I'm too beautiful for jail

[Suzie]

I'm too beautiful for jail (http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0WTTkuUIkJG3mMBty3QtDMD;_ylu=X3oDMTBkY2s4NDh tBHBvcwMyOQRzZWMDc3I-/SIG=149ke7lq9/EXP=1178825748/**http%3a//australianit.news.com.au/articles/0,7204,21699284%255e5005385%255e%255enbv%255e15306 ,00.html%3ffrom=public_rss)
Perth Now - May 08 1:34 PMJAIL-BOUND socialite Paris Hilton has a petition to get her a pardon because she "provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives".

Boo hoo.

[DoctorDoom]

PH, give us a chance to see if we can live without your "beauty and excitement" for 45 days. It might crush your towering ego to discover that the world will continue without your overrated, irrelevant presence, but you'll leave that place with an appreciation of how life is in RealityLand.

[Rhino]

Paris Hilton's pardon plea to California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has been laughed out of his office.

2007-05-09 17:48:29 -

The hotel heiress appealed to her fans to sign a petition after she was sentenced to 45 days in jail for driving with a suspended licence and sent it to the actor-turned-politician.
But calls to Arnie's office inquiring about the petition were met with mockery.....http://www.pr-inside.com/paris-hilton-s-pardon-plea-to-california-r119386.htm

Of course, there would be good reason for this. In California, you have to apply for a pardon. An online petition is nothing more than a publicity stunt. You also have to exhibit exemplary behavior after being convicted, usually for years, which she hasn't had time to do, and won't before her sentence is up anyway.

A California Governor's pardon is an honor traditionally granted only to individuals who have demonstrated exemplary behavior following conviction for a felony. A pardon will not be granted unless it has been earned. Obtaining a pardon is a distinct achievement based upon proof of a useful, productive, and law-abiding life following conviction....

....Absent extraordinary and compelling circumstances, an application will not be considered unless the applicant has been discharged from probation or parole for at least 10 years without further criminal activity during that period.....

....In most cases, the first step in applying is to obtain a Certificate of Rehabilitation from the superior court in the county where the applicant currently resides. All other cases are by way of a direct or "traditional pardon" application....

....Once an application is filed under either procedure, the case is referred to the Board of Prison Terms (Board) for investigation. The Board may contact the district attorney, investigating law enforcement agency, and other persons with relevant information on the applicant....http://www.pubdef.ocgov.com/apply_for_pardon.pdf

In other words, this is just typical sensationalism from the media. There is no pardon application, nor are there grounds to submit one.

[Suzie]

Wonder how "beautiful" she will be when she drives drunk again and ends up thru the windshield? Or if she drives around with her headlights off and her car is crushed by an 18 wheeler?

[DeclinetoState]

When this little tactic fails (and I can't believe it won't), I have to think her parents will be trying to hustle her out of the country. They'll probably send her off to France or something.

[M.C.]

I hope her fellow inmates recognize her and uh, how should I say this? I hope they take care of her real nice in the showers, with a blunt object. Of course, my wish won't come true, as she is probably in some minimum security joint which is more like vacation than jail but meh, I can still hope someone beats her ass can't I? She deserves a beating and an assault for how she has assaulted our society and our American culture.

[DeclinetoState]

She wrote on her blog: "My friend Joshua started this petition, please help and sihn (sic) it. i LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!"ROFLMBO!

[DeclinetoState]

I hope her fellow inmates recognize her and uh, how should I say this? I hope they take care of her real nice in the showers, with a blunt object. Of course, my wish won't come true, as she is probably in some minimum security joint which is more like vacation than jail but meh, I can still hope someone beats her ass can't I? She deserves a beating and an assault for how she has assaulted our society and our American culture.
Actually, if she needs to have her butt beaten, I think I could administer that punishment--10 good swats once a day for 45 days.

[Wolfcounsel]

Paris Hilton has a petition to get her a pardon because she "provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives". --from Suzie's link



That's very funny, clown.

[TheUndertaker]

My one regret with all this Paris Hilton nonsense was that it is only 45 days.....

[Incident_command]

I'm too beautiful for jail

So am I. At least thats what I hear from the inmates when I run a call at the county jail. It makes me feel so dirty.

[DesertFox]

she "provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives"Paris provides bawdy excrement for our mundane lives. For that we wipe our feet at the door.

[The_Sonarman]

My one regret with all this Paris Hilton nonsense was that it is only 45 days.....

It gets worse.

California legal experts say Paris Hilton's request for a pardon from her 45-day jail sentence is ludicrous because between early release due to jail overcrowding and time off for good behavior, she probably won't spend more than 3 to 5 days in jail.

Sorry.

[Riverboat]

They'll probably send her off to France or something.Great. Then she'll have to smell armpits and garlic breath. That should be punishment enough. :rolleyes:

[TheUndertaker]

It gets worse.

California legal experts say Paris Hilton's request for a pardon from her 45-day jail sentence is ludicrous because between early release due to jail overcrowding and time off for good behavior, she probably won't spend more than 3 to 5 days in jail.

Sorry.

Now you made me cry :sad:

[Beowulf]

Paris, :stfu: Next time you want to do something stupid then remember your little "stint" in jail. Do the time and deal with it.

[Pennville_Bill]

Wonder how "beautiful" she will be when she drives drunk again and ends up thru the windshield? Or if she drives around with her headlights off and her car is crushed by an 18 wheeler?

Or when her drunk driving kills someone..............

[Suzie]

Or when her drunk driving kills someone..............

Sadly I don't think that would matter to her, as long as she is still "pretty". :huh:

[PrezLeefun]

IMO she is is not that good looking and she should be in there much longer than 45 days for her previous offenses not to mention the fact that the press caught her driving two days ago....

[Rhino]

:yeahthat:

[DeclinetoState]

25 minutes ago

LOS ANGELES - Paris Hilton may spend far less than 45 days in county jail for violating probation because of state policies and jail overcrowding, authorities said Thursday.

Hilton, sentenced last week to do the time, could spend three weeks or less behind bars because of a state requirement that grants inmates time off for good behavior and because of overcrowding in the system, Los Angeles County sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore said.

"It's possible that it could be 21 days, 23 days. It's a complicated formula that the state sets down. It's possible that she could do less time," Whitmore said.

As for overcrowding, "our jail is bursting at the seams" and some women inmates have been released after serving only 10 percent of their sentence, Whitmore said.More (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070510/ap_on_en_tv/paris_hilton;_ylt=AtAFFZWoypqCKG1enJSzLKas0NUE)

Watch the Heiress spend about 45 hours in the can, instead of 45 days.

[DeclinetoState]

And why should Paris serve a full sentence? She's probably never spoken one, either.

[DoctorDoom]

Not necessarily. She can read these without excessive hesitations and mispronunciations.

<center><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v349/DocDoom777/spot.jpg" border="1" /></center>

[Rhino]

The Paris version:

Come, Dick.

Come and dick........

Nah...... Nevermind. :evilgrin:

[CountryGent]

The Paris version:

Come, Dick.

Come and dick........

Nah...... Nevermind. :evilgrin:

ROFL!!! Now that is funny I don't care who you are......:rotflmbo::rotflmbo:

[The_Elucidator]

Not necessarily. She can read these without excessive hesitations and mispronunciations.


<CENTER>http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v349/DocDoom777/spot.jpg</CENTER>

Yes Doc, but in her vocabulary the word come is spelled quite differently! :rotflmbo:

[Republican_Legion]

Yes Doc, but in her vocabulary the word come is spelled quite differently! :rotflmbo:

ROFL!
:rotflmbo:

[DeclinetoState]

I didn't say anything about Paris being able to read--though the "Dick and Jane" stories might be at her level. Of course, her reaction might be, "They name boys Dick? What a, like, weird name."

[Riverboat]

I thought this was funny, albeit too close to the truth:

"A judge in Los Angeles has sentenced Paris Hilton to 45 days in jail for violating her probation, but Paris is trying to get out of it. Legal experts say that if Paris Hilton wants to avoid going to jail in Los Angeles, she’ll have to murder someone" (Conan O'Brien).

[DeclinetoState]

I agree that Paris should not have to go to jail. I'm sure her parents could get the judge to allow her to take an alternative punishment instead. I propose 10 swats on her bare bottom, three times a day, for 45 days. And who would administer this punishment? Well, if you asked me, I suppose I could . . .

[Longhorn_Platinum]

JAIL-BOUND socialite Paris Hilton has a petition to get her a pardon because she "provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives".

:unsmile: No, she doesn't. She isn't beautiful. She's plain. And she always has that smug look on her face, like some straight-haired ho who thinks she's beautiful. Somebody should give her the back of their hand, just to get rid of that smug look. Or maybe she can get plastic surgery to modify that homely face of hers, or just make it easy on herself, & put a bag over her head.

[DeclinetoState]

Well, if they could get both her eyes to be the same size (the right one is larger), it would help a little bit.

[Republican_Legion]

:unsmile: No, she doesn't. She isn't beautiful. She's plain. And she always has that smug look on her face, like some straight-haired ho who thinks she's beautiful. Somebody should give her the back of their hand, just to get rid of that smug look. Or maybe she can get plastic surgery to modify that homely face of hers, or just make it easy on herself, & put a bag over her head.

She is ugly like you said. Her Nose is like a fish hook that has been thru plastic surgey and it keeps looking like a skinny version of Barbara Streisand and she's so skinny she makes McDonalds look like healthy choice.

With all the money she has and has spent on her face why doesnt she just get implants ? Ted Kennedy has bigger ones than her.

I suggest the 3rd option. She needs that bag over her face. A brown paper bag with a smile so she can say she got a Tan !

[DoctorDoom]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v349/DocDoom777/Toons/bags.jpg

[The_Elucidator]

:unsmile: No, she doesn't. She isn't beautiful. She's plain. And she always has that smug look on her face, like some straight-haired ho who thinks she's beautiful. Somebody should give her the back of their hand, just to get rid of that smug look. Or maybe she can get plastic surgery to modify that homely face of hers, or just make it easy on herself, & put a bag over her head.

LP, why can't you ever just come right out and say what you mean instead of always beating around the bush!

When it comes to beauty I have always thought my wife was the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on! Bar none!!! :thumb:

[DeclinetoState]

Elucidator, kindly refrain from using the words beating and bush in a thread about The Heiress.

:D

[The_Elucidator]

Elucidator, kindly refrain from using the words beating and bush in a thread about The Heiress.

:D

You are correct, I will keep a closer eye on the type of verbiage that I use in the future in reference to the nappy headed heiress.

[DeclinetoState]

When it comes to beauty I have always thought my wife was the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on! Bar none!!!Attitudes like that would put a lot of divorce lawyers out of business.