UnkHiram
12-03-2006, 08:41 AM
I was in Wal-Mart yesterday buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for <?fontfamily><?param Trebuchet MS><?color><?param 0000,0000,FFFF><?bigger><?bigger>my neighbor's dog and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting the Purina Diet again, <?fontfamily><?param Trebuchet MS><?color><?param 0000,0000,FFFF><?bigger><?bigger>although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last <?fontfamily><?param Trebuchet MS><?color><?param 0000,0000,FFFF><?bigger><?bigger>time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care <?fontfamily><?param Trebuchet MS><?color><?param 0000,0000,FFFF><?bigger><?bigger>ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
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I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that <?fontfamily><?param Trebuchet MS><?color><?param 0000,0000,FFFF><?bigger><?bigger>it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply <?fontfamily><?param Trebuchet MS><?color><?param 0000,0000,FFFF><?bigger><?bigger>eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is <?fontfamily><?param Trebuchet MS><?color><?param 0000,0000,FFFF><?bigger><?bigger>nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.<?/bigger><?/bigger><?/color><?/fontfamily>
<?fontfamily><?param Trebuchet MS><?color><?param 0000,0000,FFFF><?bigger><?bigger>I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now <?fontfamily><?param Trebuchet MS><?color><?param 0000,0000,FFFF><?bigger><?bigger>enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.<?/bigger><?/bigger><?/color><?/fontfamily>
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Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the <?fontfamily><?param Trebuchet MS><?color><?param 0000,0000,FFFF><?bigger><?bigger>hospital. I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt <?fontfamily><?param Trebuchet MS><?color><?param 0000,0000,FFFF><?bigger><?bigger>and a car hit me.
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<?fontfamily><?param Trebuchet MS><?color><?param 0000,0000,FFFF><?bigger><?bigger>I thought the tall guy behind her was going to have to be carried out the door.
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I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that <?fontfamily><?param Trebuchet MS><?color><?param 0000,0000,FFFF><?bigger><?bigger>it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply <?fontfamily><?param Trebuchet MS><?color><?param 0000,0000,FFFF><?bigger><?bigger>eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is <?fontfamily><?param Trebuchet MS><?color><?param 0000,0000,FFFF><?bigger><?bigger>nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.<?/bigger><?/bigger><?/color><?/fontfamily>
<?fontfamily><?param Trebuchet MS><?color><?param 0000,0000,FFFF><?bigger><?bigger>I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now <?fontfamily><?param Trebuchet MS><?color><?param 0000,0000,FFFF><?bigger><?bigger>enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.<?/bigger><?/bigger><?/color><?/fontfamily>
<?fontfamily><?param Trebuchet MS><?color><?param 0000,0000,FFFF><?bigger><?bigger>
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the <?fontfamily><?param Trebuchet MS><?color><?param 0000,0000,FFFF><?bigger><?bigger>hospital. I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt <?fontfamily><?param Trebuchet MS><?color><?param 0000,0000,FFFF><?bigger><?bigger>and a car hit me.
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<?fontfamily><?param Trebuchet MS><?color><?param 0000,0000,FFFF><?bigger><?bigger>I thought the tall guy behind her was going to have to be carried out the door.