Riverboat
03-19-2003, 08:30 AM
This is a topic for those old enough to remember the last time rock music entertainers, such as the Beatles, wore suits and actually bowed to the audience, NOT the teaser opening for Jenny Jones with "trailer trash" trying to out-insult, out-gross, out-rage each other's former spouse/friend/lover/animal to rip out their tonsils or rip off their clothes.
I thought of this when I looked over my vinyl record collection. Some were pretty good "back when," but after 20- 25 years, would be more suitable as coasters. Really big coasters. We're talking about albums, not CDs, after all.
Here are a few:
Seals and Crofts - Most have heard Summer Breeze . Every graduating class of my era adopted We Shall Never Pass This Way Again. By the time seniors removed their tassels from rearview mirrors and put them in shoeboxes with the prom and graduation invitations, they realized - Och! They look goofy and sound goofy. Seals and Crofts belonged to the Ba'hais, an offshoot of Islam. After the fall of the Shah, the Shi'ites took control of Iran and started hanging the Ba'hais. Maybe they weren't Seals and Crofts fans.
America - America! A trio clad in pantywaist, sings of Thee!
Neil Young - the most excruciatingly nasal, whiny voice north of the Canadian border. His sloping brow always gave him a Neanderthal appearance which was mistaken for a deep-thinking stare by other Neanderthals of that age. My slope has corrected itself with age, but poor Neil still looks like he's challenged with the buttons on his coat. And he's still whining about it.
Crosby, Stills and Nash - Steve Stills was one of the greatest guitar players ever. Graham Nash blended in some beautiful harmonies. Then there's David Crosby - Ted Kennedy without the mustache. Or a manatee in a buffalo jacket. Say what you will about Ted--and I've said plenty -but if any woman is gonna carry his offspring, by golly, she's gonna carry it the good ol' Kennedy way. Forget the turkey basters or rock music screechers who might be hiding a pair of sharp scissors under a plaid flannel shirt.
They appeared on the Tonight Show With Jay Leno, along with John McCain, another legendary self-embarrasser. But he was a Vietnam War P.O.W. So imagine my chagrin hearing them say, "We were trying to get your a** out of Vietnam." Where's the Ohio National Guard when you really need them?
The Neil Diamond of Tin Pan Alley days wrote some of the best songs of all time: Kentucky Woman, Shiloh, Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show, to name a few. You've heard Red, Red Wine with a Reggae beat? His. Been done. Same with I'm A Believer. Twice.
Neil Diamond had crazy crossover appeal. Pop and country, young and old. He connects with the audience the way Rosie O'Donnell connects with Krispy Kremes. He LOVES those people. But somewhere along the way, Brother Neil took to grunting and groaning his songs, as if he were singing while pushing a car.
The last I heard, Brother Neil released a CD of love songs, including And I Love Her. It was worse than Muzak. If teacher inservice had a theme song, this would be it.
Frank Zappa - Talented, iconoclastic, innovative. I still love Burnt Weeny Sandwich, and the crux of the biscuit is still the Apostrophe . But weirdness only takes you so far.
I thought of this when I looked over my vinyl record collection. Some were pretty good "back when," but after 20- 25 years, would be more suitable as coasters. Really big coasters. We're talking about albums, not CDs, after all.
Here are a few:
Seals and Crofts - Most have heard Summer Breeze . Every graduating class of my era adopted We Shall Never Pass This Way Again. By the time seniors removed their tassels from rearview mirrors and put them in shoeboxes with the prom and graduation invitations, they realized - Och! They look goofy and sound goofy. Seals and Crofts belonged to the Ba'hais, an offshoot of Islam. After the fall of the Shah, the Shi'ites took control of Iran and started hanging the Ba'hais. Maybe they weren't Seals and Crofts fans.
America - America! A trio clad in pantywaist, sings of Thee!
Neil Young - the most excruciatingly nasal, whiny voice north of the Canadian border. His sloping brow always gave him a Neanderthal appearance which was mistaken for a deep-thinking stare by other Neanderthals of that age. My slope has corrected itself with age, but poor Neil still looks like he's challenged with the buttons on his coat. And he's still whining about it.
Crosby, Stills and Nash - Steve Stills was one of the greatest guitar players ever. Graham Nash blended in some beautiful harmonies. Then there's David Crosby - Ted Kennedy without the mustache. Or a manatee in a buffalo jacket. Say what you will about Ted--and I've said plenty -but if any woman is gonna carry his offspring, by golly, she's gonna carry it the good ol' Kennedy way. Forget the turkey basters or rock music screechers who might be hiding a pair of sharp scissors under a plaid flannel shirt.
They appeared on the Tonight Show With Jay Leno, along with John McCain, another legendary self-embarrasser. But he was a Vietnam War P.O.W. So imagine my chagrin hearing them say, "We were trying to get your a** out of Vietnam." Where's the Ohio National Guard when you really need them?
The Neil Diamond of Tin Pan Alley days wrote some of the best songs of all time: Kentucky Woman, Shiloh, Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show, to name a few. You've heard Red, Red Wine with a Reggae beat? His. Been done. Same with I'm A Believer. Twice.
Neil Diamond had crazy crossover appeal. Pop and country, young and old. He connects with the audience the way Rosie O'Donnell connects with Krispy Kremes. He LOVES those people. But somewhere along the way, Brother Neil took to grunting and groaning his songs, as if he were singing while pushing a car.
The last I heard, Brother Neil released a CD of love songs, including And I Love Her. It was worse than Muzak. If teacher inservice had a theme song, this would be it.
Frank Zappa - Talented, iconoclastic, innovative. I still love Burnt Weeny Sandwich, and the crux of the biscuit is still the Apostrophe . But weirdness only takes you so far.