAP. That's not a problem, except for her brothers--Abdul and Mohammad.
See, if she marries an infidel--meaning someone of my religion--she could be murdered. So I have decided to convert to Islam. That's no problem, except that I have to practice something called jihad to show my faith is real. So I'm going to have to head overseas for a few weeks before we get married. But they say it's not so bad in Baghdad right now, but they did suggest I write a will, just in case. So you'll be hearing from Kareem, their lawyer, in the next few days.
Oh, and one more thing. I have no girlfriend, and I'm not really converting to Islam. But I think you might be able to take the news better now that I'm getting a D+ in English lit and economics, and failing biology and German.
See ya soon!
Love,
Your son :D