TeenageRepublican
09-17-2007, 10:36 PM
Before the jokes roll, I want to say something. If you want to do Anti-Liberal Jokes 4, go ahead.
Medical Physicians:
a. The number of medical physicians in the U.S. is approx. 700,000.
b. Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.
c. Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.
(Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services)
Now think about this:
Guns:
a. The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000.
b. The number of accidental gun deaths per year (all age groups) is 1,500.
c. The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is 0.0000188.
Statistically, medical doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
Remember, "Guns don't kill people, doctors do"!
FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.
Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!
Out of concern for the public at large, I have withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention.
***
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her.
She goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, now she's angry!
She opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and points to her head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!"
"Shut up," she says, "You're next."
***
USMC Rules For Gun Fighting
Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns. Bring all of your friends who have guns.
Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
Only hits count. A close miss is still a miss.
If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast enough nor using cover correctly.
Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal movements are preferred.)
If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a long gun and a friend with a long gun.
In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics.
They will only remember who lived.
If you are not shooting, you should be communic- ating, reloading, and running.
Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting standards will be more dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the gun.
Use a gun that works EVERY TIME.
Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.
Always cheat = always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
Have a plan.
Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work.
Use cover and concealment as much as possible.
Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
Don't drop your guard.
Always tactically reload and threat scan 360 degrees.
Watch their hands. Hands kill. (In God we trust. Everyone else, keep your hands where I can see them).
Decide to be AGGRESSIVE enough, QUICKLY enough.
The faster you finish the fight, the less shot up you will get.
Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does not start with a "4".
Navy Rules for Gun Fighting
Go to Sea
Send the Marines
Drink Coffee***
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
"How was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
***
That's all I can find now, you can add more, if you so desire.
Medical Physicians:
a. The number of medical physicians in the U.S. is approx. 700,000.
b. Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.
c. Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.
(Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services)
Now think about this:
Guns:
a. The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000.
b. The number of accidental gun deaths per year (all age groups) is 1,500.
c. The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is 0.0000188.
Statistically, medical doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
Remember, "Guns don't kill people, doctors do"!
FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.
Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!
Out of concern for the public at large, I have withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention.
***
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her.
She goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, now she's angry!
She opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and points to her head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!"
"Shut up," she says, "You're next."
***
USMC Rules For Gun Fighting
Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns. Bring all of your friends who have guns.
Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
Only hits count. A close miss is still a miss.
If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast enough nor using cover correctly.
Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal movements are preferred.)
If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a long gun and a friend with a long gun.
In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics.
They will only remember who lived.
If you are not shooting, you should be communic- ating, reloading, and running.
Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting standards will be more dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the gun.
Use a gun that works EVERY TIME.
Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.
Always cheat = always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
Have a plan.
Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work.
Use cover and concealment as much as possible.
Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
Don't drop your guard.
Always tactically reload and threat scan 360 degrees.
Watch their hands. Hands kill. (In God we trust. Everyone else, keep your hands where I can see them).
Decide to be AGGRESSIVE enough, QUICKLY enough.
The faster you finish the fight, the less shot up you will get.
Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does not start with a "4".
Navy Rules for Gun Fighting
Go to Sea
Send the Marines
Drink Coffee***
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
"How was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
***
That's all I can find now, you can add more, if you so desire.