FISTED Award winners

[Gonzo67]

Looks like it's official. We have 3 FISTED award winners here this month:

True Grace: winner of the "Compassionate Conservative of the Month" award.
Longhorn Platinum: winner of the "Fundie Word Redefinition" award.
DoctorDoom: Winner of the "Pot and Kettle Prize" award.

Congrats to our 3 "Piss of the liberals" award winners!

:thumb:

[DoctorDoom]

They HATE me! They REALLY hate me! Oh, I'm so PROUD! I want to thank my parents for having me, my agent for ... oops, wrong show. Sorry.

<center><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v349/DocDoom777/CareBears1.png" /></center>

[Timberwolf]

ROTF!! Congrats to all!!

[Beowulf]

Congrats to our winners! I guess those Fundies don't have people of their own for awards.

[DesertFox]

FISTED will never grasp that they are as fundamentalist (or more) in their beliefs as those they try to denigrate.

[HomeschoolrsRUs]

I'd say we should nominate "Whackos of the Month" in recognition of the FISTED posters, but 1) it's the same old thievery from the same old thieves, 2) they hide their cowardice by omission (they won't identify themselves as the stealer-of-quotes). As I've pointed out before, they are without honor, so why give them any.

[HomeschoolrsRUs]

. . . and this just in from FiSTeD:

<TABLE cellSpacing=5 cellPadding=5 width="95%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=forum_left vAlign=top align=left>Nikitas (http://www.fstdt.com/forums/profile.asp?u=4)
Will work for avatar.
Posts: 126
10/30/2006 7:52:18 PM

</TD><TD class=forum_right vAlign=top align=left>#15455 (http://www.fstdt.com/forums/thread.asp?p=15455#15455) A Suggestion about Quotes from Free Conservatives on the Main Page
I don't think we should keep on posting quotes from Free Conservatives about us for two reasons:

1) We have plenty of other material to demonstrate and laugh at their fundiness.

2) When we do so we become incredibly petty and sink down to their level.

We don't need to defend ourselves from these morons, their rants are nothing but sound and fury. We can't engage them in a debate through insults, and if we could they aren't going to change their minds anyway. Their insults may be silly and fundy in their own right, but when we acknowledge them we just encourage them to continue. I don't care whether or not they stop, but if we don't engage at least we are the better people (because then we would be attacking the person's fundy beliefs but not the person).

Let me repeat myself to be clear. I think we should stop posting FC quotes about us, we should, of course, continue to enjoy FC quotes in general.
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

[Nutrider99]

Looks like it's official. We have 3 FISTED award winners here this month:

True Grace: winner of the "Compassionate Conservative of the Month" award.
Longhorn Platinum: winner of the "Fundie Word Redefinition" award.
DoctorDoom: Winner of the "Pot and Kettle Prize" award.
I'm pissed. I was passed over out this time. :flame:

[Rhino]

. . . and this just in from FiSTeD:

<TABLE cellSpacing=5 cellPadding=5 width="95%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=forum_left vAlign=top align=left>Nikitas (http://www.fstdt.com/forums/profile.asp?u=4)
Will work for avatar.
Posts: 126
10/30/2006 7:52:18 PM

</TD><TD class=forum_right vAlign=top align=left>#15455 (http://www.fstdt.com/forums/thread.asp?p=15455#15455) A Suggestion about Quotes from Free Conservatives on the Main Page
I don't think we should keep on posting quotes from Free Conservatives about us for two reasons:

1) We have plenty of other material to demonstrate and laugh at their fundiness.

2) When we do so we become incredibly petty and sink down to their level.

We don't need to defend ourselves from these morons, their rants are nothing but sound and fury. We can't engage them in a debate through insults, and if we could they aren't going to change their minds anyway. Their insults may be silly and fundy in their own right, but when we acknowledge them we just encourage them to continue. I don't care whether or not they stop, but if we don't engage at least we are the better people (because then we would be attacking the person's fundy beliefs but not the person).

Let me repeat myself to be clear. I think we should stop posting FC quotes about us, we should, of course, continue to enjoy FC quotes in general.
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>Funny. I've said exactly the same thing here.

[DoctorDoom]

I don't think we should keep on posting quotes from Free Conservatives about us for two reasons:

1) We have plenty of other material to demonstrate and laugh at their fundiness.Isn't it exciting to have no life, and to be reduced to mocking posters on other boards? Obviously, IQ tests are not required for FISTED membership.

2) When we do so we become incredibly petty and sink down to their level.I cannot fathom how those a'holes could sink any lower than they are already.

[Longhorn_Platinum]

DesertFox:
FISTED will never grasp that they are as fundamentalist (or more) in their beliefs as those they try to denigrate.

:moo: The FiSTed iDioTs will never grasp that they are more "darned" than those they try to impugn. In fact, my award was for saying that "rational & sane" are words that describe people who disagree with them.

[MSGT]

One of their own came here {prayerrist} and posted some outrageous stuff. They still credit FC with his nonsense.

[USPatriot8320]

Every thing out of context

My goal: get quoted by thanksgiving... I have nearly 1,300 posts, its time :-)

[Peachdiane]

:lol: Doesn't take much... I ended up there just for making a Lennon comment tongue-in-cheek. They wouldn't know humor if it bit them in the butt either.

[Gonzo67]

Doesn't take much... I ended up there just for making a Lennon comment tongue-in-cheek. They wouldn't know humor if it bit them in the butt either.


Oh hon.. now give them a little credit... they know humor.. they MUST know humor. I'm sure each one of them have seen themselves naked. How could they NOT know humor?


[I]"Oh isn't that precious!? It looks like a penis... only smaller!"

Now, if you had said they have no sense of humor, that would have been more accurate. You can know funny, but if you don't have a sense of humor, you won't laugh at it.

I knew a girl with absolutely ZERO sense of humor. We were about to have sex, I got undressed, she turned and got sight of what I was "packing" and she just stood there screaming. Which I found slightly odd. Of course, in all fairness, she didn't know we were about to have sex. But still... no sense of humor!

People like that are just so damn hard to figure out. But what are ya gonna do?

[Wyatt_Junker]

FISTED will never grasp that they are as fundamentalist (or more) in their beliefs as those they try to denigrate.

Everyone is a fundamentalist. The fisted dickslaps luv it when I call 'em a fundie. Its so damn true though.

If you're not a fundie, you're either a fetus or a model airplane glue huffer. Or my personal favorite: the guy who wants to get rocked so hard he takes an ice pick to his Fridgidaire's compressor and then tries to light his head on fire with a butane torch.

If you don't believe in ANYTHING, you're not here and you're not there. You're everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Its all so Dr. Seuss and shit.

You might as well just rip open that bag of Funyuns with your teeth, stick in the DVD of the Wizard of Oz hi-def and then pop in some Dark Side. Then just get torn, bro.

You are the hard on a used car salesman gets when you walk onto his lot. He knows he can sell you anything. You believe in nothing. SCORE!

You are a mental whore. You hide behind the hand-me-down logic you adopted in a college elective, the shit you had to regurgitate to get that C+ and then throw in a little new age a la Shirley McLaine. Run to the light, bro. Recite some O-chem. Now, blow me.

The origin of the universe? Its unprovable. Anything could have turned that trick. From panspermia to protoplasm to comic book plots. Its up for grabs, man. Its that conversation you have in the middle of getting ripped. Everything is so like... out there.

That's what Carl Sagan is. He's the Maharishi. He's the stoner who is your inner moderator when you're tripping near the 3rd rock from the Sun. He's the guy who's still making royalties off his sci fi 2 bit shit thrillers. He throws gay & loopy curveballs of quasi science into his schlepp and seasons it with a few Einstein cliches, mixes in a couple of new age neologisms, tosses 'em around like a salad and markets it to gullibe, unwound lost souls. Then attempts to wrap it inside a glossy intellectual jacket sleeve.

Meanwhile, your faith, xtian, is the work of a banjo picking, 'bacca spittin', cousin pokin inbred cult somewhere near Appalachia, you llama riding hicks. Worshipin some cloud-lounging, unshaven sky daddy from the comfort of your double-wide, on the TBN as your clotheshanger/tinfoil antennae picks up Benny Hinn at the exact moment its do-NAY-shun time!

The FISTED nest is crammed full of unhatched theories and birdshit. Their mother and founder chews bugs and regurgitates 'em into their mouths. And then they learn the shared transmitable action line like crackwhores sharing a needle. They call this 'logic'. Its endearing. I was one of those stupid little birds once.

Before I learned how to fly.

[DoctorDoom]

Wyatt has just earned their "Using Big Words That We Are Too F**king Ignorant To Understand Award".

[True Grace]

*Trophy in hand*

First of all, I would like to thank my parents for not murdering me when they found out I was inhabiting my mother's womb unexpectedly. Thank you for actually taking responsibility for your actions and choices!

Second, I would like to thank my dear husband, who kept me barefoot and pregnant all those years and who kindly released the chain that fastens me to the stove so I could post this.

And lastly, thank you, FSTDT, for once again proving that speaking the TRUTH is a sure way to be mocked and ridiculed.

I truly fear for all of you who will stand before God in judgment one day and have to account for all of the disgusting, derisive, offensive, mocking, repulsive things you have said about Him. As much as I find your attitudes and beliefs repugnant, I don't wish for any of you to be lost or spend a second in hell. The thought of even one lost soul puts an unspeakable burden on my heart. And that's what is so ridiculous about my "award". You have no clue, as usual. But I would expect nothing less from you all.

[Beowulf]

*Trophy in hand*

First of all, I would like to thank my parents for not murdering me when they found out I was inhabiting my mother's womb unexpectedly. Thank you for actually taking responsibility for your actions and choices!

Second, I would like to thank my dear husband, who kept me barefoot and pregnant all those years and who kindly released the chain that fastens me to the stove so I could post this.

And lastly, thank you, FSTDT, for once again proving that speaking the TRUTH is a sure way to be mocked and ridiculed.

I truly fear for all of you who will stand before God in judgment one day and have to account for all of the disgusting, derisive, offensive, mocking, repulsive things you have said about Him. As much as I find your attitudes and beliefs repugnant, I don't wish for any of you to be lost or spend a second in hell. The thought of even one lost soul puts an unspeakable burden on my heart. And that's what is so ridiculous about my "award". You have no clue, as usual. But I would expect nothing less from you all.

:claps: :rotflmbo:

[Peachdiane]

Second, I would like to thank my dear husband, who kept me barefoot and pregnant all those years and who kindly released the chain that fastens me to the stove so I could post this.

Wow, whatta guy! :D

[Gonzo67]

*Trophy in hand*

First of all, I would like to thank my parents for not murdering me when they found out I was inhabiting my mother's womb unexpectedly. Thank you for actually taking responsibility for your actions and choices!

Second, I would like to thank my dear husband, who kept me barefoot and pregnant all those years and who kindly released the chain that fastens me to the stove so I could post this.

And lastly, thank you, FSTDT, for once again proving that speaking the TRUTH is a sure way to be mocked and ridiculed.

I truly fear for all of you who will stand before God in judgment one day and have to account for all of the disgusting, derisive, offensive, mocking, repulsive things you have said about Him. As much as I find your attitudes and beliefs repugnant, I don't wish for any of you to be lost or spend a second in hell. The thought of even one lost soul puts an unspeakable burden on my heart. And that's what is so ridiculous about my "award". You have no clue, as usual. But I would expect nothing less from you all.


Forgive them grace, for they know not what they do.

Speech done? Good... now get your butt back in the kitchen and make your old man a sammich!

;)

[True Grace]

Forgive them grace, for they know not what they do.

I do forgive them, Gonzo. To do any less would not be what the Lord wants from me.

When I first saw that board, I was angry. Now I just feel sad for them.

Speech done? Good... now get your butt back in the kitchen and make your old man a sammich!

;)

The old man is at work right now and should be digging into that sammich I made him right about now. :D

[Gonzo67]

:icon133:

[Wyatt_Junker]

I went trick or treating over there (http://www.fstdt.com/comments.asp?id=16077).

Dropped a little Hell on 'em, C.S. Lewis style but with some Junker additive.

[Gonzo67]

now THAT was funny!

ROFL

[DoctorDoom]

A masterpiece, brer Wyatt. Expect responses on or about Dec. 12th, when they finally understand what you said (zit-popping juvies with a half-dozen functioning neurons think really slow).

BTW, for the chilluns from that sewer who come here to quote-mine, pass this on: your board software could suck-start a leaf blower. Was it designed by a middle-school computer class? Of course, it's appropriate for a BB populated by inferiors.

[Antigone]

Bet they shafted you on the candy. :)

[d'urville]

Even the name of the site is off, they're not about poking fun at religious fundamentalists, it's just another far-left troll site.

Hey Nikitas, Coffee, tempus, why isn't this quote anywhere on your site?


He said women were "weapons" used by "Satan" to control men.

"It is said in the state of zina (adultery), the responsibility falls 90 per cent of the time on the woman. Why? Because she possesses the weapon of enticement (igraa)."


http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20867,20646437-601,00.html

It was all over the Australian news, and it has all the hallmarks of religious fundamental extremism. But there's no mention of it at all over there, is it more a case of your multicultural sensitivity and awareness (you falsely claim) again?

[DoctorDoom]

It won't be there because the ignorant juvies are only anti-Christian. However, aside from the resident trolls, no one goes there. They are nobodies. Skroom.