The_Sonarman
11-08-2005, 07:26 AM
Fun Facts about Texas:
Despite the stereotype of Texans as wild-eyed pistol-wavers, not everyone in Texas owns a gun, because the ones who don't own a gun own several.
Texas was the largest state in the union until Alaska joined in 1959. They've been hungrily eyeballing Oklahoma ever since.
Texas was orginally settled by the French, but was soon ceded to Mexico after the colonists surrendered to a 10 year old boy named Miguel Sanchez.
What else could they do? He had a stick.
Because the incredible heat in Texas would melt ordinary asphalt, their highways there are covered with a protective coating of flattened armadilloes.
The Texas state tree is the Derrick.
In a fight between Aquaman and a Texan, Aquaman would wither and die from the desert heat before the Texan had time to throw a punch.
The same goes for pretty much anybody.
Although there are several species of poisonous snakes in Texas, they are not considered pests. Unlike Yankee tourists.
However, since Yankee tourists buy more souveniers than poisonous snakes, they are grudgingly tolerated and rarely hunted for sport.
California hippies being the obvious exception, although purists insist that these are not "true Yankees".
Although Texas is quite large, it is actually relatively sparsely populated. The entire population of Texas could theoretically be placed inside of a 20 square mile area. This is attempted every morning on the highways surrounding Dallas-Ft.Worth.
Not all Texans wear 10-gallon hats. Jewish Texans wear yarmulkes, and these are only 9.8 gallons for obscure religious reasons.
Texans subsist solely on a diet of incredibly hot things, such as chili, jalapeno peppers and the Swimsuit Issue of Sports Illustrated.
Not all Texans are steely-eyed cowboys who don't take crap from anybody, but if they want to be re-elected in 2004, they damn well better be.
Despite the stereotype of Texans as wild-eyed pistol-wavers, not everyone in Texas owns a gun, because the ones who don't own a gun own several.
Texas was the largest state in the union until Alaska joined in 1959. They've been hungrily eyeballing Oklahoma ever since.
Texas was orginally settled by the French, but was soon ceded to Mexico after the colonists surrendered to a 10 year old boy named Miguel Sanchez.
What else could they do? He had a stick.
Because the incredible heat in Texas would melt ordinary asphalt, their highways there are covered with a protective coating of flattened armadilloes.
The Texas state tree is the Derrick.
In a fight between Aquaman and a Texan, Aquaman would wither and die from the desert heat before the Texan had time to throw a punch.
The same goes for pretty much anybody.
Although there are several species of poisonous snakes in Texas, they are not considered pests. Unlike Yankee tourists.
However, since Yankee tourists buy more souveniers than poisonous snakes, they are grudgingly tolerated and rarely hunted for sport.
California hippies being the obvious exception, although purists insist that these are not "true Yankees".
Although Texas is quite large, it is actually relatively sparsely populated. The entire population of Texas could theoretically be placed inside of a 20 square mile area. This is attempted every morning on the highways surrounding Dallas-Ft.Worth.
Not all Texans wear 10-gallon hats. Jewish Texans wear yarmulkes, and these are only 9.8 gallons for obscure religious reasons.
Texans subsist solely on a diet of incredibly hot things, such as chili, jalapeno peppers and the Swimsuit Issue of Sports Illustrated.
Not all Texans are steely-eyed cowboys who don't take crap from anybody, but if they want to be re-elected in 2004, they damn well better be.