Crazy Conspiracy Site

[TeenageRepublican]

I heard a lunatic on Rush Limbaugh talk about Stephen King killing John Lennon... I found a whole website dedicated to this conspiracy theroy.
www.lennonmurdertruth.com (http://www.lennonmurdertruth.com)
This is making me cry from laughter. I'm guessing that Heath Ledger was really killed by Dean Koontz also.

[DoctorDoom]

<center><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v349/DocDoom777/BB%20Pix/Paranoia.gif" /></center>

[hosl]

I really want to call satire on this one, but I just can't.

[Neil Peart]

I heard a lunatic on Rush Limbaugh talk about Stephen King killing John Lennon... I found a whole website dedicated to this conspiracy theroy.
www.lennonmurdertruth.com (http://www.lennonmurdertruth.com)
This is making me cry from laughter. I'm guessing that Heath Ledger was really killed by Dean Koontz also. Actually, both were Bush's fault.

[DeclinetoState]

The lunatic manages to call in Bay Area radio talk-show hosts from time to time. I think the call screeners usually weed him out, though.

[DoctorDoom]

Actually, according to my unnamed sources in high places, John Lennon was killed by the man on the grassy knoll.

The bizarre sequence began when a small unmanned scoutcraft from the First Sirian Expeditionary Fleet was monitoring the events in Dallas for later study. The bullet fired by TMOTGK entered the propulsion field of the XGM-733 craft at an angle of precisely 63.92775 degrees. This intrusion initiated a power surge in the propulsion system, opening a microsingularity through which the bullet entered a wormhole.

It reappeared in real space 0.016932 light years from the star Rigel in Orion. It travelled at an increasing velocity toward the massive star. As it entered the planetary system, it was deflected by a small meteor and headed directly toward the location where the 493d Interplanetary Space Olympics were being held. As chance would have it, it encountered the Force Shield Trampoline Event, and impacted the device at an angle of 87.3301 degrees. Since these shields obey the law of angle of incidence = angle of reflection, the bullet shot back outward toward interstellar space.

As it exited the system, it encountered a commercial Galaxy 510 Starlinerjust beginning its jump into hyperspace. Since the liner uses the same drive technology as the scoutcraft, the bullet entered the field, astonishingly enough, at the same 63.92775 degree angle. This of course initiated another microsingularity, sending the wayfaring bullet into another wormhole that terminated 1.68351 million miles from where the Earth now was due to the motion of the solar system through the galaxy.

It plunged Earthward (having exited in our planet's direction), streaked downward toward New York City, and impacted an auto bumper 8.32 feet from where Mark David Chapman was standing examining his new handgun. The ricocheting bullet thudded squishily into John Lennon's body, and the sound of the bullet on the bumper startled Chapman, who reflexively pulled the trigger, sending a round through a sewer grate near his feet.

The rest is of course history, and today an innocent man languishes in prison because of an assassin in Dallas and a curious alien race.

Note: the Sirians did send an official explanation and apology via a MicroMessage Drone. It landed on the floor of the office of the mayor, was mistaken for a cockroach, and was squashed into an icky mess.

And that's the truth.

[TeenageRepublican]

I'm just trying to figure out why the government would use Stephen King and why the hell would he write subtle "hints" that he did it in his writing? What kind of a dumbass would do that?
Oh and Doc, I never got an apology from them when they stole my soul. It took me months to track it back down... what aliens would do with my soul is unknown. But one thing is perfectly clear, Tom Cruise is homosexual...

[Gonzo67]

Well, I read the site and I honestly feel bad for anyone that lives near that fruit-cake.

But, I just couldn't resist. I had to e-mail him. When you have access to a crack-pot like that, it's almost a sin to just let it go...

Copy of the E-Mail I sent him:


---------------------------E-Mail----------------------------------
Dude, I just read your web site about your belief that Steven King, with the help of Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan, killed John Lennon.

I just want to ask you please, before you put up more web sites and try peddling your retarded little conspiracy paper... put down the crack pipe, take the tin foil off your head, and seek medical help! You're a ****ING MORON! Do you HONESTLY believe that stupid shit you're printing?

Go back on your meds you ****ing lunatic!

Sincerely, The Person Who Is Watching you.

P.S. In case you're interested, It was actually ME! I killed John Lennon! I also Shot John F. Kennedy! The 2 guys on the grassy knoll were a diversion. I was wearing a blue dress, disguised as a woman, standing behind a mailbox on the sidewalk. I also shot President Lincoln, and I work at Area 51, where I teach the aliens we recovered at Roswell how to play Greensleeves on the piano. We'll be touring this spring, we plan to do a 2 Alien show on Broadway the first part of 2009. I'll send you tickets. If you don't receive them within two weeks, you should keep on the look out for a black van with tinted windows. If you see one, they are probably Russian KGB agents who stole the tickets out of your mail box and are going to use them in a cover up when the King of Russia launches his new X-382 missile which has a top secret Electromagnetic Meteorological Attractor Device installed which, when deployed approximately 2.3 miles into the Earths atmosphere will give him the capability to steer hurricanes, tornadoes, and other weather anomalies and direct them onto any target he chooses. You've seen this technology in use before. The United States government has been working toward developing their own, their first successful test was held recently in New Orleans.

[TeenageRepublican]

:lol: You do realize he's going to take that seriously, right?

[garlicguy]

...take the tin foil off your head...

Gonzo,

Most of the rest of your email advice to this dude makes sense. But the tin foil hat is probably by his therapist's prescription. These little hats tend to make us ... um... er... him feel a bit more secure, see?

Just a little FYI.

:biggrin:
gg

[Gonzo67]

You do realize he's going to take that seriously, right?


I can only hope...


Most of the rest of your email advice to this dude makes sense. But the tin foil hat is probably by his therapist's prescription. These little hats tend to make us ... um... er... him feel a bit more secure, see?


Well, I in no-way meant any offense to legitimate wearers of tin-foil hat, and I most certainly intend no offense to the Reynold's Wrap company, or it's generic brand affiliates.

[DeclinetoState]

Steve Lightfoot
General Delivery
Santa Rosa, Calif. 95402

General Delivery? Does that mean he's homeless?

[Gonzo67]

No, he lives in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!

[TeenageRepublican]

The dude needs to take a spelling class...
...I've heard that she has attended Bilteberger meetings, one of the worlds most powerful families...
...Meanwhile the Reverent Wright has fanatically reared his head, yet again,
seemingly to bring Obama down, deliberately, and we all must wonder why...
http://www.lennonmurdertruth.com/footnotes.asp?id=178

[HomeschoolrsRUs]

No, he lives in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!

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[Timberwolf]

No, he lives in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!
:biglaugh: :biglaugh: