Beowulf
12-06-2006, 10:21 AM
<HR class=hrcolor width="100%" SIZE=1> A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about a third of the way
through the semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents
gave him. Then he gets an idea. He calls his daddy.
"Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern education are
coming up with. Why, they actually have a program here that will teach our
dog Ole Blue how to talk!"
"That's absolutely amazing," his father says. "How do I get him into
that program?"
"Just send him down here with $1,000," the boy says, "I'll get him into
the course." So, his father sends the dog and $1,000.
About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money runs out.
The boy calls his father again.
"So, how's Ole Blue doing, son?" his father asks.
"Great, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't
believe this. They've had such good results with this program, they've im
plemented a new one to teach the animals how to read!"
"Read?" says his father. "No kidding? What do I have to do to get him in
that program?"
"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."
His father sends the money. But the boy has a problem. At the end of the
year, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read, so
he shoots the dog.
When he gets home, his father is all excited.
"Where's Ole Blue? I can't wait to see him talk and read something."
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some sad news. This morning, when I got out
of the shower, Ole Blue was in the living room kicking back in the
recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does. Then he turned
to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messing around with that little
redhead who lives on Oak Street?'"
The father says, "I hope you shot that son of a bitch before he talks to
your mother."
"I sure did, Dad!"
"That's my boy."
through the semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents
gave him. Then he gets an idea. He calls his daddy.
"Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern education are
coming up with. Why, they actually have a program here that will teach our
dog Ole Blue how to talk!"
"That's absolutely amazing," his father says. "How do I get him into
that program?"
"Just send him down here with $1,000," the boy says, "I'll get him into
the course." So, his father sends the dog and $1,000.
About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money runs out.
The boy calls his father again.
"So, how's Ole Blue doing, son?" his father asks.
"Great, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't
believe this. They've had such good results with this program, they've im
plemented a new one to teach the animals how to read!"
"Read?" says his father. "No kidding? What do I have to do to get him in
that program?"
"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."
His father sends the money. But the boy has a problem. At the end of the
year, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read, so
he shoots the dog.
When he gets home, his father is all excited.
"Where's Ole Blue? I can't wait to see him talk and read something."
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some sad news. This morning, when I got out
of the shower, Ole Blue was in the living room kicking back in the
recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does. Then he turned
to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messing around with that little
redhead who lives on Oak Street?'"
The father says, "I hope you shot that son of a bitch before he talks to
your mother."
"I sure did, Dad!"
"That's my boy."