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oracle
10-13-2002, 04:22 AM
Super sergeant beats the odds (http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,5273409%255E663,00.html)

<font size=1>13oct02</font>

SUPERHUMAN sergeant Rod Morgan is back in action -- and his comrades are nervous.

The US Army Ranger, 35, is a bone-breaking, bullet-butting magnet for mayhem who attracts trouble wherever he goes.

In July, a bullet slammed into his helmet, twisting his head back with enough force to fracture a bone in his neck.

In the same attack near Kandahar in Afghanistan, a bullet shattered his ankle.

It was a case of lightning striking twice.

In July 1999, a bullet smashed into his helmet while he was on patrol in Kosovo.

Sgt Morgan was knocked unconscious for nine hours. He was also hit in the hand and shoulder.

And in an actual lightning strike, he was struck by a thunderbolt while training in North Carolina in July 1995.

An overzealous medic then smashed three of his ribs while pounding on his chest in an attempt to revive him.

July is often a bad month.

In July last year, Sgt Morgan suffered a dislocated elbow and had to be cut out of the wreckage when a truck ran a red light and smashed into his car as he made his way to Fort Bragg in North Carolina.

Ironically, the winner of two Purple Hearts joined the army because he was desperate for a quiet life after landing in hospital 15 times during a nine-year career as a rodeo rider.

After a bull shattered his jaw -- months after another punctured his lung -- he woke up in hospital to see his his wife, who was heavily pregnant.

"I started thinking: 'What kind of life is this going to be, me always getting hurt, with a baby on his way?' " he said in an interview with the Los Angeles Times.

He decided on a less dangerous career path -- with the US special forces. "I guess trouble just seems to follow me," he said.

"My commander says he loves me to death, but he won't fly in the same aircraft with me. All you can do is laugh about it. Everybody else does."

...

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Wyatt_Junker
10-13-2002, 10:33 AM
This guy walks into a room and the light fixtures start to dim. He goes outside and a small raincloud stalks him overhead. A Murphy's Law poster boy.

Poor cursed bastard. Get this guy a desk job on the first floor, away from everyone else. He's got some real stinky karma. I'd start with a couple exorcisms, throw in some scientology, check for magnetic waves. This guy's got some shit that needs working out. Do a full rectal, maybe some bloodletting or leaching, check his aura. And if none of that works, strap him in a chair and beat the demon out with open handed slaps to the face.