DoctorDoom
06-15-2003, 02:44 AM
[ QUOTE ]
May 11, 2003 — Only a lunatic would be writing an essay on Mother's Day you say. Well, my Bride and I felt a strong urge to share the following with you. The fellow who wrote the letter is known to me to be an honest attorney. Honest possum! We've had many exchanges of mail but this is a classic.
If this particular gentleman was not the author of this letter I would have bet it was written by a joke writer from Saturday Night Live rather than a respected trial lawyer.
He has a reverence for the US Constitution as written. I have read his legal arguments concerning the second amendment to the Constitution and they are right on point. His views parallel those of James Madison, father of the second amendment.
I would ask that you reply to this mailing and inform us whether you think the following is a weak attempt at humor (because good humor requires a touch of believability) or "only in Massachusetts" material.
[snip]
The facts of the case were that the man went into a police station to report a burglary of his home. Among the articles stolen was his firearm, which he kept in a padlocked duffle bag, which itself was hidden in his home. So...
THEY ARRESTED HIM.
Now the thieving criminals that broke into his home have his gun (assuming they figured the combination or cut open the bag), and he has a criminal record for not preventing them from breaking into his home and stealing his property, and from making the final fatal mistake of being a good citizen and reporting it to our police.
[/ QUOTE ]
Lunatics (http://www.massnews.com/2003_Editions/5_May/051603_mn_lunatics.shtml)
There's a constant race between MA and CA to see which one can be the most utterly ****ing outrageous, and MA has definitely won this round. We seem to make being a braindead asshole a job qualification for any government position.
May 11, 2003 — Only a lunatic would be writing an essay on Mother's Day you say. Well, my Bride and I felt a strong urge to share the following with you. The fellow who wrote the letter is known to me to be an honest attorney. Honest possum! We've had many exchanges of mail but this is a classic.
If this particular gentleman was not the author of this letter I would have bet it was written by a joke writer from Saturday Night Live rather than a respected trial lawyer.
He has a reverence for the US Constitution as written. I have read his legal arguments concerning the second amendment to the Constitution and they are right on point. His views parallel those of James Madison, father of the second amendment.
I would ask that you reply to this mailing and inform us whether you think the following is a weak attempt at humor (because good humor requires a touch of believability) or "only in Massachusetts" material.
[snip]
The facts of the case were that the man went into a police station to report a burglary of his home. Among the articles stolen was his firearm, which he kept in a padlocked duffle bag, which itself was hidden in his home. So...
THEY ARRESTED HIM.
Now the thieving criminals that broke into his home have his gun (assuming they figured the combination or cut open the bag), and he has a criminal record for not preventing them from breaking into his home and stealing his property, and from making the final fatal mistake of being a good citizen and reporting it to our police.
[/ QUOTE ]
Lunatics (http://www.massnews.com/2003_Editions/5_May/051603_mn_lunatics.shtml)
There's a constant race between MA and CA to see which one can be the most utterly ****ing outrageous, and MA has definitely won this round. We seem to make being a braindead asshole a job qualification for any government position.