Pendragon_6
05-25-2006, 10:57 AM
RESUMES PLAY
By: Norman Liebmann
[Another rib tickler by Norm]
In my humble opinion, Mexican cocaine dealers will be allowed to remain in America under George Bush’s new Guest Pusher program.
In my humble opinion, Dianne Feinstein is the ideal candidate to become the United Nations’ first Yenta General.
In my humble opinion, the nearest thing to being Bill Clinton's Vice President was being Adolph Hitler’s caddy.
In my humble opinion, George Bush is giving away the country, and it isn’t his to give.
In my humble opinion, Madonna may have created a new interpretive art form called slut dancing.
In my humble opinion, the Aruban police eventually will determine that Natalee Holloway stood too close to the beach and just fell off the Island.
In my humble opinion, if you think the idea of same-sex marriage is disgusting consider the idea of same-sex honeymoons.
In my humble opinion, Bob Geldof’s suggestion that we should do something for Africa even if it doesn’t work apparently devolves on his conclusion that futility is its own reward.
In my humble opinion, that is not charisma running down Bill Clinton’s leg.
In my humble opinion, to a chimpanzee bananas are soul food.
In my humble opinion, sending a feminist to the Senate is like bringing a whore to a cat house.
In my humble opinion, a real urban crisis is having all the inner city’s 7/Elevens running out of Colt 45 at the same time.
In my humble opinion, "caring" is an emotion for which the Clintons and the media share a profound indifference.
In my humble opinion, the real function of the seat of government is to support the rumps of the reckless.
In my humble opinion, Dianne Feinstein is Karl Marx with sagging boobs. If Moses had ever met her he would have nullified her bas mitzvah and converted from Judaism to voodoo.
In my humble opinion, the media's function is not to disseminate, but to suppress. Suppression is frequently cloaked in the term "waiting for confirmation".
In my humble opinion, the military should adapt all its weapons to be Moslem-specific.
In my humble opinion, before Helen Thomas goes on camera she is made up by a graffiti artist.
In my humble opinion, the television moguls will try to further merchandise some of their occasional successes with a special called "The Sopranos Meet the Brady Bunch".
In my humble opinion, Geraldo Rivera is half Puerto Rican and all lawyer. Is this some kind of racial anomaly?
In my humble opinion, the military needs a bomb called "The Mosque Buster".
In my humble opinion, in Arkansas even the mail that ends up in the Dead Letter Office arrives late.
In my humble opinion, media is a religion that tries to console people in distress with bias rather than comfort.
In my humble opinion, Mexicans consider the Bush Administration as The Treasury of the Sierra Madre.
In my humble opinion, the more the outrageous politicians become, the more people become docile in reaction to political outrage.
In my humble opinion, it was inevitable Charles "Yellow Cake" Wilson and his bride Valerie Plame (in charge of the CIA’s Patagonia Desk) were disloyal to the Bush Administration, which in Washington will get you invited everywhere.
In my humble opinion, Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806 - 1861) asked, "How do I love the thee? Let me count the ways." If she was still alive and in San Francisco, she’d still be counting.
In my humble opinion, Washington is in a race to see which of the three branches of government will be the first to turn America into a multi-cultural demographic swamp.
In my humble opinion, the Democrat Party is America’s enemies within, without, and withal.
In my humble opinion, there was no doubt that Nagin-lovers would return Swamp City (New Orleans) to the same clown who dreamt up the concept of it being a chocolate-ocracy.
In my humble opinion, some minority folk become the needy only after they’ve fail to become the greedy.
In my humble opinion, three dynasties urgently in need of moving over and giving others a chance are the Bushes, the Clintons, and the Coppalas.
In my humble opinion, for people living in the Southwest US Mexican is not a nationality, it’s an affliction.
In my humble opinion, nobody in the White House bothered to tell George Bush, the "beaners" were flooding the streets of our cities threatening and cursing Americans.
In my humble opinion, Brokeback Mountain cowboys think a pimento is a horse with patchy markings.
In my humble opinion, on the way to the polls conservatives will spit at the mention of the Republican Party.
In my humble opinion, this will be the first election in which Republicans who always threaten to vote Libertarian will make it not just an idle threat.
In my humble opinion, Norelco will never figure out a way to make an electric razor that shaves the beard instead of just rearranging the stubble.
In my humble opinion, NAACP stands for National Association for the Advancement of Clinton People.
In my humble opinion, Sean Penn is the yardstick by which people of taste measure their desperation to see a bad movie.
In my humble opinion, there ought to be a picture of Helen Thomas in the window of the Jurassic Park Beauty Salon.
In my humble opinion, Rosie O'Donnell will continue to condemn guns. If she plans to disarm America it won’t be with her wit.
In my humble opinion, Vermont has given America a Vermont Teddy Bear. Is that precious - or what?
In my humble opinion, I have two words for the Dell Computer Company – Hewlett Packard.
In my humble opinion, California has been totally undermined by judges and fruit loops – not in any particular order.
In my humble opinion, the US Senate is a swamp of delusion and hypocrisy.
In my humble opinion, Kleenex tissues will soon come in four sizes - Small, Medium, Large, and Barbra Streisand.
In my humble opinion, Pat Leahy has the biggest face in front of the smallest brain in the Senate.
In my humble opinion, the next movie with gay cowboys will feature a stampede of French poodles.
In my humble opinion, Robert Byrd will remain the Senate’s unchallenged all-time Prince of Pork.
In my humble opinion, Trent Lott is as contemptible for the things he doesn’t do as for the things he does. Apparently there’s more to being a non-entity than meets the eye.
In you humble opinion, her 400 pound leg press exercises not withstanding, Madeleine Albright looks like she was packed into her clothes by a retarded shipping clerk his first day on the job.
In my humble opinion, the Congressional Black Caucus will offer an Amendment to the Constitution making it illegal for Caucasians to sit on juries of any future O.J. Simpson murder trials.
In my humble opinion, if America goes under chalk it up to George Bush’s compassion obsession.
In my humble opinion, if America loses the War on Terror it will be because George Bush found a greater priority in securing the approval of his conscience.
In my humble opinion, Bill Clinton was congealed out of a genetic guck called Arkansperm. It can also be used for hanging wallpaper.
In my humble opinion, if Helen Thomas would only take a few extra moments with herself in the morning, it wouldn’t help.
In my humble opinion, if there was no such place as Mexico, illegal aliens in America would be screaming for a country of their own.
In my humble opinion, by any measure, Moslems smell as bad as they look.
In my humble opinion, nobody, but nobody, misses Strobe Talbot.
In my humble opinion, Mexicans would be stuffing enchiladas with marihuana - if it didn’t make them tough to keep lit.
In my humble opinion, Chelsea Clinton will always seem to be the Shirley Temple of Podunk. One wonders what took her doting parents so long to have corrective braces put on her hair.
In my humble opinion, illegal aliens don’t come north to work. They come north to spawn. Their genitals should be confiscated at the border.
In my humble opinion, likely Senator Kennedy’s plane was struck by a lightning bolt because it was flying too close to the Texas Book Depository Building.
In my humble opinion, the next time you see the President Bush’s limo slink by don’t be surprised if it has a bumper stickers that says, "Forget the Alamo!"
In my humble opinion, France has written itself off as a serious nation and settled back into remaining that same old perfumey boutique.
In my humble opinion, political correctness will forbid the majority from expressing its opinion until the minority has first had an opportunity to change the subject.
In my humble opinion, everything that is right with Russell Crowe is wrong with George Clooney.
In my humble opinion, former CIA Director Porter Goss had the good sense to step down and give someone else a chance to fail at the job.
In my humble opinion, whatever it is that Bill McCuddy does for a living is an embarrassing job for a man – and he’s perfect for it.
In my humble opinion, that Bill Clinton has not yet gotten what’s coming to him will give you a pretty good idea of just how full God’s calendar is.
In my humble opinion, homosexuality is a result of babies being breastfed by their fathers.
In my humble opinion, Bush's strategy on The War on Terror is in neutral and idling.
and this …
In my humble opinion, it must have disappointed The Deity when He said, "Let there be light", and there was noise. The rest is history.
"Published originally at EtherZone.com : republication allowed with this notice and hyperlink intact."
ETHER ZONE (http://www.etherzone.com/2006/lieb052506.shtml)
Norman Liebmann can be reached at firehat@adelphia.net
By: Norman Liebmann
[Another rib tickler by Norm]
In my humble opinion, Mexican cocaine dealers will be allowed to remain in America under George Bush’s new Guest Pusher program.
In my humble opinion, Dianne Feinstein is the ideal candidate to become the United Nations’ first Yenta General.
In my humble opinion, the nearest thing to being Bill Clinton's Vice President was being Adolph Hitler’s caddy.
In my humble opinion, George Bush is giving away the country, and it isn’t his to give.
In my humble opinion, Madonna may have created a new interpretive art form called slut dancing.
In my humble opinion, the Aruban police eventually will determine that Natalee Holloway stood too close to the beach and just fell off the Island.
In my humble opinion, if you think the idea of same-sex marriage is disgusting consider the idea of same-sex honeymoons.
In my humble opinion, Bob Geldof’s suggestion that we should do something for Africa even if it doesn’t work apparently devolves on his conclusion that futility is its own reward.
In my humble opinion, that is not charisma running down Bill Clinton’s leg.
In my humble opinion, to a chimpanzee bananas are soul food.
In my humble opinion, sending a feminist to the Senate is like bringing a whore to a cat house.
In my humble opinion, a real urban crisis is having all the inner city’s 7/Elevens running out of Colt 45 at the same time.
In my humble opinion, "caring" is an emotion for which the Clintons and the media share a profound indifference.
In my humble opinion, the real function of the seat of government is to support the rumps of the reckless.
In my humble opinion, Dianne Feinstein is Karl Marx with sagging boobs. If Moses had ever met her he would have nullified her bas mitzvah and converted from Judaism to voodoo.
In my humble opinion, the media's function is not to disseminate, but to suppress. Suppression is frequently cloaked in the term "waiting for confirmation".
In my humble opinion, the military should adapt all its weapons to be Moslem-specific.
In my humble opinion, before Helen Thomas goes on camera she is made up by a graffiti artist.
In my humble opinion, the television moguls will try to further merchandise some of their occasional successes with a special called "The Sopranos Meet the Brady Bunch".
In my humble opinion, Geraldo Rivera is half Puerto Rican and all lawyer. Is this some kind of racial anomaly?
In my humble opinion, the military needs a bomb called "The Mosque Buster".
In my humble opinion, in Arkansas even the mail that ends up in the Dead Letter Office arrives late.
In my humble opinion, media is a religion that tries to console people in distress with bias rather than comfort.
In my humble opinion, Mexicans consider the Bush Administration as The Treasury of the Sierra Madre.
In my humble opinion, the more the outrageous politicians become, the more people become docile in reaction to political outrage.
In my humble opinion, it was inevitable Charles "Yellow Cake" Wilson and his bride Valerie Plame (in charge of the CIA’s Patagonia Desk) were disloyal to the Bush Administration, which in Washington will get you invited everywhere.
In my humble opinion, Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806 - 1861) asked, "How do I love the thee? Let me count the ways." If she was still alive and in San Francisco, she’d still be counting.
In my humble opinion, Washington is in a race to see which of the three branches of government will be the first to turn America into a multi-cultural demographic swamp.
In my humble opinion, the Democrat Party is America’s enemies within, without, and withal.
In my humble opinion, there was no doubt that Nagin-lovers would return Swamp City (New Orleans) to the same clown who dreamt up the concept of it being a chocolate-ocracy.
In my humble opinion, some minority folk become the needy only after they’ve fail to become the greedy.
In my humble opinion, three dynasties urgently in need of moving over and giving others a chance are the Bushes, the Clintons, and the Coppalas.
In my humble opinion, for people living in the Southwest US Mexican is not a nationality, it’s an affliction.
In my humble opinion, nobody in the White House bothered to tell George Bush, the "beaners" were flooding the streets of our cities threatening and cursing Americans.
In my humble opinion, Brokeback Mountain cowboys think a pimento is a horse with patchy markings.
In my humble opinion, on the way to the polls conservatives will spit at the mention of the Republican Party.
In my humble opinion, this will be the first election in which Republicans who always threaten to vote Libertarian will make it not just an idle threat.
In my humble opinion, Norelco will never figure out a way to make an electric razor that shaves the beard instead of just rearranging the stubble.
In my humble opinion, NAACP stands for National Association for the Advancement of Clinton People.
In my humble opinion, Sean Penn is the yardstick by which people of taste measure their desperation to see a bad movie.
In my humble opinion, there ought to be a picture of Helen Thomas in the window of the Jurassic Park Beauty Salon.
In my humble opinion, Rosie O'Donnell will continue to condemn guns. If she plans to disarm America it won’t be with her wit.
In my humble opinion, Vermont has given America a Vermont Teddy Bear. Is that precious - or what?
In my humble opinion, I have two words for the Dell Computer Company – Hewlett Packard.
In my humble opinion, California has been totally undermined by judges and fruit loops – not in any particular order.
In my humble opinion, the US Senate is a swamp of delusion and hypocrisy.
In my humble opinion, Kleenex tissues will soon come in four sizes - Small, Medium, Large, and Barbra Streisand.
In my humble opinion, Pat Leahy has the biggest face in front of the smallest brain in the Senate.
In my humble opinion, the next movie with gay cowboys will feature a stampede of French poodles.
In my humble opinion, Robert Byrd will remain the Senate’s unchallenged all-time Prince of Pork.
In my humble opinion, Trent Lott is as contemptible for the things he doesn’t do as for the things he does. Apparently there’s more to being a non-entity than meets the eye.
In you humble opinion, her 400 pound leg press exercises not withstanding, Madeleine Albright looks like she was packed into her clothes by a retarded shipping clerk his first day on the job.
In my humble opinion, the Congressional Black Caucus will offer an Amendment to the Constitution making it illegal for Caucasians to sit on juries of any future O.J. Simpson murder trials.
In my humble opinion, if America goes under chalk it up to George Bush’s compassion obsession.
In my humble opinion, if America loses the War on Terror it will be because George Bush found a greater priority in securing the approval of his conscience.
In my humble opinion, Bill Clinton was congealed out of a genetic guck called Arkansperm. It can also be used for hanging wallpaper.
In my humble opinion, if Helen Thomas would only take a few extra moments with herself in the morning, it wouldn’t help.
In my humble opinion, if there was no such place as Mexico, illegal aliens in America would be screaming for a country of their own.
In my humble opinion, by any measure, Moslems smell as bad as they look.
In my humble opinion, nobody, but nobody, misses Strobe Talbot.
In my humble opinion, Mexicans would be stuffing enchiladas with marihuana - if it didn’t make them tough to keep lit.
In my humble opinion, Chelsea Clinton will always seem to be the Shirley Temple of Podunk. One wonders what took her doting parents so long to have corrective braces put on her hair.
In my humble opinion, illegal aliens don’t come north to work. They come north to spawn. Their genitals should be confiscated at the border.
In my humble opinion, likely Senator Kennedy’s plane was struck by a lightning bolt because it was flying too close to the Texas Book Depository Building.
In my humble opinion, the next time you see the President Bush’s limo slink by don’t be surprised if it has a bumper stickers that says, "Forget the Alamo!"
In my humble opinion, France has written itself off as a serious nation and settled back into remaining that same old perfumey boutique.
In my humble opinion, political correctness will forbid the majority from expressing its opinion until the minority has first had an opportunity to change the subject.
In my humble opinion, everything that is right with Russell Crowe is wrong with George Clooney.
In my humble opinion, former CIA Director Porter Goss had the good sense to step down and give someone else a chance to fail at the job.
In my humble opinion, whatever it is that Bill McCuddy does for a living is an embarrassing job for a man – and he’s perfect for it.
In my humble opinion, that Bill Clinton has not yet gotten what’s coming to him will give you a pretty good idea of just how full God’s calendar is.
In my humble opinion, homosexuality is a result of babies being breastfed by their fathers.
In my humble opinion, Bush's strategy on The War on Terror is in neutral and idling.
and this …
In my humble opinion, it must have disappointed The Deity when He said, "Let there be light", and there was noise. The rest is history.
"Published originally at EtherZone.com : republication allowed with this notice and hyperlink intact."
ETHER ZONE (http://www.etherzone.com/2006/lieb052506.shtml)
Norman Liebmann can be reached at firehat@adelphia.net