Caption Sheryl and Laurie

[DeclinetoState]

Come on, you've been dying for this opportunity!

http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2007/POLITICS/04/22/rove.warming.ap/vert.crow.david.gi.jpg

"I can't believe Rove didn't want you to touch him!"

"Yeah, and it was with my clean hand, too!"

"Oooh, speaking of that, I think you missed a spot the last time you wiped me."

"Do you want me to get another square?"

"No, I think I've used my quota for the day."

"Oh, don't worry about that. We'll just buy a few carbon offsets."

"Thanks! You're such a doll!"

[DesertFox]

http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2007/POLITICS/04/22/rove.warming.ap/vert.crow.david.gi.jpg

"Did you offset your carbon today?"

"Yeah. But after I showered."

"So that's where the stink's coming from."

"Nuh uh! My shit does not stink!"

"Does too."

"Does not."

"Uh huh!"

"Huh uh!"

"You're really gonna be ripe after we run
in the 40 degree freezing cold."

"Yeah, a big one got stuck in the cracka my ass and I just don't know how I'm gonna make it 10 km."

"It'll get soft and work its way out. They always do."

"How do you know?"

"Honey, I get a big one stuck up my ass
every DAY."

[DeclinetoState]

"In that case, you might want to consider that an extraordinary circumstance and use two or three squares."

"Thanks. You're a lifesaver!"

"You're welcome--oh, speaking of Lifesavers, would you like one? Your breath is getting a little . . . uh, you know."

"Gee, thanks! And remember, these are circles, not squares, so no carbon offsets are needed."

{They "high-five," then realize each other's hand is dirty. Not wanting to use their carbon offset, they wipe their hands on their clothes.}