Advice: Dealing with a Bully(ies)

[HomeschoolrsRUs]

Our family has been dealing with a bully (and his "friends"), and things have escalated today to the point that I'm looking for some advice.

This started last year when my son was attending his dual enrollment program at the junior college. He was sharing ride responsibilities with another student, when we found out some disturbing information about the young man (he has a juvie record, and is well-known to be involved in nefarious activities around the town). We decided that it was not a good idea for them to continue riding to class together, so we told our son that we would help him with gas whenever he needed it, and that we didn't want anyone riding with him. The other young man was not happy about this, not at all, and made that known to our son when they were in class together.

Later, after our son graduated from the program (but the other boy has not, still has time left), our son found out that the boy started hanging around with another really bad seed we were familiar with. They decided they didn't like our son, and started spreading rumors about him and putting out the word they were going to beat him (our son) up.

They have threatened to damage our son's truck, and DID damage the vehicle of another of his friends (though we can't "prove" it). They've confronted our son at the river when he was out with friends, at the local restaurant, and in the parking lot of the local grocery store. So far, our son has been able to avoid violent confrontations with them, but today things got worse.

He (our son) was in the grocery with some of his friends picking up some stuff for his trip to the beach. They were in the checkout line when the two troublemakers came in yelling at my son and his friends to come outside they were going to beat them up. They were making a huge scene, and thank heavens the manager was on duty, heard the confrontation, and kicked the troublemakers out of the store.

Our son is eighteen (birthday was this past March), but he still lives at home with us (while he works and saves up, he wants to buy his own property). So the question, can we involve the law or does he have to contact them? Do we have any legal recourse, does anyone know?

Advice would be appreciated.

[Rhino]

He should call the cops, and check into a restraining order.

http://www.letswrap.com/legal/harass.htm

[Rhino]

(2) Any person who willfully, maliciously, and repeatedly follows, harasses, or cyberstalks another person commits the offense of stalking, a misdemeanor of the first degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082 or s. 775.083.

(3) Any person who willfully, maliciously, and repeatedly follows, harasses, or cyberstalks another person, and makes a credible threat with the intent to place that person in reasonable fear of death or bodily injury of the person, or the person's child, sibling, spouse, parent, or dependent, commits the offense of aggravated stalking, a felony of the third degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082, s. 775.083, or s. 775.084.

(4) Any person who, after an injunction for protection against repeat violence, sexual violence, or dating violence pursuant to s. 784.046, or an injunction for protection against domestic violence pursuant to s. 741.30, or after any other court-imposed prohibition of conduct toward the subject person or that person's property, knowingly, willfully, maliciously, and repeatedly follows, harasses, or cyberstalks another person commits the offense of aggravated stalking, a felony of the third degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082, s. 775.083, or s. 775.084.

(5) Any person who willfully, maliciously, and repeatedly follows, harasses, or cyberstalks a minor under 16 years of age commits the offense of aggravated stalking, a felony of the third degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082, s. 775.083, or s. 775.084.

(6) Any law enforcement officer may arrest, without a warrant, any person he or she has probable cause to believe has violated the provisions of this section. http://www.leg.state.fl.us/statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=943.0435&URL=Ch0784/Sec048.HTM

[HomeschoolrsRUs]

So he has to do it. He's scared, and I know that's not a 'cool' thing to say or admit. He has a medical condition called Constitutional Growth Delay -- his bones show a younger age than he really is, which gives him the appearance of being way younger than he really is. He's much smaller than everyone else his age, and I'm sure that contributes to his concern. He's afraid of talking with the police, and afraid not to.
Guess we'll try to convince him it's in his best interests to be safe rather than sorry, and file a complaint with the law.

[Rhino]

Go with him.

[Rhino]

Have him get a concealed carry permit too, if he's old enough.

[HomeschoolrsRUs]

Oh we would/will. Just never thought we'd be dealing with something like this, :sad:. I guess it's in a parent's nature to try to protect our kids, take on the bad guys for them, but I guess it's time to nudge him into adulthood. He keeps wanting to avoid this thinking it will just go away, but I'm afraid he's going to go around a corner one day and there will be a gun in his face (these boys have been known for trouble with firearms too).

Thanks Rhino.

[HomeschoolrsRUs]

I don't know if he's old enough for a CCP, I'll have to check Florida law.

[Rhino]

Take a copy of that statute with you too, just in case the cops balk at doing anything. Be insistent, and don't let them blow you off. If they do, consult a lawyer.

EDIT: Or go directly to the county prosecutor. You are well within your rights to insist on action.

[Rhino]

I don't know if he's old enough for a CCP, I'll have to check Florida law.21

[buckeyepete]

Talk to some "older and bigger" adults to inspire the punks to rethink their badass ways. I, at one time, had the same problem with the neighborhood punks when I lived in Michigan. Multiple calls to the cop's didn't help, cause I didn't have 'evidence' of anything happening. I was told by one officer that they wanted to get these punks, but because they were juvi's, there wasn't much we could do. But, I was allowed to 'overhear a conversation' he was having with another officer saying that he would catch these punks, put them in the hospital, and have a ready made alibi of having a card game at home with all the other older neighbors.

It works. After crusing the neighborhood, calling out the punks, and letting them know that we were looking for them, things got quiet real quick.

Just a thought, Homes, but as a last resort...............what the hell.

The elders will always prevail.

[Beowulf]

Ah, Bullies! Some of my favorite people!

Lots of good advice. Homes, as your son is smaller, I would research the CCW, make damned sure he knows how to use one and isn't afraid to use it!
Unfortunately, bullies don't understand anything until they themselves get their butt whipped. Your son may be smaller but picking up a good martial arts class will help.
Last piece of advice, the biggest man in the world drops like a ton of bricks when you kick his knee in backwards!!

[Wolfcounsel]

When our kids were about three years from the start of puberty, I started toughening them up with exercises up the yin-yang. I would pad myself all over my critical parts and let them swing and punch as hard as they could. I would make them do sit-ups the old-fashioned way, and Judo-style push-ups to toughen their forearms. In short, I made sure they were equipped to defend themselves in a fight, and I told them we would never punish them if they got into a fight they had not started. It worked. Not even gangmembers picked on them all through high school. At 18, your son is not too old to develop his body to fight back. There is nothing wrong with defending yourself. Of course, if you all think a restraint order will stop those two assholes, by all means, go ahead and get it. Make sure there is equalizing back-up and more, just in case they are from Retards 'R' Us.

[HomeschoolrsRUs]

It's not that my son doesn't know how to defend himself. We had another bully bother him when he was younger, we determined this child was jealous because our son had an intact family and a loving involved father (the other child did not). After several episodes of turning the other cheek, my son had finally had enough -- this boy was over twice his size, but after he shoved my son, my son jumped on him and had to be physically pried off (after blackening both of the boys eyes, bloodying his lip, and bruising him all over. Even the child's parent agreed he deserved what he got.

THESE boys however, are far more dangerous. They've been in plenty of trouble with the law, have damaged vehicles and been in other fights. We know for a fact they have firearms, and access to large numbers of them (we know their families, all good-for-nothings, trouble-makers, and criminals). What we're afraid is going to happen, is that these boys are going to ambush my son (and/with his friends) and that they'll use guns, knives, bats, etc.

I think we are going to do our best to convince him to go talk with our local Sherrif's Department.

[Wolfcounsel]

I understand, Home. Dealing with soulless cretins like those, only outright threats of painful death will make their brain stems think a little. You need someone to administer the medicine to them, and I would say a visit from some Neanderthal-like police officer might get them to re-think their ways. The scenario goes something like this:

Police officer to cretins-- "You see this kid? I'm putting you two in charge of making sure nothing happens to him. Because if I find out that he slipped on a banana peel, you and your buddies will answer to my not-so-nice friends. Go ahead and file a police complaint report if you want."

Have your son turn on his ambush radar and keep it on 24 hours a day. Have him arm himself with at least a legal-sized razor sharp folding knife, if he cannot carry. In Texas one can legally carry a shotgun on his person. He just can't go around pointing it with no intent to shoot.

[PrezLeefun]

Homes there are few types of people I really hate. But bullies are on the hate list.

I had to deal with them my whole life. I second most of the adivce in this thread that kid is harassing, and stalking so get a restraining order.

And you have lucked out....your son lives in a state where he can carry a gun. Make sure he has one.

[oldcoastie]

I had similar problems with our son, who had a serious eye injury that kept him out of all contact sports. That would also include fighting.

I cornered the little thugs and told them to back off, and they said that if I touched them they'd sue me. So I replied that they could sue all they wanted to, because I had nothing, but they'd still have broken backs. I also told them that if any damage occurred to any of our vehicles or property, I'd come looking for them and that I would NOT be alone.

They left and I had no further problems.