Rhino
04-02-2008, 12:17 PM
Found these on another internet forum. Thought they were pretty funny......
One year I'm in Tulsa for a surface finishing conference. The night of March 31st a bunch of us guys go out and have steak and beers. Then when we got back to the hotel we have some more beers. By the time I get back to my hotel room I'm feeling pretty good. It's late, 11:30 local time, but my wife had expressly asked me to call her when I got back in. So I call.
First thing she tells me, "I think I'm pregnant." Now let me tell you - there ain't enough coffee on earth to sober you up faster than hearing THOSE words. She goes on and on about how she's feeling nauseous and is a couple days late - blah, blah, blah. I buy it - hook, line and sinker. The next morning I'm showering up getting ready to go back to the conference. I'm running baby names through my mind when it occurs to me what the date is. And further that when I spoke to the wife the night before it was AFTER MIDNIGHT her time. I got Fooled hardcore.
It was a few years later before we finally had a kid.
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Guy who worked for me had a prosthetic left arm. Looked like two hooks which he could open and close like pliers. Had some simple engineering which would periodically break at the hinge points.
Thing broke on April 1st. Man comes into my office and asks if he go down the road to a friend’s welding shop and get the thing fixed. Told him to go.
Called our Central Office, which was very concerned about the cost of workplace injuries. We were supposed to report these accident/injuries immediately. Told one of the Central Office managers that “…an e/e just broke his arm.” He asked if I had called for an ambulance? Told him, no, the guy drove off to see a friend, to see if they could weld it back together.
Central Office manager goes bat-xxxx. Starts screaming about liability, lawyers, Workers Comp increases, etc. etc. After he stopped yelling, told him the rest of the story. Then asked him, did you know that Jack recently lost an eye? Thankfully, we were able to take the drain trap apart and recover it. No damage as it was glass. Did you want a report on that as well?
Man never spoke lovingly to me again…
One year I'm in Tulsa for a surface finishing conference. The night of March 31st a bunch of us guys go out and have steak and beers. Then when we got back to the hotel we have some more beers. By the time I get back to my hotel room I'm feeling pretty good. It's late, 11:30 local time, but my wife had expressly asked me to call her when I got back in. So I call.
First thing she tells me, "I think I'm pregnant." Now let me tell you - there ain't enough coffee on earth to sober you up faster than hearing THOSE words. She goes on and on about how she's feeling nauseous and is a couple days late - blah, blah, blah. I buy it - hook, line and sinker. The next morning I'm showering up getting ready to go back to the conference. I'm running baby names through my mind when it occurs to me what the date is. And further that when I spoke to the wife the night before it was AFTER MIDNIGHT her time. I got Fooled hardcore.
It was a few years later before we finally had a kid.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Guy who worked for me had a prosthetic left arm. Looked like two hooks which he could open and close like pliers. Had some simple engineering which would periodically break at the hinge points.
Thing broke on April 1st. Man comes into my office and asks if he go down the road to a friend’s welding shop and get the thing fixed. Told him to go.
Called our Central Office, which was very concerned about the cost of workplace injuries. We were supposed to report these accident/injuries immediately. Told one of the Central Office managers that “…an e/e just broke his arm.” He asked if I had called for an ambulance? Told him, no, the guy drove off to see a friend, to see if they could weld it back together.
Central Office manager goes bat-xxxx. Starts screaming about liability, lawyers, Workers Comp increases, etc. etc. After he stopped yelling, told him the rest of the story. Then asked him, did you know that Jack recently lost an eye? Thankfully, we were able to take the drain trap apart and recover it. No damage as it was glass. Did you want a report on that as well?
Man never spoke lovingly to me again…