Cap Al Franken

[DeclinetoState]

You know you want to.

http://ak.imgfarm.com/images/ap/Minnesota_Senate_Franken.sff_MNJM110_2008060716343 9.jpg

[roguemerc]

I remember how he tried to be the Limbaugh of the left, but failed miserably. He sounded like a total amateur on the radio.

[PrezLeefun]

I am a lying shmuck.

[DesertFox]

http://ak.imgfarm.com/images/ap/Minnesota_Senate_Franken.sff_MNJM110_2008060716343 9.jpg

Why aren't you people laughing? I am FUNNY! LAUGH!

Okay, if you won't laugh WITH me, then laugh AT me!

Just ... please ... LAUGH! *sob* *sob*

[Timberwolf]

You know you want to.
Damn straight we do...

http://ak.imgfarm.com/images/ap/Minnesota_Senate_Franken.sff_MNJM110_2008060716343 9.jpg


I'm too farking stupid to be a Senator...What? I'm not? Well, dip me in dogsh**

Oh, wait...I AM dogsh**

[HomeschoolrsRUs]

http://ak.imgfarm.com/images/ap/Minnesota_Senate_Franken.sff_MNJM110_2008060716343 9.jpg

I'm NOT Good Enough, I'm NOT Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People DON'T Like Me! -- go figure!


:smirk:

[Timberwolf]

Sunuvabugger!! How did I miss THAT one?? Good one, Homey!! :thumb:

[HomeschoolrsRUs]

:evilgrin:

I'm just good that way, :smirk:

[DeclinetoState]

It's hard to imagine how this person could be taken as a serious political candidate.

[PaulRevere]

When I grow up I want to be a comedian, no wait, radio talk show host, no, senator, maybe even king of the world!

You must be a brain-dead Republican-hating liberal to take that failed comedian/ failed radio talk show host as a credible senatorial candidate.

[DoctorDoom]

It's hard to imagine how this person could be taken as a serious political candidate.If it's good enough for Obama and Clinton and Kennedy and Ried and Murtha and Pelosi and Boxer and Feinstein and Waters and ...

[Wyatt_Junker]

http://ak.imgfarm.com/images/ap/Minnesota_Senate_Franken.sff_MNJM110_2008060716343 9.jpg

This androgynous asshole probably eats deviled eggs with a tall glass of warm whole milk. You know the guy. He's wearing pastels. Ocean Pacific shorts and penny loafers and he's sitting on a concrete bench at a public park with one buttery thigh crossed over the other like a housewife going through 'the change'. Occassionally he shoves his glasses back up to the bridge of his nose with his right forefinger, every minute and 30 seconds, like Sisyphus except instead of a boulder, a nose.

Anyway, I hear his adenoidal pitch creep up and lodge itself onto my occipital lobe like a pond skeeter and crawl sideways into my ear. Such a pleading sound that could only come from the soft gooey esophagus of a neutered terd. Like a deer just hit by a car and dying next to a destroyed radiator. He slams another deviled egg into his mouth and chews it like a cow its cud, side to side, with his enormous underbite. He eats quickly and efficiently like a wind tunnel making strange sucking noises. Then, he lifts the warm glass of milk up to his lips, and as he drinks it, some of it dribbles down the corner of his mouth where a large chunk of the yellow egg is still clinging. The milk picks up the egg debris and carts it off, with the rest of the particulate matter down his chin, then down his adam's apple where it all disappears underneath his yellow turtleneck sweater.

Seeing this sickens me. I have seen his type before. Essentially, a lukewarm sack of estrogen piled up like jello from his alcoholic jowels to his child-bearing hips which are like that of an overweight librarian's. There is the whiney quality that is like a child telling on another fellow classmate to his teacher that comes across, something petulant and unformed like shit in a geezer's ropy colon, unable to mature. He is like a good hardening of the arteries where death is preferable to experience, for to be around him is to want to scede from biological viability. If he ever was pregnant, the fetus, upon hearing that unmistakable whine vibrating around the uterus would stick out its hand from his vagina, grab the nearest coathanger and abort itself rather than suffer being sired by such an insufferable clown of total Peppridge Farm variety cheeses. Then, the fetus would shop vac itself out of existence into the void, erasing itself as if it entered a comforting black hole in order to avoid another syllable with Jackass.

Meanwhile, more devilled eggs. More warm, whole milk.

[DesertFox]

If he ever was pregnant, the fetus, upon hearing that unmistakable whine vibrating around the uterus would stick out its hand from his vagina, grab the nearest coathanger and abort itself rather than suffer being sired by such an insufferable clown of total Peppridge Farm variety cheeses.
http://freeconservatives.com/smilies/doggie.gif

Now that's some serious, Hall of Fame shit right there.

[Wyatt_Junker]

I'm glad you enjoyed that.

When I was a kid I remember seeing men who resembled women at picnics. This was in the 70's. They wore funny clothes. Yellows. Light greens. Baby blues. And they would sit indian style on blankeys and nibble on Triscuits and cheese or an orange wedge.

And I remember being sickened by them. They usually had perms like Mike Brady from the Brady Bunch. And this made me associate them with the smell of egg because perms stink. Not sure why they do, but they do. Like egg.

And Franken seemed to me to be that kind of androgyny. Repulsive. Like having the dry heaves on an empty stomach. There's nothing in there to boot, but it doesn't stop your body from thinking it wants to, or needs to.

His type is gelitinous. I'm sure he has man cans. Wide hips so that the babies don't bump their heads on the way out. He is a waitress. A maid. A clumsy stewardess in a cramped airplane shitter. I don't like him. I don't like his perm. I don't like his mouth. His nose. His glasses. His voice. The only thing that could help him would be gut punches to the diaphragm or maybe palm strikes to the sternum. Something to make him seem real. To get him to stop talking like he has the voice of a broken toy keyboard. Like when you jump start a car. You try to find the soul of a man. What wakes him up. And when all you find are lies and bullshit, you wonder what happened to his real self because all you see is this gay zombie. Gay, fat zombie... with a perm.

[DesertFox]

Yep. Fat, glutinous men make you sick. Just being heavy is no prollem as long as it's manly heavy rather than that part-girl, part-boy, sashay-walk swinging arms to the side the way women do. Men pump their arms straight forward and back, but not these androgynes. They wanna be girls around the girls and don't know how to be boys around the boys. Franken said he rassled in high school. One can imagine him rassling, hoping to jam his lips over the guy's strap and suck out the man sweat. None of the other guys would want him in the same gym with them.

[DeclinetoState]

When I was a kid I remember seeing men who resembled women at picnics. This was in the 70's.Those "men" are now the liberal women in the U.S. Senate.

[DesertFox]

...and Michael Jackson grew up.

Sorta.

[DeclinetoState]

Cap Al Franken? Boy, wouldn't we like to . . .