Worst Movie You Saw

[Maggie_T]

Ok. We already know which films people consider the best. Let's do the opposite now and let's tell each other which we consider the worst films. Old and new.

I'll start by saying that the WORST film I saw lately was "Good Luck Chuck," with Jessica Alba and an untalented moron called Dane Cook.

That was the most vulgar, gross, crude, badly-acted, stupid "film" I had the misfortune to pay to see. A failed attempt at humor, if I ever saw one. I cannot imagine why Jessica Alba lent herself for such a display of postponed adolescence on celluloid. That film alone makes me wish the "writers" strike would last forever.

I'm sorry, but anyone who found that piece of trash funny needs serious help. Or simply needs to grow up. FAST.

[Suzie]

The color of money. It's the only movie I have ever walked out of.

[Neil Peart]

High Tension. It was extremely well done until the ending that MADE ABSOLUTELY NO FRIGGIN' SENSE WHATSOEVER. Susprisingly, Vince Russo did not write the film.

[Maggie_T]

The color of money. It's the only movie I have ever walked out of.


Is that the one with Paul Newman and Mary Elizabeth Mastroantonio, Suze?

[Suzie]

Yeah and I like Paul Newman. But then there's Tom Cruise. Tom Probably ruined it. I was expecting something equal to Raging Bull or Taxi Driver. This was just boring. Mind numbingly boring.

[BabyBeastie]

Dane Cook actually is pretty lame. LOL

[Jack_Savage]

Most of the new ones. There all recruitment for militant-left causes.

[Maggie_T]

Yeah and I like Paul Newman. But then there's Tom Cruise. Tom Probably ruined it. I was expecting something equal to Raging Bull or Taxi Driver. This was just boring. Mind numbingly boring.


Ah, yes. Then that's the one I saw, too.

You can tell how "impressed" I was by the film. :biggrin:

[Maggie_T]

Most of the new ones. There all recruitment for militant-left causes.


:claps:Absolutely right, D4R. I refuse to see anything that deals with Iraq and/or Islamofascists in any way. I know what to expect.

[Elgalad]

The American President (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112346/) is still at the bottom of my list.


-E

[Maggie_T]

Oh, Lord, yes! That was such a syrupy, especially-made-for-liberal-soccer-moms bit of of sentimental crap. :rolleyes:

[Jack_Savage]

:claps:Absolutely right, D4R. I refuse to see anything that deals with Iraq and/or Islamofascists in any way. I know what to expect.

I try and avoid anything with Woody Harralson in it. Money Train was bad on every level. But all of his and that husband and wife team of Susan Sarandon and can't think of the idiot husband of hers at the moment, but those two are just as bad as Woody. However when you start counting, its hard to find where to stop. Barbara Streisand just announced her support for Hillary, and it was called a coup to get her backing. If that doesn't tell the world how stupid America has become I don't know what does. So any movie she is in I would avoid.

[PrezLeefun]

Happy Feet. They took a fun good story and the last 25% of the movie was political agenda through and through. Pissed me off.

Also The Horse Whisperer... so boring.

[Suzie]

Happy Feet was pretty bad. I fell asleep when the kids rented it. I am glad we didn't make it to the theater when it was playing.

[Trevelyan]

Um, I've never really sat down and thought about what is the absolute worst movie I have seen is, but some bad ones off the top of my head would have to be "Freddy Got Fingered," "Anaconda," "Zeus and Roxanne," "The Indian in the Cupboard," and "Hostel."

[Suzie]

"The Indian in the Cupboard,"

My husband always said to make that one interesting they should have had the cav guy in the medicine cabinet. :lol:

[PrezLeefun]

i liked that movie...... when i was nine.

[TeenageRepublican]

The new version of The Fog was super bad.

[ThomasMore]

No. 1 on the all-time Awful Parade: The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Thoroughly sick. Anyone who had anything to do with it, and anyone who sees it a second time, is seriously in need of antipsychotic medications.

Runners up:

The American President
Event Horizon

[RogerFGay]

Being a radical sci-fi fan, there are plenty of movies in other genres that I'd hate to be put through again. Plan 9 From Outer Space seems to be the most named worst sci-fi films ever made, and certainly rates somewhere on the worst films ever made in any genre list; but it's really bad in a funny way so I always give it high marks for that strange kind of really bad movie entertainment value. If nothing else, it made some lasting impressions - for example: Vampira and the idea of a Vampire covering his face with his cape (because it was supposed to be Bela Lugosi but wasn't, and the fact that the actor covered his face didn't really hide the fact very well).

But I've seen one recently that was a greater disappointment - Virtuosity starring Denzel Washington and Russel Crowe. For one thing, I was expecting something with an actor who's won five Academy Awards to be pretty good. But the other thing - the sci-fi premise uses the technical approach that our company uses - evolutionary programming. So, I was hoping for a very interesting presentation.

There are some interesting roughly science-based ideas and a little CGI at first. Even though the company man and techie were bad stereotypes who made you wonder how such screwed up idiots could have made it to the important positions they held, there was still some hope for an interesting movie. But then it turned into a really simple-minded (read: stupid) chase movie between Washington and Crowe - and that was it until the not done in a very interesting or surprising, surprise ending that was supposed to be interesting. Bait and switch - looking for sci-fi but even with the potentially great sci-fi premise, that part didn't really go anywhere as the movie was really about the chase.

Bad movie. Bad, bad movie. No points even for being bad in that sort of entertaining kind of way. It's a movie that looks serious, has serious actors, and some kind of serious production values - so you can't get a good laugh out of it - it's just bad.

[RogerFGay]

As disappointed as I was with Virtuosity, that's certainly not the worst film I've ever seen. I'll give you one now that I literally found too bad to watch. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H._G._Wells%27_The_Shape_of_Things_to_Come">The Shape of Things to Come</a>, starring Jack Palance and barry Morse among others. Yes, Jack Palance the cowboy actor.

The movie is advertised as H.G. Wells The Shape of Things to Come, and takes its name from the book. Saying it's "loosely" based on the book or some such thing. I made the mistake of ordering the DVD before reading reviews. I like the 1936 film adaptation, "Things to Come" starring Raymond Massey with the screenplay written by Wells himself. So, without thinking much, I immedately ordered what looked like a remake.

Then I read reviews and within only a few minutes I was back on Amazon trying to cancel my order. All I can say is that sellers must have seen me coming and wanted to get rid of their copies as quickly as possible. The order was already processed and marked as shipped. Since I paid for it, I tried to watch it - but after 10 minutes or so, found it so unbearable that I just popped it back into the box.

[TeenageRepublican]

Prophecy, a liberal propaganda horror flick, was bad.
Yes, we've all seen the theme "mankind has created a monster with polution" a lot, but this is where it all started.
Typical Liberal Crap...

[RogerFGay]

Prophecy, a liberal propaganda horror flick, was bad.
Yes, we've all seen the theme "mankind has created a monster with polution" a lot, but this is where it all started.
Typical Liberal Crap...


So much for Godzilla.

[RogerFGay]

Oh wait - here's a really bad one too - I watched more than 10 minutes, but it's really bad - Ghosts of Mars (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghosts_of_Mars). It's actually a boring zombie slasher flick pretending to have something to do with sci-fi by being on Mars with an atmosphere, so members of the cast can still wear long black leather coats. It's supposed to be terraformed so the atmosphere exists, but it's still red and lifeless. The action was so slow that Night of the Living Dead would easily beat it in a race. What you get is "Look at me. I'm a movie star" attitude from cast members like Ice Cube and Pam Grier. Another John Carpenter anti-spectacular.

[TeenageRepublican]

That's a John Carpenter flick. That's not one of his good ones. See The Fog, or Halloween, or The Thing (Sci-Fi Horror), or In the Mouth of Madness. THOSE are what his good style can create.
Pro-Life (boring, can't tell if he's pro-life or pro-choice in that) and Ghost of Mars are his bad ones.

[Madbomber]

Worst movie? thats easy: Attack of the killer Tomatos.

[TeenageRepublican]

That was meant to be bad.

Has anyone ever seen Space Mutiny? I could barely sit through the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version of it.

[Kathy30]

The Big Lebowski is right up there. As is some really stupid pic with Harrison Ford. His wife and some woman's husband died in a plane crash and the two were trying to figure out if they were having an affair. Senseless and senselessly done. I don't even remember the name. The Constant Gardener.

[mkafrica]

Hairspray. I went to see my brother who was in town at the time, and my bro's in-laws had rented, and were watching it. I only (thankfully) saw the last 20 minutes or so of the movie, and I'm still lamenting the loss of those 20 minutes of my life... :(

[Sarah]

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

[Trevelyan]

The Big Lebowski is right up there.

BLASPHEMY!!!!!!!

[Neil Peart]

The Big Lebowski is right up there.:flame::flame::flame::flame::flame::flame::f lame:

That is one of the greatest movies ever made.

Nobody f***s with the Jesus!

[Sarah]

BLASPHEMY!!!!!!!
My thoughts exactly.

[Maggie_T]

As is some really stupid pic with Harrison Ford. His wife and some woman's husband died in a plane crash and the two were trying to figure out if they were having an affair. Senseless and senselessly done. I don't even remember the name.

Oh, yeah. I know which one you mean. I can't remember the name, either. Harrison Ford and Kristin Scott Thomas. What a waste of two good actors. She plays a Republican politician running for some thing or other. She looses, of course. Hollywood, you know.

There was a similar turkey with Meryl Streep and Robert DeNiro. A pair of cretins who can't make up their minds to have an affair, either. The whole dialogue consists of something along these lines:

"Hi ... um ... you know ..."

"Yeah ... so ... how are you?"

"Um ... ok ... er ... ah ..."

"Yeah ... I know ..."

I kid you not. That's the sum total of that crap. Bring on another writers' strike anytime. :rolleyes:


The Constant Gardener.

I wouldn't watch that if they paid me to do it.

[Maggie_T]

But all of his and that husband and wife team of Susan Sarandon and can't think of the idiot husband of hers at the moment, but those two are just as bad as Woody. However when you start counting, its hard to find where to stop. Barbara Streisand just announced her support for Hillary, and it was called a coup to get her backing. If that doesn't tell the world how stupid America has become I don't know what does. So any movie she is in I would avoid.

I steadfastly refuse to see anything with Blabs in it. Anything. I go as far as changing the radio station when I hear her warblings. She pisses me off that bad.

Speaking of which, The Way We Were ranks pretty high on my list of schmaltzy sentimental leftist propaganda. Blabs pretending to be pretty at the same time she spews the Marxist garbage. Yuck! Where's that barf bag.

[Rhino]

American Beauty.

I liked Zeus and Roxanne. Rocky Horror was pretty bad, but I confess I get a laugh out of it from time to time.

[HomeschoolrsRUs]

The color of money. It's the only movie I have ever walked out of.

That was my #1 for worst. Coming in a close second is The Last Emperor. Both of them started nowhere and ended nowhere, with nothing much to hold one's interest in the middle. Yuck!

[Jack_Savage]

I steadfastly refuse to see anything with Blabs in it. Anything. I go as far as changing the radio station when I hear her warblings. She pisses me off that bad.

Speaking of which, The Way We Were ranks pretty high on my list of schmaltzy sentimental leftist propaganda. Blabs pretending to be pretty at the same time she spews the Marxist garbage. Yuck! Where's that barf bag.


I saw a news clip of her yesterday and man did she look like an idiot. Real old looking, while at the same time trying to look so young. And that husband of hers. Well, as they say you get what you wish for. I gotta feel real sorry for those poor souls who work for her. She's really developed quite a dominering manner. It jumped out at the camera on that clip. Smug phony smile, frumped up and snotty looking. She is backing Hillary so I'm sure we will get a few more shots of her. What I saw she can't hide. Beware of what she has turned into.

[gnome]

There was a movie that came out in '91 that had Christopher Lambert and Sean Connery in it, but whenever I search my memory it just comes up as a big blank.

[HomeschoolrsRUs]

"Highlander"?

[Sarah]

Solaris is another horrid movie. It was so bad that all copies of the movie should be destroyed and then forgotten in history.

[gnome]

"Highlander"?

Naaah, that one was 1986... and awesome. IMDB says "Highlander 3" wasn't made until 1994, so I guess it's a mystery...

[Eagle1]

full frontal (no it is not what it sounds like)

[Sarah]

There was a movie that came out in '91 that had Christopher Lambert and Sean Connery in it, but whenever I search my memory it just comes up as a big blank.
That was Highlander 2 a very bad movie because the nitwit who wrote it decided to reinvent the Highlander idea into something else completely.
The only reason why Christopher Lambert and Sean Connery were in it is because when they signed to do the first movie, they also signed to do a sequel.

[sealman]

Generally, any animated movie gets my vote as the worst (when you get past 60 years old you don't want to look at cartoons-trust me). As for the worst real movie, it was so bad I can't even remember the name. All I remember is that it was a period piece with Michele Pfeiffer and my wife dragged me to see it about twenty years ago. It was so dull that not only did I sleep through it, but I was awakened every few minutes by what sounded like other people dozing off and falling out of their seats! I think Martin Scorsese was the director, beleive it or not. Anybody recognize the movie?

[Neil Peart]

Generally, any animated movie gets my vote as the worst (when you get past 60 years old you don't want to look at cartoons-trust me).
Are you bashing A Bug's Life? :flame:

[sealman]

Yes. Can't you see I'm a cantakerous old man? I also hate movies with cute little kids is them.

[Rhino]

Did you like Toy Story?

[Neil Peart]

Yes. Can't you see I'm a cantakerous old man?Then what the hell are you doing on the Internets? :thumb:

[sealman]

Did you like Toy Story?

Never saw it. The last animated I saw was one of the Shrek movies. My wife dragged me to that one too, but it was for a good cause: her 8 year old neice (the closest thing we have to a grand-daughter so far) wanted to see it.

[Neil Peart]

I just found a new candidate for worst movie ever:

Hot Rod. The movie just flows along, never giving any real time to develop characters with any sort of depth whatsoever. I didn't even watch it past 30 minutes because it sucked so much.

[TeenageRepublican]

Generally, any animated movie gets my vote as the worst (when you get past 60 years old you don't want to look at cartoons-trust me). As for the worst real movie, it was so bad I can't even remember the name. All I remember is that it was a period piece with Michele Pfeiffer and my wife dragged me to see it about twenty years ago. It was so dull that not only did I sleep through it, but I was awakened every few minutes by what sounded like other people dozing off and falling out of their seats! I think Martin Scorsese was the director, beleive it or not. Anybody recognize the movie?

I disagree. Most computer cartoons are super bad these days. Beowulf was excellent, though. Completely unexpected from me. Enough action to satisfy every man for a week.

[TeenageRepublican]

Another bad one was Hatchet. That was not old school horror, nothing compared to A Nightmare on Elm Street.
The sluts in that movie couldn't keep their tops on for 2 minutes at a time and scream "WHOOOO!"
Plus, the ending sucked!!!!!

[Maggie_T]

Generally, any animated movie gets my vote as the worst (when you get past 60 years old you don't want to look at cartoons-trust me). As for the worst real movie, it was so bad I can't even remember the name. All I remember is that it was a period piece with Michele Pfeiffer and my wife dragged me to see it about twenty years ago. It was so dull that not only did I sleep through it, but I was awakened every few minutes by what sounded like other people dozing off and falling out of their seats! I think Martin Scorsese was the director, beleive it or not. Anybody recognize the movie?


A period piece with Michelle Pfeifer? Would that have been Dangerous Liasons by any chance? Also starring John Malkovich and Glen Close? I hate Malkovich. If I were an actress and had to shoot a scene in which I kissed the bastard, I would demand an understudy. Yuck!

[BarryC]

Worst I've ever seen? That's easy-
Little Nicky (2000).
Maggie T's words fit exactly, when she said about her worst: "That was the most vulgar, gross, crude, badly-acted, stupid "film" I had the misfortune to pay to see. A failed attempt at humor, if I ever saw one." My thoughts exactly! One minor detail though, I didn't pay to see it. I was at a girlfriend's house one day, and her daughters had rented it. I got stuck watching it twice! They actually liked it. They were 11 and 13 at the time. Kids!

Runners up:
Witches of Eastwick (1987). I saw that with a couple friends at a drive-in. It was dull and boring. I couldn't figure out why they bothered making that movie in the first place.

The Black Hole (1979). Another waste of a movie. I bought it from Amazon sight-unseen because I thought it would be a cool sci-fi flick about a black hole. Wrong! The only part a black hole played in this movie was the fact that some nut-job scientist had his space ship parked near one to observe it. But the movie really had nothing to do with it. The movie was just about the scientist himself. Boring.

And finally,
Noah's Ark (tv movie) (1999). I bought the DVD last year because I collect Jesus/Biblical movies. This one was a huge disappointment, and that's being nice. First, Lot was in the movie as Noah's friend, but in reality he was from a different time period. Then when the flood started and God shut the door of the ark, we saw all these people being swept away and drowning, including Lot. But then later while Noah's family is floating along in the Ark, Lot shows up in a home-built boat. He and some other bad guys were Old-Testament versions of pirates. They tried to "take" the Ark, using a catapult that threw flaming projectiles. Finally they gave up.
Then there is the peddler. This movie has a peddler who knew Noah very well. He was just exactly like the travelling peddlers that you see in old Westerns. This guy also survived the flood! He converted his peddler's wagon into a boat, and floated around selling stuff to people. He stopped at the ark to sell stuff to Noah and his family.
And finally there was a point during the time when they were all in the Ark that Noah was doubting God's hand in the events that were happening. He and God were talking, and God came close to changing things and letting the Ark sink.
How ridiculous can you get!

[Sarah]

The Black Hole (1979).
:sourgrapes:

[TeenageRepublican]

And finally,
Noah's Ark (tv movie) (1999). I bought the DVD last year because I collect Jesus/Biblical movies. This one was a huge disappointment, and that's being nice. First, Lot was in the movie as Noah's friend, but in reality he was from a different time period. Then when the flood started and God shut the door of the ark, we saw all these people being swept away and drowning, including Lot. But then later while Noah's family is floating along in the Ark, Lot shows up in a home-built boat. He and some other bad guys were Old-Testament versions of pirates. They tried to "take" the Ark, using a catapult that threw flaming projectiles. Finally they gave up.
Then there is the peddler. This movie has a peddler who knew Noah very well. He was just exactly like the travelling peddlers that you see in old Westerns. This guy also survived the flood! He converted his peddler's wagon into a boat, and floated around selling stuff to people. He stopped at the ark to sell stuff to Noah and his family.
And finally there was a point during the time when they were all in the Ark that Noah was doubting God's hand in the events that were happening. He and God were talking, and God came close to changing things and letting the Ark sink.
How ridiculous can you get!

I saw that one on TV. That was terrible. My favorite Jesus flick is Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter.

[federalisthoosier]

Cocktail

[sealman]

A period piece with Michelle Pfeifer? Would that have been Dangerous Liasons by any chance? Also starring John Malkovich and Glen Close? I hate Malkovich. If I were an actress and had to shoot a scene in which I kissed the bastard, I would demand an understudy. Yuck!

No, it was The Age of Innocence - I looked it up online. Terrible movie.

[Maggie_T]

Oh, that one. Only it wasn't Malkovich. It was Daniel Day-Lewis. I like period pieces, but I thought this one was ... sort of meh. All that repressed feelings and all that.

[Maggie_T]

Worst I've ever seen? That's easy-
Little Nicky (2000).
Maggie T's words fit exactly, when she said about her worst: "That was the most vulgar, gross, crude, badly-acted, stupid "film" I had the misfortune to pay to see. A failed attempt at humor, if I ever saw one." My thoughts exactly! One minor detail though, I didn't pay to see it. I was at a girlfriend's house one day, and her daughters had rented it. I got stuck watching it twice! They actually liked it. They were 11 and 13 at the time. Kids!

Depressing, isn't it. Wonder why mom didn't ... here, never mind. None of my business.

Runners up:
Witches of Eastwick (1987). I saw that with a couple friends at a drive-in. It was dull and boring. I couldn't figure out why they bothered making that movie in the first place.

OMG, yes! I absolutely hated that film. And Jack Nicholson is so gross. I bet he even smells. EEEWWWWW!

[Maggie_T]

My favorite Jesus flick is Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter.

Teen, I worry about you. :shake:

[ThomasMore]

Of course, I HAD to look it up. I'm sorry I did.

From Wikipedia: (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_Christ_Vampire_Hunter)

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is a 2001 cult film...which deals with Jesus' modern-day struggle to protect the lesbians of Ottawa, Canada, from vampires with the help of Mexican wrestler El Santos...

The soundtrack features several songs by The Hammerheads, including "Everybody Gets Laid Tonight"...

The movie's tagline is "The power of Christ impales you"

:confused: WTF???? :confused:

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[TeenageRepublican]

Teen, I worry about you. :shake:

What? Did you think I was kidding when I said I watch the cheesiest horror flicks known to mankind?

[TeenageRepublican]

Of course, I HAD to look it up. I'm sorry I did.



:confused: WTF???? :confused:



If you think that's wtf worthy, you should look up Santa's Slay. Santa turns out to be the son of Satan who makes a deal that he would be good for a number of years. When the deal's over, bloodshed comes.
I told you guys, my thing is to watch horror flicks, even the terrible ones.

[Neil Peart]

If you think that's wtf worthy, you should look up Santa's Slay. Santa turns out to be the son of Satan who makes a deal that he would be good for a number of years. When the deal's over, bloodshed comes.
I told you guys, my thing is to watch horror flicks, even the terrible ones. Why does a Jew portray Santa in that movie?

[TeenageRepublican]

Why does a Jew portray Santa in that movie?

I don't know, Neil, I don't know. Seriously, have you noticed that Satan and Santa have the exact same letters?

[Neil Peart]

I don't know, Neil, I don't know. Seriously, have you noticed that Satan and Santa have the exact same letters?Yeah, that's something I've known for quite a few years.

[Maggie_T]

What? Did you think I was kidding when I said I watch the cheesiest horror flicks known to mankind?


What? You thought I was kidding when I said I worry about you.


Cheesy is one thing, Teen. Blasphemous is another. Surely you can tell the difference.