Funniest basic training story. [Archive]

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Rhino

03-09-2001, 04:55 AM

Jeff Davis Forum Host posts: 124 (2/17/01 8:04:26 pm) | Del All Funniest basic training story. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Here is mine. I had formed up my flight outside the mess hall waiting for the Sgt. to finish eating. As we were standing there I noticed the squadron First Sgt. and the squadron's top Sgt, a CMS with about a hundred hash marks on his sleeves, come walking around the corner of the hall. As the CMS would come to the yellow safety boxes that outlined the sweep of the doors on the building, he would broadjump them. As you might guess, midway into one jump, a door opened and out stepped a new recruit, not even on base long enough to get his uniform. The CMS hit the door and fell right on his butt, blood streaming from a broken nose. The poor little recruit was so scared that I thought he was going to faint. Of course every Airman outside the hall was trying not to laugh out loud. The CMS got up, dusted himself off, and shook the recruit's hand. He then stated that he was providing a demonstration as to why the Air Force buys yellow safety paint. absinthe Gold Star Member posts: 101 (2/18/01 3:11:48 am) | Del Re: Funniest basic training story. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- We had one guy who had free run of the place for the most part. He was made the training schedules guy and spent most of his time in the Drills' office. As fate would have it, he was also the worst bastard in the platoon. Near the end of our cycle, we were cleaning the barracks on a weekend afternoon and he snuck off to the PX to get some pictures that he had dropped off.As he got back, another drill saw him and told him to show the pix or he was going to tell our drill. Well, in the pack of pictures there was the private getting 'lewdly personal' with the drill's 'brown round'. BEST45CAL Forum Host Beastie posts: 179 (2/18/01 3:29:23 pm) | Del Re: Funniest basic training story. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hmm...There was this time our platoon had just finished assaulting the bayonet course and I had to use the head really, really bad. We were in formation and supposed to march back to the barracks, but for some reason the Drill Instructors had gathered in the middle of the course, about forty or fifty feet away from us, having a pow-wow. Grrrrrrrrr...Five minutes went by...ten...fifteen...and the pressure was BUILDING! Now I was shaking with pain! Oh, did I mention it was cold outside? A few times it looked as if we would be moving out, but to no avail. To this day, I have no idea what the DIs were talking about, but I'll bet they were waiting for some recruit to pee in his pants. I couldn't take it anymore. So with little hesitation and making sure the Drill Instructors were facing away from the platoon, I did a proper about face and opened the floodgates. Luckily for me, I was in the fourth squad, which meant that I had three rows of Marine recruits to block me from view. I heard some laughing and one other recruit said "F" it, and started peeing too. What the hell. At this point, I didn't care who saw me. I figured if I'm gonna get thrashed by the Drill Instructors once we got back to the barracks, I might as well finish the job and give 'em a good reason. "Wise men learn more from fools than fools learn from the wise."

Kerry

01-22-2003, 07:03 PM

Ft. Polk, Louisiana, September 1966

In the second or third week on the rifle range while waiting our turn on the firing line, my buddy Forges spots our Company Commander, Captain Weeden walking through the area, though some distance away. Forges starts to salute, thinks better of it and drops his hand in what the Captain mistakes for a casual wave. Captain Weeden hustles over to us and gets right into Forges's face. He said "Forges, you may like me and I may like you; but whatever you do in this man's Army, don't wave!"

Kerry

01-22-2003, 07:09 PM

Ft. Polk, Lousisana, October 1966

In the seventh week our Company was practicing the proper performance of Guard Duty. Some time in the middle of the night, one of our Drill Sergeants approached a trainee. In a textbook response, the trainee said in a commanding voice "Halt! Who is there?" The Drill Sergeant remained silent. The trainee said "Halt! ..." again. Once again the Drill Sergeant remained silent. After the third "Halt! ..." the Drill Sergeant said softly "You don't know what to do, do you?" The trainee responded "That's right. But you better not move until I find out."

DesertFox

01-23-2003, 05:20 PM

February 1971. About the third week, we fell in for morning roll call. The drill sergeants weren't the most literate dudes but usually a guy could figure out whom they meant. The problem was that new guys kept being recycled into our outfit, so the order of names constantly changed slightly. You didn't want to sound off out of order or you'd get pushups.

We were honored to have the senior drill himself calling role that morning. As my name neared I prepared to sound off as required. I followed the Puerto Rican Quinones, who sounded off real good. "Royal!" said the drill. I figured somebody new must have recycled in and kept my mouth shut. "ROYAL!!" he said again. Nobody answered up. "Where the hell's Royal, fourth platoon?" Nobody knew. Royal was AWOL.

Down he read thru the names, finally asking, "Is there anybody here whose name I didn't call?"

"Fourth platoon, Drill Sergeant!"

"Spell your name."

"R-A-I-L, Senior drill!"

Silence as he checked.

"Goddammit, I called your name, trainee!"

"Negative, senior drill!"

"R-A-I-L! ROYAL! I DID call that name! Gimme 50 for smartassing!"

I could see this was a lost argument and knocked out 50 for smartassing.

rbisrb2

01-23-2003, 08:06 PM

I was in a flight that had one 6'9'' and one 6'8" guy, then me at 6'2 on down. Well one morning we were standing in formation and were there for quite awhile. Apparently the guy in front of me had locked his knees and passed out. It seemed a long time for him to fall because I was weighing it out in my mind whether it would be worth breaking ranks to catch him. I finally dicided to do it when he was about chest high.