What women want most in a man

[dajoga]

It's not good looks, not money, but fidelity. 54% of women responding to a poll of 1,052 adults by Leger Marketing-Canadian Press said a "faithful partner" was most important in choosing a mate.

Faithful partner=54%
Respect for the other person's independence=40%
Ability to listen=35%
Physical attraction=13%
Good in bed=6%

Participant's were to choose the three they valued the most, so total's are more than 100%

Men chose:
Faithful partner=47%
Respect for the other person's independence=36%
Intelligence=35%
Physical attraction=26%
Good in bed=13%

So why do so many marriages fail? The high percentage of "respect for independence" might be the key. Good marriages aren't based on a 50/50 proposition, but a 100% willingness to give yourself to your partner. Asking my wife to respect my indepencence is showing my selfishness and selfishness is the burr under the saddle of any marriage.

My source is a pop-up window in Netscape but I can't figure out how to copy it to this post. Sorry.

[CaliGirl]

[ QUOTE ]
So why do so many marriages fail? The high percentage of "respect for independence" might be the key. Good marriages aren't based on a 50/50 proposition, but a 100% willingness to give yourself to your partner. Asking my wife to respect my indepencence is showing my selfishness and selfishness is the burr under the saddle of any marriage.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't know why so many failed marriages either. Maybe couples don't want to work out their problems, but would rather get a divorce instead. They don't take their marriage vows serious is the reason for divorces.

OR

We can blame Hollywood for failed marriages. Just look at all of their personal lives, and what they characterize on TV shows.

I would like to see a study of divorces back in the 1950s to see if TV was an influence on couples getting a divorce.

[JonECat]

[ QUOTE ]
We can blame Hollywood for failed marriages. Just look at all of their personal lives, and what they characterize on TV shows.



[/ QUOTE ]

Sounds like the typical PC liberal-speak of blame everybody but yourself. God forbid someone should take responsibility for their own actions.

[CaliGirl]

[ QUOTE ]
JonECat2002 said:
[ QUOTE ]
We can blame Hollywood for failed marriages. Just look at all of their personal lives, and what they characterize on TV shows.



[/ QUOTE ] Sounds like the typical PC liberal-speak of blame everybody but yourself. God forbid someone should take responsibility for their own actions.

[/ QUOTE ]

I am as far from a PC lib as I am God! I was referring to Hollywood because they tend to influence the American public on their lives and the TV shows. I am in CA, and see and hear more than those who don't live here. You are right, most don't take responsibility for their own actions because that is how Hollywood characterizes life. I am not here to say don't blame the couples for divorces. What I am saying the influence of Hollywood in my opinion is influencing what couples don't do to make their marriage right.

[dajoga]

There's plenty of blame to go around but obviously the main problem is with the couple themselves. But, speaking as a male, I agree with Gary Smalley who says that any marriage that goes down after 5 years is usually the husband's fault. He bases that on the biblical command for "husbands love your wives." If men loved their wives in the biblical sense, their wives would respond positively to that b/c that's a female desire.
But most men don't know how to be a real man and love their wife b/c their daddy didn't teach them.

My marriage has weathered many storms b/c God is more important to my wife that I am, and He is more important to me than my wife is. That's the only foundation that can guarrantee a great marriage.

[Wyatt_Junker]

My marriage has weathered many storms b/c God is more important to my wife that I am, and He is more important to me than my wife is. That's the only foundation that can guarrantee a great marriage.

Excellent and well said. Very true.

[blakjaque shelac]

I don't know, dgauw. Here are few divorces I have personally seen:

* While on holiday together in her native country, she gets pregnant and refuses to return to the States, their home for the last 8 years. He stays with her, but is unhappy at having been trapped, and she eventually demands a divorce.

* He is a labourer when they meet. They marry and for the next 5 years he breaks his back trying to better his economic position. Despite his sugestions she refuses to work. She meets a weel-to-do man and leaves her husband, taking their children with her.

* After 6 years and two kids, she mentions to her sister-in-law that she misses the old days of carousing. She has an affair witha co-worker, the sex is great, and one day the husband comes home to find her, the kids, teh furniture all gone, moved to the new guy's house.

*Three kids and ten years into the marriage, one day she disappears completely. A year later he gets a message from her. She's been "finding herself" in California, wants a divorce, the kids, and half the value of his business.

But if you ask any of these women (I have), they'll tell you it was all his fault, she had no other choice but to make the decision he was too weak to make. This is what they tell themselves to avoid the truth - they were just as irresponsible, selfish and un-committed as the stereotype of men they love to promote.

[DesertFox]

Excellent response, jacques.

[nosferatuscoffin]

A few reasons for the quadrupling of the divorce rate since 1970.

Radical Feminism

Sexual Revolution (Goes hand in hand with the above)

Entertaimment (TV and Movies)

The biggest reason, by far though, was the start of no-fault divorce, introduced in the 1970's. It is no coincedence that that is when the divorce rate started jumping of the scale. When getting a divorce nowadays as is easy as applying for a credit card, it is no wonder a lot more people do so.

Nos

[**DONOTDELETE**]

[ QUOTE ]
dgauw said:
My marriage has weathered many storms b/c God is more important to my wife that I am, and He is more important to me than my wife is. That's the only foundation that can guarrantee a great marriage.

[/ QUOTE ]

<font color="green">AMEN dgauw! When a husband and wife love God more than they love even each other, their marriage cannot help but be strong. It's like the difference between two ropes being twisted together versus three ropes braided together. Which do you think is going to stay intact longer?</font> /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif

[jag]

Fidelity would be the most important because, imo, when things are bad, by deciding not to give into the temptation to seek comfort elsewhere is a deciding factor to your committment to eachother. When one cheats, it creates a huge crater of insecurities in the other that can't be completely healed. Forgive maybe but not healed.

[Human_Error]

The ideal man is strong yet gentle, powerful yet sensitive, has a great career yet helps clean the house and helps raise the children, in control yet cries, and a sex expert who's only been with one woman. Uh huh.....lets see a show of hands!

Come on guys....are any of you ideal????? LOL

[Radical-Conservative]

[ QUOTE ]
Human_Error said:
The ideal man is strong yet gentle, powerful yet sensitive, has a great career yet helps clean the house and helps raise the children, in control yet cries, and a sex expert who's only been with one woman. Uh huh.....lets see a show of hands!

Come on guys....are any of you ideal????? LOL


[/ QUOTE ]
Not me

[Human_Error]

I bet you are some of those huh?

[Radical-Conservative]

[ QUOTE ]
Human_Error said:
I bet you are some of those huh?

[/ QUOTE ]
Nope

[Human_Error]

Okay...I can see where ya might not have a great career or helpsclean the house or help raise the children, BUT...

Strong yet gentle, powerful yet sensitive?

[Radical-Conservative]

[ QUOTE ]
Human_Error said:
Okay...I can see where ya might not have a great career or helpsclean the house or help raise the children, BUT...

Strong yet gentle, powerful yet sensitive?

[/ QUOTE ]

No no and no

[Solid]

LOL to the previous chit-chat post.
Human_Error, could you be looking for a man?


From what I hear from women they do prize fidelity the most.

[Human_Error]

HA HA.....well....whats wrong with LOOKING AT MEN?

And my mama told me don't ever be chosen you do the choosing! LOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Actually I just think Radical-Conservative is either hard on himself or is going to be revealing what adjectives describe him best.

Inquiring minds want to know !!!! LOOOOOOOOOOOOL

[Solid]

Human_Error, you seem like a cool person.

[Human_Error]

[ QUOTE ]
Solid said:
Human_Error, you seem like a cool person.

[/ QUOTE ]

Awwwwwwwwwwwww http://freeconservatives.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/limp.gif

Well I really am your FairyGodMother http://www.jobhuntersbible.com/images/fairygodmother.jpg

[jag]

[ QUOTE ]
Human_Error said:
The ideal man is strong yet gentle, powerful yet sensitive, has a great career yet helps clean the house and helps raise the children, in control yet cries, and a sex expert who's only been with one woman. Uh huh.....lets see a show of hands!

Come on guys....are any of you ideal????? LOL


[/ QUOTE ]

LOL..May I make some suggestions? Put great career first, keep strong yet gentle, powereful's cool but not too sensitive, lets me be in control and skip the crying. Helps clean the house sure but remembers I'm raising the children, but he can help if he listens. The rest, well, he had BETTER be faithful. http://freeconservatives.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon129.gif

[rbisrb2]

I AM the ideal husband,

Conservative, shake the glass when I need a refill of iced Tea; married my dishwasher, never have to worry about finding my underwear; it is always in the top right drawer, the clothes always get into the hamper from the front door; my steak is always prepared just right and steaming on the table; and when I say something she always answers with "yes master"!

LOL, and if you believe that, I have some desert property to sell you here in wisconsin.

P.S. Don't tell the wifey I've been mouthing off again! ;)

[Human_Error]

I like that Jag.....LOOOOOL
Do you like the TV series Jag?????


Oh and BTW rbisrb2 NOW I have SOMETHING to blackmail ya with if you ever get out of line! *twirls hair*

[rbisrb2]

lol! http://freeconservatives.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif that was not LoL it was me with my hands up!

[Human_Error]

Okay......Okay.....Hold still.....

http://www.zsuzsanna.com/images/camera.jpg

Got It!

I love pictures of men that look guilty of something. LOL

[jag]

jag are my husbands initials, and as close to a Jaguar as I am ever going to get..... so much for what women want most




http://freeconservatives.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jk.gif

[rbisrb2]

Now THATS funny.

[Human_Error]

LOOOOOL
Well Jag.......So you took his name and initials for better or worse......so you tell me.....what did he take from you?

[Human_Error]

http://www.shaniatwainexpress.com/images/shania_home_pic.jpg

This this what a woman wants...

Any man of mine better be proud of me
Even when I'm ugly he still better love me
And I can be late for a date that's fine
But he better be on time

Any man of mine'll say it fits just right
When last year's dress is just a little too tight
And anything I do or say better be okay
When I have a bad hair day

And if I change my mind
A million times
I wanna hear him say
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I like it that way

Chorus:
Any man of mine better walk the line
Better show me a teasin' squeezin 'pleasin' kinda time
I need a man who knows, how the story goes
He's gotta be a heartbeatin' fine treatin'
Breathtakin' earthquakin' kind
Any man of mine

Well any man of mine better disagree
When I say another woman's lookin' better than me
And when I cook him dinner and I burn it black
He better say, mmmm, I like it like that yeah

And if I change my mind
A million times
I wanna hear him say
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I like it that way

(Chorus)

Let me hear you say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I like it that way

(Chorus)

You gotta shimmy, shake
Make the earth quake
Kick, turn, stomp, stomp, then you jump
Heel to toe, Do Si Do
'Til your boots wanna break
'Til your feet and your back ache
Keep it movin' 'til you just can't take anymore
Come on everybody on the floor
A-one two, a-three four
Hup two, hup
If you wanna be a man of mine, that's right
This is what a woman wants...

[jag]

http://freeconservatives.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon126.gif

[rbisrb2]

Yeah, and a REAL man wants to HEAR a REAL voice sing at the Super Bowl, not a recording and lip singing! Gegone faker!

http://freeconservatives.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[Peachdiane]

[ QUOTE ]
I don't know why so many failed marriages either. Maybe couples don't want to work out their problems, but would rather get a divorce instead. They don't take their marriage vows serious is the reason for divorces.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hi Girl!!! http://freeconservatives.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Could be, or.... one spouse just completely destroys the other's love and faith. You know, dreams and thoughts put down by little needling comments and guilt trips. Being generally ignored unless it affects the spouse directly. That kind of pain is impossible to recover from enough to ever trust that person enough to rebuild a marriage on.

Trying to work it out, in many cases, it's just "too little, too late."

[CaliGirl]

[ QUOTE ]
Peachdiane said:
[ QUOTE ]
I don't know why so many failed marriages either. Maybe couples don't want to work out their problems, but would rather get a divorce instead. They don't take their marriage vows serious is the reason for divorces.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hi Girl!!! http://freeconservatives.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Could be, or.... one spouse just completely destroys the other's love and faith. You know, dreams and thoughts put down by little needling comments and guilt trips. Being generally ignored unless it affects the spouse directly. That kind of pain is impossible to recover from enough to ever trust that person enough to rebuild a marriage on.

Trying to work it out, in many cases, it's just "too little, too late."


[/ QUOTE ]

http://freeconservatives.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/offtopic1.gif

Hey Peach! We have really missed you around here. http://freeconservatives.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/patriot.gif Hope to see you soon! http://freeconservatives.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon16.gif

[LadyHawk108]

Peach,
Only someone speaking from experience could have expressed that so well. That was my life. Then he decided there was nothing better than getting hammered and hanging out at strip clubs. After 3 years of living in separate bedrooms, we divorced. Granted, I am not perfect either, but sometimes it's just better to go your separate ways. The last thing I wanted was for my son to grow up thinking our relationship was normal.

[DesertFox]

[ QUOTE ]
Human_Error said:
The ideal man is strong yet gentle, powerful yet sensitive, has a great career yet helps clean the house and helps raise the children, in control yet cries, and a sex expert who's only been with one woman. Uh huh.....lets see a show of hands!

Come on guys....are any of you ideal????? LOL


[/ QUOTE ]

No comment. It's unseemly to boast. http://freeconservatives.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif

[blakjaque shelac]

Problem is that word "women" - as in all women.

My personal experience has been :

One woman loves a steady stream of physical affection and would be happy to make love every day, at least once. She wants a sensual man with a libido. Another feels her independence is threatened by constant hand holding, and more than twice a week = you're obsessed and only interested in sex. She wants a more 'cool' man.

One woman enjoys cooking, and gets the same personal satisfaction from baking an exceptional dessert as I get from building something in my workshop. She wants a man who lets it be known he's happy to help but is also just as happy to contribute in teh workshop while she's in the kitchen and then shower her with praise for her work. Another never learned to cook as part of her agenda to prove she's noone's servant. She wants Emerril, live.

One woman is sporty, fit, &amp; adventurous yet accepting of a man's larger size and strength. She wants a sporty, fit man who'll share adventures with her, all the while treating her like the lady she knows how to be. Another is jsut as sporty and fit, but out to prove something. She wants the Relic Hunter's sidekick. (Although secretly she wants a man of men who helps her prove she's as good as all men except him.) And yet another woman thinks being fit is nice, but only as a second priority and only in the gym, and thinks anyone who spends more than a half hour per week on their health is a fanatic. She wants a genetically engineered athlete who looks great without exercise.

One woman is bright, curious and intelligent and wants a man who challenges her with thought provoking conversation. Another is too practical to waste time on dreamers who want to debate philosophy.

One woman is proud to be even tempered, sensible, reasonable, objective, and wants a man who demands that of her and returns it in kind. Another is self-centred and thought "Any Man of Mine" was to be taken seriously, and wants a puppy dog. More than once sensible women have pointed out to me other women who were obviously, at least obvious to other women, control freaks.

One woman finds a compromise on home cleanliness is fair and wants a man who'll also compromise. Another feels assertiveness means demanding that only her definition of clean be adhered to, and wants a man who'll conform. Yet another feels that emancipation means she never cleans at all, and wants a man who'll either live in squalor or do it all.

And most days I thank God that I found "One woman" from amongst the sea of "others".

[LadyHawk108]

Awww, black jack gets the women's vote for Poster of the Month!!!!

[DesertFox]

Good rundown, blakjaque. What you encountered is just what I encountered.

But finally getting it right -- getting the right one -- was worth it.

[freedom-man]

the number one cause for divorces is money problems

[HarvickFan29]

I've read all the repsonses and while I was being entertained, I was thinking there isn't just ONE reason for divorce in any marriage. If that were true, more often than not, they could work it out. I've seen couples work out more than one major marriage conflict.

I think when women started working outside the home, coupled with women's lib, is when divorce numbers starting rising. Anyone else agree?

[HarvickFan29]

BTW, what women want the most is really someone who thinks what they say matters. It is important to the man what she's saying, and he's listening instead of just watching her mouth move.

[DesertFox]

Good, cuz that's exactly what men want in women.

Well, that and something else. http://freeconservatives.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[dPrasse]

[ QUOTE ]
DesertFox said:
Good, cuz that's exactly what men want in women.

Well, that and something else. http://freeconservatives.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

yes! he he he.....

i wonder if the "marriage rate " is too high .too many folks getting hooked up for convenience or peer pressure , or just plain lust ?

if folks took the time to actually find a partner that "compliments " themselves , much grief would be eliminated .....

a friend of mine says " Opposites attract , then they attack " .....

I learned this the hard way ..... 18 years of constant back biting , no support ...... http://freeconservatives.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon1.gif http://freeconservatives.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon3.gif
wore me out ..... and i was faithful thru the worst of times , too ..gained me nothing ........ my prob was/is the family farm .... she was not interested in becoming a farmwife .....(and , yes , i have been a farmer all of my life ...itis not a mid-life crisis "dave wants to go live like a hillbilly " ... but a family farm needs a "farmfamily" ..oneword , not a family that happens to live on a farm ....

i wonder if any stats are available for self-employed family business divorces compared to factory job family divorces ...
being self employed takes a lot of faith and vision .if one partner does not have the "leap of faith" or the same visions .it is not pretty .....

dP

[Maggie_T]

What women want in a man?

I found everything I wanted in MY man. http://freeconservatives.com/smilies/pcheerleader.gif

He loves me in spite of, more than because of. <font size=1>Very important, in my temperamental case</font size=1>

He thinks I'm still young and beautiful. http://freeconservatives.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif

He treats me like royalty.

He listens.

He's extremely clever, intelligent and knowledgeable.

He's always there for me.

He's infinitely reliable.

He's always in a good mood (don't ask me how he manages it; it's a gift).

He's a tower of strength.

Ect., etc., etc.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and wipe the slobber off my face. http://freeconservatives.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon129.gif http://freeconservatives.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[dPrasse]

Maggie ,
your hubby sounds like my twin http://freeconservatives.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon129.gif

the always in a good mood ....too funny ....
that was a complaint wifey had about me ! Nothing got me down . I was overly optimistic ....I must not care about (insert daily crisis here) ........
instead of reassuring , my attitude annoyed the hell outta her .....which after awhile , became a good reason to be up http://freeconservatives.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon129.gif

[Maggie_T]

dPrasse, I NEVER complain about hubby being in a good mood. If I have any complaints they're all directed at myself for not being like him.

A person with a sunny mood is nothing to complain about! Tell your wife I said that.