The Sig Gallery

[Wyatt_Junker]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v625/wyattjunker/dr-phil.jpg

“Folks, let’s get real. I want to get down where you live. Are you hearing me? Tonight I am going to raise the roof and take you to a whole new level. Its time to put some pep in your step. Its time to wake up America<ST1:p</ST1:p!
<O:p</O:p
Men, can I be honest with you? Is that okay? Listen, I want you to put down the remote and pick up your wife’s hand. Women, I want you to put down the Ding Dongs and stop living out of the pantry. Eat a big bowl of joy instead. It will fill you up. Kids, its okay to hump your teddy bear. Explore those feelings.
<O:p</O:p
I want to really focus on self-esteem tonight. Folks, hear me out. You don't need a reason to get it on with your office secretary. Heck, bone the hired help! You don't need a supreme court decision to eat beans and franks off your wife's back. Just do it. And you don’t need a diploma to jerk off in a karaoke bar.
<O:p</O:p
Folks, life is too short when you’re 5 foot 5. Get in touch with your inner giant, short shit. And be bold. Learn to live life every second of the day. Laugh. Have fun. Vandelize public property. That’s what life is all about.”

[Wyatt_Junker]

The marketing of Jessica’s poo.

http://www.repubblica.it/2003/e/gallerie/spettacoliecultura/jessica-simpson/esterne041955030404195750_big.jpg

‘It is our only option left. We have completely explored every part of her body externally. All that is left to exploit is her liver, small intestine and shit’ said her marketing director and agent Phillip Adams. He went further, ‘We have tried other options; attaching royalties to the sweat glands, freezing uric acid samples, tapping into the lining of her mucous membranes and mining the pus of lanced boils, but so far only poo has generated enough interest.’
<O:p</O:p
‘Indeed, it is the most lucrative’ said dietician and chef Wolfgang Puck. ‘There is absolutely no money in runny shit. My aim, as well as the aim of my colleagues, is to produce wonderful potency yet firm piles. This is only the beginning and with Jessica we have a great poster child for this new trend of inner sexy.’

[Wyatt_Junker]

http://www.cinematical.com/images/2005/10/georgeclooney22.jpg

Hello America, I'm George Clooney, the sexiest man of the year! And I want to tell you about the power of reading. Its good for all kinds of kids. Even dumb ones. It helps them pronunseate words and stuff. So, take the Skoal pouch out of your lips, you sickening parents, and turn off the tube and just pick up a book and read with your kids! Anything will do; Pink Floyd liner notes, old DOS manuals, Hustler. It doesn't matter. The important thing is that you're spending time with your kids.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v625/wyattjunker/know.jpg

[Wyatt_Junker]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v625/wyattjunker/madonna_185.jpg
A joint resolution was passed today that would set aside funds to drill new holes into Madonna. All of her other holes have been used up and are currently bone dry. Members of Congress from both parties issued statements regarding the severity of what’s at stake. ‘We cannot simply ignore our dependency on foreign goo any longer.’ Former President Bill Clinton was even more direct, ‘I believe Madonna has what it takes to heal this nation in this time of crisis.’ Project Corndog will get underway as soon Congress convenes back into session after the January break.
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[Wyatt_Junker]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v625/wyattjunker/geraldo_rivera.jpg
The man is just an afterthought really, like foreskin on a pecker, the pink eraser on the end of a pencil, rubbery attaché. You don’t think about the eraser when you envision a pencil, you think about the graphite lead tip.

What use is Geraldo without his face pubes? Its parasitic. The mustache has taken over completely much like the symbiot’s victims in Spiderman. It has its own agent, accountant and mistress. At this point, his flesh is just the organism that feeds the overgrown jungle knot, his body, a wasting host.

It’s a complete subdivision for all things without a home; a corn kernel landing mat, a runaway booger catcher, a kind of facial dustpan. Its all there; car keys, the remote, abductees. Everything, trapped, just above Mr. Rivera’s upper lip in the hellish storm.
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[Pendragon_6]

Coffee, nose, keyboard.


:hahaha: :hahaha: :hahaha: :hahaha: :hahaha: :hahaha: :hahaha:

[Wyatt_Junker]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v625/wyattjunker/couric2.jpg

The new 125 horsepower Couric Land Mover comes with a new retractable breakaway bucket and new forks for crazy ass biting power! The tremendous jaw load per scoop can handle as much as 3 yards of material thanks to the amazing underbite techonology! It can erase any conversation within a 20 foot radius in just under 2 minutes. Careful with the hydros though as she has been known to take a shit on steep inclines.

[HomeschoolrsRUs]

Wyatt, I think you're missing one . . . what about Brad-gelina and the "baby"?

http://www.frogengine.net/images/brad-angelina.jpg

[Wyatt_Junker]

Wyatt, I think you're missing one . . . what about Brad-gelina and the "baby"?

http://www.frogengine.net/images/brad-angelina.jpg


YES!

I will run this through central intelligence and see what I can do. Its perfect!

However, I can make no promises.

[Human_Error]

Ha Ha Wyatt, I had forgotten how hard you could make me laugh!
YOU are a riot!

[Wyatt_Junker]

Where you been?

[Wyatt_Junker]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v625/wyattjunker/tom_bergeron.jpg
Welcome to AFV Classics! Al Jazeera's Funniest Home Videos of some of the best terror bloopers out there. If you thought 9/11 was a joke, then just wait till our beheadings-gone-awry $100,000 finalists mishandle their cutlery. We've got it all from klutzy head sawing goofs to suicide bombers who get caught by the IDF! HAHAHA There's nothing funnier than the look on their faces when they realize they're wearing a dud or their fuse goes out.

In the meantime, enjoy some of our other previously viewed slapstick like next week's hilarious porn bloopers and the AM/PM mini mart armed robbery gag reel, with extra pistol whipping outtakes. <!-- / sig -->

[Wyatt_Junker]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v625/wyattjunker/img_20051109T011513718.jpg
I want to give birth to your giant within. Take you out to dinner, a movie, laser tag. Then, knock you up and make giants together. Lots of cute, little giants running around.

Just think of it, before the night's over, I'm gonna have you walking on hot coals, levitating and screaming my name like Allah in an underground Al Qaeda beheading podcast.

This is what I call the giant within. Each of you has one. Even short people, women and cripples. That's right. A freaking giant is IN you, trapped like a coal miner after a cave-in. Inside your little body, there is a whole new 'you' struggling to step into the size 14 Nike insole of your world!

The problem? How's it going to get out! Women have a natural opening. But men? Unless we do a c-section, we're gonna have to rip it out your @#$hole from behind. And for $24.95, page 69 describes the procedure in depth.

[Lazarus]

You're killin me here, Bro!!!:rotflmbo:

[Wyatt_Junker]

http://www.the-reel-mccoy.com/movies/2005/images/Fantastic4_poster.jpg


The Fantastic Four: the Return of the Prophet.

The new cast includes The Invisible Woman as seen below.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v625/wyattjunker/ddp_01693800CB5E2E77445226471433.jpg