Help Please.

[PrezLeefun]

Dear Freecers,

I have come to you guys many times in the past for help and advice. I do this because even though I know none of you in person, I trust you. Maybe that is foolish but I am once again putting my trust in you guys to give me solid advice and little bit of help.

If you knew someone you loved was involved with someone who was not just bad for them but potentially BAD... what would you do? Say the person you love is particularly stubborn and had been warned before? What if the bad person in question was already accused of crimminal charges and was leaving the state for a "short vacation"; how would you stop them?

What if you thought things were even worse than that.... as in the Bad Person may have a condition where their evil tendencies know no bounds. And could potentially hurt the person you love...
What would do?

I am panicked. I dont know what to do; which is why I am asking you guys.

I need some perspective before I open my big ass mouth and say something.

I am a forensic psych student and my instincts are telling me terrible things so I am hoping someone can give me something better to consider before I jump off the deep end.

Yours Truly,
The Prez.

[buckeyepete]

How about a criminal background search on the "bad" person. Then leave a copy on your "loved ones" door.

Express your fears to your loved one, with reasons why. (See above.)

Keep in constant touch.

[PrezLeefun]

How do you run a crimminal background check on someone? Can you do it for free?

[buckeyepete]

Check at your local cop shop. Try public records on the internet. Bribe a cop. (Just kidding, but not impossible.)

Good Luck, Prez.

Google the A**holes name and see what pops up. Sounds like you're fearful of someones safety, so don't let up...............

[Wolfcounsel]

You might want to get legal help if you need to do a background check on the person, but regardless of what you have to do, the best way is to show the other person what type of character looms in front.

After you have done everything you can think of, pray that the person finds common sense and follows it. People will ultimately do what they have decided to do, and nothing at all in this world short of a miracle will make them act otherwise.

I've known of people who have stuck it out with complete anti-social scumbags, to the max, only to have their lives ended violently by the creeps. No fairy tales.

Good luck.

[PrezLeefun]

He lives in a different county than me. I'm in the city he is in Westchester.
I'm nervous. I'm just nervous.

I study this stuff and I know it starts out small. Lots of fights, Stealing, Lying. He does that....alot. He claims trouble follows him. Trouble doesnt follow someone that much.

I am just so fearful it will get worse. I am even more fearful my cousin will be present when and if it does.

[Sarah]

How do you run a crimminal background check on someone? Can you do it for free?
I think you can have arrest record check at the main courthouse of the county he lives in. I doubt it's free. You'll probably have to pay a few bucks for them to do it.

[Madbomber]

If I read this right you said that the person in question had been charged with something and is now a flight risk? You can contact the local authorities in his area and let them know that you think he is a flight risk anonymously.

Unfortunately sometimes people do stupid things, if your loved one isnt willing to see the guy for what he is or if she in fact does see him for what he is and is OK with it for whatever reason, there really isnt much you can do for her. People make stupid decisions every day. Try to push her in the right direction but dont blame yourself if she decides not to listen and ends up having to pay the price.

[Jag Wife]

I can't vouch for where you live, but here in North Carolina we have 123nc.com, which I know doesn't cover everything. State background checks are meaningless if the person has a federal criminal record.

At the same time, if your loved one won't listen, don't neglect to protect yourself. You can only do so much. And, unfortunately, it may be necessary for your loved one to hit rock bottom. Sad, but maybe necessary.

My prayers are with you, Prez. Been through this a time or two with my sister.

[oldcoastie]

Unfortunately sometimes people do stupid things, if your loved one isnt willing to see the guy for what he is or if she in fact does see him for what he is and is OK with it for whatever reason, there really isnt much you can do for her. People make stupid decisions every day. Try to push her in the right direction but dont blame yourself if she decides not to listen and ends up having to pay the price.

That says it all. If you tell your friend, will it terminate the friendship? Maybe you'd prefer to be there for support when the bad goes down.

In any case: Document, document, document...

[BEST45CAL]

You can do a local search with the superior courts in the county you live in to see if they have a criminal record. Court cases are public record

[HomeschoolrsRUs]

I was just fixing to say, there is the Freedom of Information Act -- you should be able to get quite a bit of info, but I'm sure it will not come free (and probably not cheap either).

[PrezLeefun]

Thank You guys. I had a day to clam down and I feel a bit better. Hopefully I can get my hands on solid info.