Seeker of Truth
06-02-2003, 05:59 AM
A Blueprint for Bonding 5/28/2003
By Janice Shaw Crouse
Which Leads To A Couple Becoming One? Casual Sex Or Commitment?
St. Paul's phrase, "two become one flesh," describes marriage so perfectly that it has become cliché from endless repetition; there is a wedding ring collection with that copyrighted name and John Tesh released a wedding CD with that title. Yet with the divorce rate still hovering at about 50 percent, it is obvious that the cliché is sometimes more myth than reality. Much of contemporary American culture supports the attitude that sex is little more than a sport, nothing more than the recreation of choice. The famous Spice Girls' CD tells the "boy" to set his "spirit free" and let "two become one" so that they can see if he is as "good as they remember."
Too often today, those who require the illusion of a "relationship" formalize their sexual union by moving in together. The serial monogamy of their temporary cohabitation, serves as a fig leaf of sorts for those who crave love – if not commitment – as a necessary accompaniment to sex. Marriage is even considered by many as a temporary relationship. Pre-nuptial agreements are increasingly common even among the non-rich and non-celebrity populations. Last year, the tabloids reported a dramatic exception to current trends among the rich and famous. In their typical theatrical fashion, Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones tore up their hard-fought pre-nuptial agreement to symbolize the "permanence of their marriage commitment."
Groundbreaking research by Dr. Donald Joy (published in the early 80s) chronicled the ways in which intimacy produces bonding; countless secular movies from South Pacific to the Matrix have inadvertently illustrated the truth of the fact that God created us such that there is nothing "casual" about human sexuality. Instead, as Dr. Joy so effectively describes, human beings respond to sexual intercourse by bonding and they are driven to make that bond permanent and exclusive. Some 20 years later, the tapes of Dr. Joy's early interviews with Dr. James Dobson are still played a couple of times a year on Focus on the Family's radio program and they rank 7th in most requested tapes from that radio program.
Dr. Joy's new book, written with Robbie, his wife of 50 years, Two Become One, examines the factors that contribute to a couple bonding together happily for a lifetime. Previously, his delineation of the various stages of human bonding from mother to child and between lovers has provided a wealth of research data that substantiates the tender ties that develop between people who share intimacy – from touch, holding hands, and kissing to sexual intercourse. One of his significant points is that each of the stages of intimacy should be relished and that skipping a stage short-circuits a relationship. The same kind of common sense, insight, perceptiveness, Biblical foundation and thorough research permeates the Joys' newest book.
More @ cwfa.org (http://www.cwfa.org/articles/4014/BLI/dotcommentary/index.htm)
By Janice Shaw Crouse
Which Leads To A Couple Becoming One? Casual Sex Or Commitment?
St. Paul's phrase, "two become one flesh," describes marriage so perfectly that it has become cliché from endless repetition; there is a wedding ring collection with that copyrighted name and John Tesh released a wedding CD with that title. Yet with the divorce rate still hovering at about 50 percent, it is obvious that the cliché is sometimes more myth than reality. Much of contemporary American culture supports the attitude that sex is little more than a sport, nothing more than the recreation of choice. The famous Spice Girls' CD tells the "boy" to set his "spirit free" and let "two become one" so that they can see if he is as "good as they remember."
Too often today, those who require the illusion of a "relationship" formalize their sexual union by moving in together. The serial monogamy of their temporary cohabitation, serves as a fig leaf of sorts for those who crave love – if not commitment – as a necessary accompaniment to sex. Marriage is even considered by many as a temporary relationship. Pre-nuptial agreements are increasingly common even among the non-rich and non-celebrity populations. Last year, the tabloids reported a dramatic exception to current trends among the rich and famous. In their typical theatrical fashion, Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones tore up their hard-fought pre-nuptial agreement to symbolize the "permanence of their marriage commitment."
Groundbreaking research by Dr. Donald Joy (published in the early 80s) chronicled the ways in which intimacy produces bonding; countless secular movies from South Pacific to the Matrix have inadvertently illustrated the truth of the fact that God created us such that there is nothing "casual" about human sexuality. Instead, as Dr. Joy so effectively describes, human beings respond to sexual intercourse by bonding and they are driven to make that bond permanent and exclusive. Some 20 years later, the tapes of Dr. Joy's early interviews with Dr. James Dobson are still played a couple of times a year on Focus on the Family's radio program and they rank 7th in most requested tapes from that radio program.
Dr. Joy's new book, written with Robbie, his wife of 50 years, Two Become One, examines the factors that contribute to a couple bonding together happily for a lifetime. Previously, his delineation of the various stages of human bonding from mother to child and between lovers has provided a wealth of research data that substantiates the tender ties that develop between people who share intimacy – from touch, holding hands, and kissing to sexual intercourse. One of his significant points is that each of the stages of intimacy should be relished and that skipping a stage short-circuits a relationship. The same kind of common sense, insight, perceptiveness, Biblical foundation and thorough research permeates the Joys' newest book.
More @ cwfa.org (http://www.cwfa.org/articles/4014/BLI/dotcommentary/index.htm)