Man severs own penis, throws it at officers

[EveningStar]

Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.

Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody...
More (http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-ouch17.html)

[DeclinetoState]

Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.


So I guess Fik will be able to f*** again someday?

Fik, meet Lorena Bobbitt.

[Native American]

Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.

One can only hope they sewed it back on rotated 90 degrees. The guy sounds like he probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference...

[brilliantLiberal]

Quote:
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=6 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt2 style="BORDER-RIGHT: 1px inset; BORDER-TOP: 1px inset; BORDER-LEFT: 1px inset; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px inset">Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.

Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody...
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

Fik was later charged with assault with a dead weapon.

[Charity]

Fik was later charged with assault with a dead weapon.<!-- / message -->

LOL

[Rink]

Why bother re-attaching it? He may try and cut it off again, so its OBVIOUS he doesnt want his penis so.... re-attaching it would be construed as 'cruel and unusual punishment' I should think.

[Riverboat]

Surely ol' Hef could use a new one. He's got the money for it.

[DoctorDoom]

Did Dick Tracy catch it?

[Republican_Legion]

Why bother re-attaching it? He may try and cut it off again, so its OBVIOUS he doesnt want his penis.

If he dont want it then maybe Rosie O'donnel or Ellen Degeneres will offer him some money for it. lol

[Riverboat]

I'm pretty sure if I became mad enough to cut THAT off, it'd be someone else's.

[DeclinetoState]

After he cut off his penis, the docs should have pumped him up with some estrogen and bought him a nice dress. He could have then run for the US Senate as a Democrat . . . and joined some others like him--if you know what I mean.

[brilliantLiberal]

After he cut off his penis, the docs should have pumped him up with some estrogen and bought him a nice dress. He could have then run for the US Senate as a Democrat . . . and joined some others like him--if you know what I mean.
He severed his penis, not his testicles.

[DeclinetoState]

How do you know that the female Senate Democrats (some of them, at least) don't have testicles?

[DeclinetoState]

He severed his penis, not his testicles.

Is this story (http://www.thisislondon.com/news/articles/16449119?source=PA) from last year more to your liking, bL?


8 February 2005

A Welsh rugby fan cut off his own testicles after his team beat England, police confirmed today.

The man was rushed to hospital after the incident at Leigh Social Club in Caerphilly, South Wales.

A Gwent Police spokeswoman said: "We received a call from the ambulance service at approximately 9pm on the 5th to inform us of a situation at the Leigh Social Club in which a man had indeed severed his own testicles."

Who knows what he would have cut off had his team lost?

[Riverboat]

I heard Desert Fox say he'd have to use a chain saw to cut his off.

[DoctorDoom]

The Texans are of course the epitomes of masculinity.

A Texan buys a round of drinks for all in the bar because, he announces, his wife has just produced "a typical Texas" baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of WOW!" were heard.

Two weeks later, he returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, you're the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answers, "seventeen pounds"

The bartender is puzzled. "Why? What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds at birth."
The Texas father takes a slow swig from his long-neck Lone Star beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans toward the bartender and proudly says, "Had him circumcised."

[Incident_command]

Any guy that would cut off his own crank needs to be put away for a long time. If you'll cut of yer own crank what would you do think this guy would be capable of doing to others.

[DesertFox]

"Go Fik yourself, officer."

[DeclinetoState]

Why is it that this thread as well as the one I started about the German who couldn't get flaccid have gotten so much . . . attention? Does this reflect on some of our innate fears or, uh, preoccupations?

[DesertFox]

Nope. Sex is interesting.

Actually, it's engrossing.

Well, really, it's deeply fascinating.