Gift of Fear: When have you had it?

[PrezLeefun]

I was watching Oprah (the thread is not about her so no election or Obama references please) and the show was about listening to intuition, inner voice, etc..... she had a few women on the show talking about how they got a feeling that something was just wrong.... that things didn't add up or were dangerous.

One woman was attacked
Another's home was being repeatedly invaded by a complete stranger
Another's elderly father was being abused by a caretaker
And in clips from previous shows two women (one actress Gabriel Union) were raped.




Now I almost always listen to my gut. I learned that from my mother's mistake.

When I was about 8 years old my mother and I had thanksgiving with a friend from church who lived in a different project from us, but she wasn't too far away from our house.

On our way home we got on the bus (for about 4 stops) and then proceeded to walk the rest of the way home. A young man stopped my mother by getting directly in front of us. He said something to her (idont remember what it was) and she moved out of his way, grabbed my hand, and continued to walk home, having said nothing to him.

Halfway down that same block she turned around and saw no one and kept going in the same direction as before. This is where my mom made her mistake. We could have gone at least three different ways home to ensure we were not being followed but she stayed the course we were on. And I knew she was still scared. She didn't let go of my hand.... her grip tightened.

One block from our home a voice said "Miss", my mother turned around and the man who had stopped us before was directly (I mean a few inches) behind us (I will never how neither of us did not realize he was so close) and he flashed her. My mom then ran with me to our building.

I dont remember what happened after we got home. But after that I knew to do what my mom hadn't....listen to my inner voice.

All these women went against their "uh oh" feeling. Which leads me to my next point which is what I want to discuss.

So have any of you had a moment when you knew something wasn't right and went against that feeling which lead to a compromising situation.

A few months back my inner voice told me what was coming next and I shared that experience

http://www.freeconservatives.com/vb/showthread.php?t=50436

but because I listened I was safe.... I know that in my heart.

So share. What you share may help someone else, so dont be shy.

[ColonialMarine0431]

When I was about 11 or 12 I was riding my bike and the chain came off. It was on a road where not much traffic traveled. So I got off and was fixing it when a van pulled up and 2 men offered to put my bike in the back and give me a ride home. Right away I had an uneasy feeling. Mind you, this was in the mid 1980's before all the stories about perverts were splashed across the media. I told them I lived just down the road (a lie...home was actually about 2 miles away). They persisted. I flatly refused and kept my distance. They eventually left. You never know. It's possible they were good samaratins, but you never know.

[Wolfcounsel]

Your inner voice is basically another sense kicking in. Small, seemingly or not seemingly insignificant details are picked up by your mind, whether you are conscious of it or not. You have experienced those feelings of danger before, and they have come true most of the times.

After many little bits of danger signals are fed into your head, you begin to sense that something is not right with a certain scenario, because your mind is remembering what happened before, and it is giving you the information for what may be a repeat performance. It is something like when you are in a crowded room, chatting away, and then someone walks into the room, and your ears perk up, your "radar" kicks in, and you pay attention to everything around you from that point on.

It is the voice of experence actually. My opinion only. I would listen to what it has to say, and stay on the safe side if possible.

[ColonialMarine0431]

That feeling of "being stared at", then you turn and you ARE. Creepfest.

[Lubbock]

THE GIFT OF FEAR by GAVIN DeBECKER: (http://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Survival-Signals-Violence/dp/0316235024)

Find it in Amazon, buy it, read it. [As well as other books by DeBecker. He's an expert on all phases of Security.]

Prez, always trust your instincts.

I heard DeBecker speak yeeeeeeeeears ago in a public forum just after his Gift of Fear book was released, and even as cautious as I was then, he taught me things that I really needed to know.

I am viewed by many as overly cautions, especially out here in this part of the country in a city that is a very safe city, I have an overly developed sense of my surroundings.

Prez, always trust your instincts.

One thing I learned from DeBecker is that people who are out to do you harm rely on you always wanting to appear to be NICE. You don't want to back away from a man who may be a little too far into your space because that would be insulting to a man who mens you no harm, and we are raised to belive that the vast majority of people [men and women] mean us no harm.

I learned lessons from Gavin DeBecker years ago that dictate to this day, the way I park my car in a shopping center or grocery store parking lot, not to mention the way I view someone [man or woman] who approaches me at a gas station or in a parking lot.

[Wolfcounsel]

"That feeling of "being stared at", then you turn and you ARE. Creepfest." --ColonialMarine0431

It makes my hair on my neck stand up. I think it has something to do with "eyes" in the back of one's head, like when a parent is aware that a small child is up to something no good, especially when he's quiet in another room. I think in the matter of someone staring at you, your mind picks up the fact that several people are looking at you and then their eyes flit to the person behind you looking at you, and your brain registers it, while you are busy on something else. Then the details click on, you turn around, and there the eyes are, right where you looked. Pretty scary I'd say.
<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

[Lubbock]

WC is right. In today's society, we are raised from birth to not listen to that "inner voice." That was one of DeBedker's lessons in survival. Ignoring the "inner voice" makes us "insulting." To appear wary of any stranger is insulting.

Think about it.

Be NICE.

Trust.

To give the impression to a stranger that you do not trust him is insulting, and we are taught from the cradle up, DO NOT BE INSULTING. BE NICE.

People who will do you harm rely on your not wanting to be insulting.

[PrezLeefun]

When I was about 11 or 12 I was riding my bike and the chain came off. It was on a road where not much traffic traveled. So I got off and was fixing it when a van pulled up and 2 men offered to put my bike in the back and give me a ride home. Right away I had an uneasy feeling. Mind you, this was in the mid 1980's before all the stories about perverts were splashed across the media. I told them I lived just down the road (a lie...home was actually about 2 miles away). They persisted. I flatly refused and kept my distance. They eventually left. You never know. It's possible they were good samaratins, but you never know.

Its interesting you say they continued to try to get you in the car.

On the show today there was a security expert who said in our society the norm is when men say no, its the end of the discussion and when women say no its the beginning of negotiations. I guess the same applies to children as it does to women.

Its also interesting because with the guy who harassed me on the train (the link is in the first post here) when I told him No, he continued...right into a hateful and frightening rant.

[Kathy30]

You can't imagine. I've relied on my sixth sense all my life.

Once, I was probably about 16. I was walking down the street, kind of early in the AM. Not in the onseys or twoseys but about the eightsies. I heard someone walking behind me. I hurried up, but the street was about deserted and the steps behind me did not qucken. I stepped into a doorway and took off my high heeled shoes. With the heel used as a weapon, when the man turned into the doorway, I struck out slashing the heel across his face and got him in the eye. He started bleeding and I walked on off. Shoes in hand. I just had a feeling he was going to follow me into that doorway.

More than that. I've left jobs the day before the place closed or the building burned down.

When my mother was in the hospital I had been calling the hospital all day to have every nurse tell me she was fine and resting. I had a feeling. I called a funeral home to make final arrangements. When I hung up the phone from talking to a representative and making those arrangments, my hand had not left the receiver when the hospital called to tell me she had died.

My feelings are never wrong. I think it's that part of me that hears God talking.

[Kathy30]

double post.

[PrezLeefun]

THE GIFT OF FEAR by GAVIN DeBECKER: (http://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Survival-Signals-Violence/dp/0316235024)

Find it in Amazon, buy it, read it. [As well as other books by DeBecker. He's an expert on all phases of Security.]

Prez, always trust your instincts.

I heard DeBecker speak yeeeeeeeeears ago in a public forum just after his Gift of Fear book was released, and even as cautious as I was then, he taught me things that I really needed to know.

I am viewed by many as overly cautions, especially out here in this part of the country in a city that is a very safe city, I have an overly developed sense of my surroundings.

Prez, always trust your instincts.

One thing I learned from DeBecker is that people who are out to do you harm rely on you always wanting to appear to be NICE. You don't want to back away from a man who may be a little too far into your space because that would be insulting to a man who mens you no harm, and we are raised to belive that the vast majority of people [men and women] mean us no harm.

I learned lessons from Gavin DeBecker years ago that dictate to this day, the way I park my car in a shopping center or grocery store parking lot, not to mention the way I view someone [man or woman] who approaches me at a gas station or in a parking lot.


Thanks for putting the guy's name I had forgotten it.

The bit you said (and he said on the show) is the nice factor. The actress I mentioned. Gabrielle Union...http://imdb.com/name/nm0005517/ said that she was raped at her job while she and another girl were closing up. The guy walked in.... and she didn't tell him to leave because she did not want to be mean.

[DesertFox]

I've never had these feelings. Every time I felt something was wrong, nothing was wrong. I've "felt" someone staring at me, but realized I had actually seen him or her out of my peripheral vision.

Someone's watching out for me, though. Once I's hitchhiking home on a dark highway in my work clothes, which were dark, on the right side of the road. A restaurant across the way had a public phone and I needed to call my wife to tell her I's on the way and would be late. I took the change outta my pocket and tried to count it but couldn't; it was too dark. As I peered at my hand to see better, I became aware that there was suddenly enough light to see by. I looked up just in time to see two cars rushing past in the other direction, one passing the other and going on the shoulder where I walked. Next thing I knew, I was about 20 feet away, lying safely on the ground. I never jumped or felt any fear because it all happened too fast. I didn't slide on the gravel or otherwise hurt myself, and missed a couple of small mud puddles. I wasn't hurt or even dirty. I knew I couldn't have leaped that far had I taken a running start at it, much less jumping sideways off one leg.

Something had grabbed me bodily and threw me out of harm's way, even taking care that I not get hurt landing.

I guess the closest I've had to what you're talking about is when I played baseball. In either the infield or the outfield, you watched the batter as the pitch was delivered. About the time it left the pitcher's hand, you just knew where you needed to be if the guy hit the ball. That's called "getting the jump on the ball." My brother-in-law got pissed one time when he was describing just this, and I told him that that's getting the jump on the ball. He said, "But the outfielder was running before the ball was ever hit." I said, "Yep. That's why it's called getting the jump. The fielder is in motion before the ball even reaches the plate. He just 'feels' where it will be going if hit." Brother-in-law refused to believe that kids 10 and 12 could do such a thing, but it wasn't unusual. I was a good fielder, with a minor rep for sensational catches in the outfield, and it was because of getting the jump.

[Lubbock]

Prez, was the Oprah show you saw a "today" show? An in the moment show, with DeBecker as the guest? Or a rerun? Debecker's Gift of Fear book must be fifteen years old [or more], and I'm surprised it's still in print, much less that DeBecker would be a guest in today's world, touting that book.

Maybe "Everything Old Is New Again."

[PrezLeefun]

Its a "today show" and DeBecker was the guest. She showed two clips of old shows during this new one.

They marked this the 10th aniversary of the book.

[Lubbock]

10th?

Hmmmm . . .

Well, Prez, you know how it is with we old folks. We tend to lose track of time. [Usually we're going in the other direction . . . oh, that was just yesterday.]

I would have sworn it was waaaaaay longer than ten years ago when I saw DeBecker in person, speaking about his just-released book, Gift of Fear."

My advanced age and slipping memory notwithstanding, you take every last word Debecker spoke to heart and put it to use.

Don't be "nice."

I don't care what your mother taught you.

Take it on faith: Every stranger, men especially, who approaches you is eyeing you as prey.

[PrezLeefun]

No worries with what my mom taught me. She did tell me to be nice, she also told me to punch people if they picked on me. lol

On a more serious note I realized I have two songs (thus far) that kinda touch on this subject.

Sublime- Date Rape Song
<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/LB6CUVnN-U4&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/LB6CUVnN-U4&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

Rooney- Daisy Duke
I dont have a video for this song that isnt live.

Both involve women who are way too trusting.