Itchy Asshole

[Wyatt_Junker]

I've got poison oak. On each forearm. I thought it was bad until I talked to my cousin. He had it a couple years ago. IN HIS ASS!

He wiped his ass after handling some apparently. You know when you wipe your ass and you don't double ply up first? He just single plyed his wipe and his fingers shot right up into his ass and through the paper.

Anyway, his ass got inflamed with P.O.

But here's the real good part. The juicy part of this post. Whenever he took a shit he said it felt sooo good because the exiting terd itched the infected area.

He'd even bone up on fiber for the extra anal scratch. Down some nuts and corn.

Yeah! There's got to be a story in that somewhere!

I will be working on it very soon and will keep you all informed.

[Jag Wife]

And with that thought I'll go make me a cheese sandwich for dinner.
:icon133: :lolbang:

[Wolfcounsel]

Uh, thank you for that informative piece, Wyatt. I'll remember that the next time I go frolicking on some poison oak.:evilgrin:

[PrezLeefun]

WYATT!!! that was the most painfully funny read I have had in a long time. Thanx for the true to life laugh!

I hope you feel better and make sure you double up.

[Marcster]

And with that thought I'll go make me a cheese sandwich for dinner.
:icon133: :lolbang:
Dessert?:

http://www.delmonte.com/company/annual/2001/images/orchardselectcpeaches.jpg

[True Grace]

:img101:

[Rhino]

Too much information!!!

[Peachdiane]

HA! I opened this thread expecting to see someone like Michael Moore with an itch...

[Jag Wife]

HA! I opened this thread expecting to see someone like Michael Moore with an itch...

:roar: :rotflmbo: :thumb: BTW, don't get me started on the dessert. I have worked in a hospital. If you think POISON OAK stuck in your butt is bad....

I'll be polite and just say the surgeon has to extract glass jars at just such an angle so they don't shatter.

[UnkHiram]

After all these years I should know better than to open a thread that Wyatt started.

[DesertFox]

Well, but what I wanna know is, is what finger did the damage? Huh? huh? HUH? The index finger? Did he point himself into that fix with it? Or wuzzit the bird finger? Was he flipping himself off at the time? Huh? Or the ring finger? Was he liberalizing his life and marrying hizself? WELL? Or was it the pinky, the cute little bugger on the end? Was he fantasizing about little kids when he did this? OR, and THIS is the ultimate, was it his THUMB? Was he thumbing both ends and swapping off? Did he get poison oak of the mouth too? Well? Did he? HUH? HUH?

Inquarrin' mahnds an' all dat.

[DesertFox]

But I gots to admit, itchy asshole must be more worser than itchy pecker, which I used to contract every summer in the woods. It just felt so good to relieve oneself out there in the air, 'neath the sky and the stars -- but every damn summer my poor rod paid the price.

AND NO QUESTIONS, DAMMIT.

[Rhino]

What is wrong with me? Why do I keep opening this thread?!?!?!? :dunce:

[BuckeyeMike]

Complete and Total deterioration of the Human Conversation 101!
Damn, as Rhino said....why the HELL did I open this thread again?

mebbe I'm spectin' one of the resident libwaks to chime in with their "not ALL poison oaked itchy asses are bad" bullshit....but then...........being liberals they prolly enjoy itchy ass!

[Wolfcounsel]

Yep. I can see one of the liberals posting something like, "I know plenty of itchy buttholes, and none of them are aggravating."

[Timberwolf]

When we wuz kids...a friend o'mine hadda go...grabbed what he THOUGHT was grass to wipe. Ended up being poison ivy. He wuz none too happy for about a week and a half...possibly two.

I never have to go that badly no more....